(Closed) Is a "Promise Ring" truly promising engagement in the future?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1481 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@kayteegeee:  How old are you? I feel like promise rings are kind of “high school” and when my SO said he was planning on getting me one I told him that I appreciate the thought but I would rather he put that money towards my ACTUAL engagement ring.  

 

That being said, if you believe he’s being sincere, then maybe this is just a stepping stone for him? A baby step if you will, because it’s possible that he’s not ready to be engaged yet. Beautiful ring btw!

Post # 4
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

i would be sort of weirded out if my Fiance got me a promise ring that cost 2k but wouldn’t propose with a ring that cost the same amount or less…does that make sense?

 

 my Fiance gave me a ring that wasn’t an engagement ring, a year before we were actually engaged…i still wear it to this day! 

 

 

 

Post # 5
Member
491 posts
Helper bee

To me it seems like spending $2k+ on a promise ring is kind of a step back on the path to him becoming financially secure. That is a decent amount of money that he was clearly able to spend, so it seems like money isn’t really a huge problem?

 

Personally, I don’t think the ring necesarily means he is truly promising an engagement in the future, his words and actions should mean more to to. I think part of what makes an engagement ring so special is that the general public knows the importance of a ring on the left ring finger so each person in the realtionship is showing off the engagement, to me, the same meaning isn’t attached to a promise ring. But again, if you believe his words, that should be enough regardless of the ring. 

Post # 6
Member
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@kayteegeee:  My Fiance gave me a promise ring about 10 years ago (I was 19) and it only cost about $80. I still wear it on my right finger (always have worn it there). But personally, I wouldn’t want a promise ring that cost that much.

How old are you two? Is a money an issue (doesn’t seem like it) or is age more the issue? 

A promise ring is a sign of committment, but not a guarantee (just like an engagement ring doesn’t guarantee anything either). 

Post # 7
Member
2433 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yes, I had a promise ring — when we were both in high school. After high school, he bought me a different ring, which I wore on my left hand occasionally during college but didn’t really think of as a promise ring. We got married after college. 

No one I know personally had a promise ring or wore one after college.

Post # 8
Member
3686 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I agree with previous posters in that I think of promise rings as high-schooly. Also, if the only reason he’s waiting is to be financially secure, I would have been FURIOUS if my boyfriend had dropped 2k on a promise ring. At that point, you might as well just be engaged and have a long engagement.

Post # 9
Member
1770 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1997

@kayteegeee:  a promise ring doesn’t mean that he is promising to propose, just means he is serious about you. You’re more important than a girlfriend but less than a fiance..you’ve just been dating a year. I wouldn’t be in  a rush nor would I move in.

Post # 11
Member
3686 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Well it’s a positive thing that he didn’t spend that 2k recently if he feels financially insecure. I’m not sure how I’d feel wearing a ring that was purchased for another woman though.

Post # 13
Member
55 posts
Worker bee

I would not be happy wearing a ring originally intended for another woman. Absolutely not.

Post # 14
Member
9648 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

I don’t think promise rings are stupid or just for high school kids at all. Fiance got me a promise ring (really little diamond – looked like an engagement ring) about a year and a half before we got engaged. While it wasn’t $2k, it was about $100, it was a promise to get engaged sometime in the future. Don’t lose hope! 

ETA: Just saw he bought it for an ex, give it back!! Get him to sell it and put it towards being financially secure, or if he is that keen on giving you a promise ring, use some of the money to get you your own ring

Post # 15
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@kayteegeee:  Wait, was your promise ring originally bought as an engagement ring for this other girl, or as a promise ring for her? Either way, I would be majorly p/o if FH had given me a ring from a broken relationship. “Gee, obviously this ring holds so much meaning for you if it’s already seen one relationship go down the drain.”

Post # 16
Member
1481 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@kayteegeee:  If you’re not ok with wearing a second hand ring (which in your situation, I wouldn’t be either) you need to tell him! No matter how much we may wish it, our SOs are not mind readers

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