- 5 years ago
Hi fellow bees,
I have been reading other posts on this board and I now feel the urge to share my story here and get some feedback…
Me and my SO met in the spring of 2011 and have been seeing each other very frequently ( 3 times a week during the first month, having weekend sleepovers after and now been moved in together for a few months). During our first month of dating, my parents invited him for our family BBQ and he’s been coming to my parent’s house to have weekend dinners with my family ever since. I am Chinese-born Canadian, 31 and he is Swiss being permanent resident in Canada, 35.
Last summer, a little over a year being together, we went to his home in Switzerland to see his family and friends. I got along great with all of them and have been in touch via email and skype with his parents.
We have never had a quarrel or fight about anything. He’s a sweetheart who really takes good care of me in every way. Ever since we met. Now we are happily living together downtown Toronto, he works at home most of the time (he has a great job) and I work 10 min walk away in the heart of the entertainment district. We travel a lot when we have the time. We have been to Chicago, New York, Boston, Vermont, Quebec City, Jamaica, 7 countries in Europe and many many provincial parks when we camp in the summer. He is the greatest thing that ever happened to me and I can’t live without him.
Being from Chinese cultural background, I would have never imagined being together for almost 2 years and not married. My parents have allowed me great liberty to see him whenever I want, and even moving in together, but they are getting anxious. My mom would occassionally bring up the “giving milk for free” comment and threaten to talk to him about our situation, as most of our family and friends are Chinese, and me being ready and not having a ring or a date set is kind of embarrassing.
So in September 2012 I had a heart to heart talk with him, telling him about my difficult situation with social pressure and my expectation of not having to wait for too long for a formal commitment. I cried my heart out because it was very hard for me to do. I am a hopelessly romantic person, who wishes things could just happen naturally and he could give me the commitment without any pressure. I wish I didn’t have to confess to him of me waiting… it’s a pride thing, and also a sad thing to do… He comforted me and told me that in his society people don’t get married that fast. All the people he knew either are in a relationship for years without marrying (while becoming parents) or marry after being together for at least a few years, and that we haven’t even made 2 years which is a little short for him to consider marriage. Nonetheless he’s committed to me by having me registered as his spouse under his benefit and having me on the lease without me paying a penny for rent… He told me to trust him and he won’t let me down. He said we will do it right. He’ll find a way that’s acceptable to both of our cultures.
My birthday was early December. I really hoped to receive a ring. It went by and no ring. Then it’s Xmas. Still no ring. Then New Year came. Still no ring. I was getting so anxious. We even went to Vagas before Xmas, and visited the Grand Canyon. After all these landmarks are gone, I bitterly said “Honey I really wish I was a man sometimes, so that I can take matters in my own hands. I would have proposed 3 times already…” He said nothing.
Now my parents are going back to China for a visit in March. My mom was feeling uneasy about us not having anything to show for the relationship and would cause her embarrassment back home, so she wants to have a talk with my SO. When I told SO this, he said “there is no need”.
Last Sunday, I was using his computer to look for something int he browsing history, and I saw an email message title in the history “Your Blue Nile order has been shipped”, and the date was Jan 8th. This lit a fire under my butt and I had to search “blue Nile” and “engagement ring” in his history. It only kept history till Nov 15th and he has been researching this topic since at least then… I was shocked and I couldn’t help feeling extra tender towards him… he is still the same, so cool and collected and not giving out any signal at all. I am pretty sure he has received the ring by now and he is just holding on to it…
This weekend we are planning to go to Ottawa to skate the Rideau Canal, then Valentine’s day is coming, then we are heading to Aruba end of February to celebrate his birthday (he’s turning 36). Do you guys think a proposal would come on one of these occassions? Am I just imagining things? Can it be that I’ll be his FI?
Thanks for reading my long story! I couldn’t contain my feelings!
Good luck to all waiting bees!!!