(Closed) Is a rehearsal dinner mandatory?

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
2359 posts
Buzzing bee

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taylorg123 :  Will you still have the rehersal? 

To be fair I don’t think you need the dinner. Its nice to get everyone together, but when it came right down to it everyone talked to people they knew, there wasn’t much mingling and thats just how it was. Its nice to have, but if you can’t afford it and no one is willing to pay then save yourself some cash 

Post # 4
Member
739 posts
Busy bee

Of course it’s not mandatory.

If you can’t afford one don’t have one. 

Post # 5
Member
2623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Can you do something smaller/cheaper- like ordering pizzas to eat at your venue or at the hotel people are staying at?

Post # 6
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Do you actually *need* a rehersal?

I genuinly can’t get my head around the fact that big fancy rehersal dinners are actually a thing – from an outside perspective, they seem a bit rediculious on top of a wedding.

For what it’s worth, we’re attending a wedding next month and the plan for after the rehersal is to head to the pub for a drink.

Post # 7
Member
1386 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If you’re making people be at the rehearsal – you need to thank them. The meal can be a cookout or pizza – doesn’t have to be fancy. 

Post # 8
Member
966 posts
Busy bee

If you can’t afford a dinner, that’s fine. But you can’t have a rehearsal. If people are coming to rehearse your wedding you have to host them afterwards. You can cancel the whole ordeal.

Post # 9
Member
10610 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

We didn’t have a rehersal dinner. However, my DHs family really wanted to have a get together the night before the wedding with my family (the two sides had never met due to distance) so we all just met at a restaurant and everyone took care of themselves. We also invited the bridal party as they were all in from out of town and didn’t have other plans. It worked out great and was super casual, but we had a really casual wedding.

Post # 10
Member
2359 posts
Buzzing bee

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taylorg123 :   Then just have the rehersal and don’t have the dinner. How many people are there? If you can’t afford it you can’t afford it. I dislike the idea that you HAVE to have a dinner for people. Near the date of my wedding I was hemorrhaging money. Even the idea of getting pizzas for people was way beyond what we could do. We were downright poor.

You could always have your fiancee ask his parents if they were going to host a dinner. 

 

Post # 11
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Honestly, just skip the rehearsal. People will figure it out. Unless the vast majority of the wedding party has NEVER attended a wedding, it’s unnecessary.

However, if you have a rehearsal, you need to feed the people who attend it. Like PPs have said, order a few pizzas and you’re fine. 

Post # 12
Member
3440 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

Do you really need a rehearsal? 🤔 Think about it. Because I honestly don’t see how its necessary in every wedding. My bridesmaids already know who needs to walk with whom and at what time, pics included. This isn’t rocket science and it wasn’t worth trying to coordinate everyones schedule for a venue rehearsal thats only available on select days. If you can skip it altogether save yourself the stress. 

Post # 13
Member
919 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

If you’re relatively close to them, one roundabout way to ask your FI’s family about the rehearsal dinner would be to say something like “Hey so-and-so, I was thinking about what we’re going to do for dinner after the rehearsal. I’m about to start looking up some options, but wanted to make sure I wasn’t stepping on your toes.” Something like that would allow you to see if it’s even on their radar without making it sound like you’re trying to get them to host something. 

For our rehearsal dinner, we’re just going to make some food at my FI’s grandmothers house. I don’t know what we’ll make yet, but I was half-joking that it was going to be Stouffer’s lasagna. If you absolutely can’t provide any dinner (homemade or otherwise) or even a snack, but need to have a rehearsal, try to plan it for the afternoon. People will notice the lack of dinner a lot more if you have an evening/dinner time rehearsal. 

Post # 14
Member
3360 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
taylorg123 :  if you’re having a rehearsal, you have to have a dinner.

Post # 15
Member
1263 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Agreed with prior bees- if you’re having a rehearsal, you need to provide something for your wedding party afterwards to thank them for coming. It doesn’t have to be fancy- pizza or pasta or something works! My cousin had her rehearsal dinner at a pizza place and it was great!

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