Is a skipped wedding really "friendship ending"? (General discussion + poll)

posted 2 years ago in Guests
  • poll: Responding "No" to a wedding invite is ...

    ... rude and unforgivable in ALL circumstances. Automatic relationship killer.

    ... v. frowned upon, but acceptable with a true extenuating circumstance (ex: pregnancy due date).

    ... a completely acceptable option for destination weddings, but not OK for local ones.

    ... neutral, could be ok or not depending on the closeness of relationship.

    ... totally fine for any reason. It's not a summons!

    OTHER / I'll post in the comments

  • Post # 76
    550 posts
    Busy bee

    Not to me- not at all friendship ending. 

    I have friends who haven’t even responded whether or not they’re coming, and it doesn’t have me feel any different about our friendship. 

    It’s just a wedding. It may be an important day to me, but I know how it feels from the other side of things – life gets busy and crowded, and keeping someone else’s wedding in mind isn’t the largest priority. 



    Post # 77
    5117 posts
    Bee Keeper

    View original reply
    glutton :  I’m with you. This person who didn’t go to her friend’s wedding because she broke up with her SO, does she still manage to get to work? Go to the grocery store? Vook dinner? Shop for clothes? Chances are yes to most of these. A person who uses a bad breakup as an excuse to get out of a best friend’s wedding is a friend to no one but herself. 

    So sorry, but this preoccupation with grieving a relationship strikes me as ridiculously self-serving. No, it’s “not for me to say” how much someone should grieve or in what way, but it is for me to say that I consider it incredibly self-indulgent,  a mindset that is encouraged now with the ever-growing list of the victims of life experience. Plenty of people are cheated on or have relationships that come to a bad end. It’s hardly a unique occurrence. And it’s not an excuse to get out of supporting your best friend on a very important day in her life.

    But I’m mean like that. 

    Post # 78
    668 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    It is NOT friendship ending at all. 

    Post # 79
    655 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2019

    I personally think it’s acceptable to skip out on wedding you have to travel to. Everything adds up I fully expected people to skip out on my own wedding for this. But I think it all depends on the bride and how laidback they are with stuff. 

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