(Closed) Is a wedding 3 weeks before Cousin-in-Law to be a bad move?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

If it in anway is going to make people have to choose which wedding to go to (long travel, hotel stays, over lapping showers/event) then I would pick a different date. I know you only get a day, but you putting yours so close to theirs, which has been set for some time is rude in my eyes.

Would yours be before hers or after?

ETA: I see in the title that it would be before (duh), I would pick a different date to avoid any conflict.

Post # 4
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

not cool. 3 weeks isnt really enough time for the 25 guests to re group and re travel…

Post # 5
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Well since April and May are out and you not wanting to wait until June ( I’m having a 4 month engagement in winter because I didn’t want to wait till summer either so I understand) I see why you would want to do it before theirs.  I think end of February would be fine since hers is end of March.  Just be prepared that many people are probably already planning on going to her wedding so they may not be able to do both. Also, I would just make sure your Fiance family are ok with it being before theirs since it’s their side of the familys wedding and if her family gets upset by the timing of your wedding atleast your in-laws are on board with your decsion. But since they aren’t even going to the wedding I’m sure they are fine with it. Also, sending the cousins an email explaining why you want to get married so soon may diffuse any issues from them. We don’t want anoither bee posting on here soon saying ” My cousins getting married 3 weeks before my wedding!!” haha

Post # 6
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

25 people is a lot. I would find a different date or expect that those 25 probably wont make it.

Post # 7
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

So she is your FI’s second cousin?  I think that she isn’t a first cousin does make a difference.  (As in, it’s less of a problem.)  Would she be invited?  Are the families really close?  I think if the answer is yes to both it would be a bit off.  I would suggest talking to her and explaining your reasoning.

ETA: it’s still 3 weeks and not 3 days.

Post # 8
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I am a very upfront person so I would just call the cousin up and talk it over with her. She could tell you how many overlapping guests were saying they were coming. If it is only one or two and she doesn’t care I would say go for it. It might not affect as many as you think so may be a non issue or it might affect more than you think so you might need to pick a different day. By asking either way you will know.

Post # 9
Member
5883 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think this is only an issue if people have to travel for both weddings. It sounds like most of the 25 overlapping are in NY, right? So it won’t be a burden for them to go to your wedding. The only ones that will have to make a choice are the Cali cousins, but thats only 1 or 2 people.

If that’s the case, I say double check with the in-laws and go for it. 

Post # 10
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

With the added information- I would talk about it with your Future In-Laws and go from there. If you could put it in the begining of February and give a couple more weeks between the weddings, maybe it won’t be an issue. If you do decide to move forward I would talk with the cousin and explain why you chose the date. good luck!

Post # 11
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

I would talk to her, and ask if she will hold a grudge etc.  But February 18 or 25 will give her a good month to herself.  It’s 12 weeks for you – so better hurry with it!  🙂

Post # 12
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would be super angry if a cousin did this to me.  Let her have her moment… heck… let her have the whole month!  You might need to wait until June… what’s another 3 months?

Post # 13
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think 3 weeks is fine for a future cousin in law. If it were your sibling, that would be cutting it a little close since there would be a huge overlap in guests and you might be stealing thunder, but the two of you aren’t close and I”m sure the overlap won’t be that bad so I would just go for it.

Post # 15
Member
1091 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor

I would do Jan or Feb (is January an option?) and have a neat wintery wedding. I mean, it’s not a first cousin, she’s removed and you’ve never even met her-no one in your fi’s immediate family is going!

Post # 16
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I say it’s fine.  I got married 6 months after my SIL. And my hubs 1st cousin got engaged right after her wedding and before mine.  She also had her showe and engagement party a month before mine. . She got married one Month after us. As she’s a 1st cousin there was a TON of overlapping guests. And the guests would’ve had to travel for both weddings. Many of them came to both, and many others chose to go to hers. But you know what?  It was no biggie. And it totally worked out.  We still got to feel special and still “all about us”. It was just a bit more chaotic than it would prob have been had it been one of us at a time. 

The topic ‘Is a wedding 3 weeks before Cousin-in-Law to be a bad move?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors