Is adding a house fund to your registry tacky?

posted 2 years ago in Money
Post # 46
1754 posts
Buzzing bee

I personally wouldn’t find it tacky. I’d actually like to give money to someone who’s making wise financial choices with it.

Post # 47
1462 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

stlkennedy92 :  Just don’t register, or create a very small registry. It’s no one’s business what you use the wedding gift cash for, but you don’t want to force people to give money specifically to fund your house. We used half of our wedding gift cash to help pay off my grad school loans.

Post # 48
1631 posts
Bumble bee

All of the fund type websites charge a fee so it’s a ridiculous waste of money. 

I don’t understand why people care what the cash is earmarked for. Cash is fungible by nature. If you’re transferring value to someone, they can use it for whatever. 

I also don’t want physical gifts, so we just aren’t registering for anything and not putting anything anywhere. Our parents know we don’t want physical gifts, so if relatives ask our parents will just relay the message. If people insist on giving us a gift we don’t want I’ll just thank them for it via thank you note and donate it to charity.  

Post # 49
613 posts
Busy bee

beevincent18 :  When my sister did her honey fund for her wedding, she set up a paypal account to avoid the fees.  I have to admit, if I would not give to an online honey fund or any other kind of fund because of the fees, and would just give a cash!

Post # 50
442 posts
Helper bee

Depends on your norms.

I’m from a culture that loves giving money at every occasion. So, no…telling me money given will go to paying for a house isn’t offensive, I’d think it was great you guys were sensible and not splurging on a private over-water villa in the Maldives with money gifted. 

I would side-eye honeymoon funds, because vacations aren’t a necessity, I wouldn’t be bothered by a house fund, because housing and a roof over one’s head is a necessity.

Would not do registry in this case though, maybe ask for gift cards you can resell or just outright say you’ve got everything you need for a house, you’re just saving up for a house when people ask and hopefully your guests will get the point.

Post # 51
2676 posts
Sugar bee

Tacky.  I don’t like anyone telling me what to do with my money.

Post # 52
383 posts
Helper bee

I have to say this is super tacky and rude. If you have everything you need, do not register and most people will get the hint to gift cash.

We did not register even though we did not live together (its a cultural thing) and most people gave us cash. We only got 1 box gift which was still very sweet. 

Post # 53
942 posts
Busy bee

I just attended a friend’s wedding where on their website they didn’t post a registry and basically had a page where they explained that they had enough stuff and that they were saving up for an ireland vacation as tribute to her familial history.  Then at a dinner a few weeks prior to their wedding, she told my Darling Husband and I that they were hoping they would get enough in gifts to put down a payment on a house.  My friend is extremely hard working and does everything for her family.  I’m so proud of her and happy for her, so of course I was excited to help her and her Darling Husband to pay for a home!  We gave generously at her wedding because we care for them and want to see them happy and achieve their dreams, including buying a house.  Everyone who is getting super snarky about how you ask for money for your house is forgetting that the people who are coming to your wedding probably care about you and want to see you happy.  You know these people best and know how they will react to your requests.  Do what makes you happy and what respects your loved ones.  Good luck!

Post # 54
12128 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

There’s a difference between asking for money for a home and telling people who gifted money of their own free will how it will be used, for example, a down payment. The latter is perfectly acceptable. While it’s not obligatory, it’s gracious to tell people how you intend to use their gift money. 

I would be happy to hear that a gift was going toward a new home. 

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