(Closed) Is allowing FMIL to choose a mistake?

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Requesting where exactly their table is in the layout is a bit much. But my Mother-In-Law did make up her own tables, and it made my life a hell of a lot easier!!

Post # 4
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

That seems awfully pushy. Wonder if your Fiance could run interference for you on this one?

Post # 5
Member
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

She knows her guests better than you, I’d let her take care of the arrangements, as far as where in the room they land though, that’s a bit much in my opinion– I would give her a non-commital response on that one and come back to it as your date nears. 

Post # 6
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Thats a bit much.

Post # 7
Member
5965 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

She might be trying to help…but sucks at it

Post # 8
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I assigned all my guests to certain tables myself and went over it with my husband, his parents and my parents. I did not have a lot of guests whom I did not personally know.

I assigned tables to certain areas of the venue (by the DJ, by the dance floor etc) without input from others.

Post # 9
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

It was HIGHLY recommended to me, by my previous bride friends, that you do NOT do that.  They told me to trust them on this one, so I am.  I am having Mother-In-Law form her tables (i.e group her fam/friends into 10’s) but Fiance and I will do the arrangement.  Yes, we will spread it out as fairly as possible, but sorry, if he doesn’t know who the people are, they will most likely be more toward the back.  The day is about you two and people YOU are close with personally. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
578 posts
Busy bee

I agree that she should be able to arrange which people sit together at a table, etc, but you and your Fiance should decide where those tables go. If you are close to those members, have them closer, if they are your MILs friends/people you don’t really know, they go farther back. 

The two of you should get to decide who is closest to you 🙂 your Mother-In-Law should understand that

Post # 11
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

why shouldn’t the grooms side get equal amount of “good” tables? I see nothing wrong with her doing her seating since she knows her guests best.

Post # 12
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yes, like PP said, I would only let her decide the people at each table (since you may not know them) but do not let her pick where the tables are. Obviously, some things you should consider would be not putting 80 year old Aunt Gladys near the very loud speakers but I think I would rather people who danced be near the dance floor rather than just people whom Mother-In-Law deemed are important.

The topic ‘Is allowing FMIL to choose a mistake?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors