(Closed) Is any amount of bugging the SO ok while waiting?!

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

He has the ring! How exciting! He probably doesn’t want you bringing it up because he wants the proposal to be a surprise. It’s his romantic moment and men are conditioned to think it has to be this special surprise moment. This is sweet even though it’s aggravating.

I would guess that he’s saying things to get you going because he’s excited about it and it’s on his mind too. Don’t take the bait. Trust him. Focus on other things in your life for now because soon you’ll have a wedding to plan! And get manicures 🙂

Post # 3
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee

I personally don’t understand making the woman you love wait once you have the ring… especially if it’s causing her to be upset. If I were a man with a significant other, no way would I tell her to not bring it up, assuming I actually had the ring and was going to propose.

Post # 4
Member
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

Why would he say something every 2-3 days to “get you going”? Something to make you anxious/worry? That doesn’t seem very nice. Can you tell him to please stop bringing it up, especially since he asked you to do the same? Say that it makes your anxiety and stress over the situation get a lot worse and you would appreciate it if he didn’t tease you about it, knowing how hard the wait is for you. 

What is he waiting for, anyway? Has he communicated a time frame to you? I think the fact that he has the ring is a great sign that means he’s really serious about proposing, but I don’t find it very thoughtful of him to mention it every few days to rile you up on purpose. 

Post # 5
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
lauralaura123 :  I heard a story once of a man who wanted to throw his girlfriend off the scent of him proposing and so told her that he just didn’t think he was the type of man to ever get married (even though he already had the ring). She of course cried and then broke up with him and he had to reverse gears very quickly and pull out the ring. What an idiot, right? Some men are just dense. This guy obviously was lacking in the emotional intelligence area. I don’t think they’re all that bad but a lot of them seem to get a little weird about the whole thing.

At least sdarrach25‘s BF has told her he has the ring and that a proposal is coming. Let him have his “moment’ wink 

Post # 6
Member
1188 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

He sounds like a jerk tbh. 

Post # 7
Member
3058 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

View original reply
sdarrach25 :  He loves wielding all the power in your relationship.  Seeing you bothered and all a quiver at the thought of him bestowing the prestigous *honor* of finally allowing you to be his wife….gross!

Post # 8
Member
10196 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
sdarrach25 :  

Excuse me?  You’re ‘getting better’?  Do you get a gold star for every day that you don’t mention engagement?

You are a grown woman with an absolute right to participate in planning her own future.  This hide-the-ring game playing is childish and unkind.

 

Post # 11
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
sdarrach25 :  I’ve found you need to have thick skin to be on WeddingBee unfortunately – it’s not always a supportive or understanding community. Don’t let it get to you. You’re going to be engaged soon and it’s going to be SUCH a happy and exciting time. You are not in a bad relationship because your BF bought a ring recently and hasn’t immediately proposed. He is not a jerk. You are not a twit for thinking about it or bringing it up and for trying not to. I can’t wait to say congrats once he puts his plan into action and I hope it’s everything you and he have imagined 🙂

Post # 13
Member
933 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I don’t understand why some people were being so harsh above. My boyfriend had the ring for three months before proposing because he knew of the perfect time/place he wanted to propose. Could be a similar situation for you! He could have an idea planned for a certain date and doesn’t want to give you clues that could spoil it.

Post # 14
Member
999 posts
Busy bee

I don’t understand why he would ask you to stop bringing it up, if he intended to “say something to get you going every 2-3 days”.

That’s a very mixed message.

What type of stuff does he say?

The topic ‘Is any amount of bugging the SO ok while waiting?!’ is closed to new replies.

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