Post # 1
I am by nature a nervous person. I get nervous over everything. It’s a bit ridiculous to be honest…I know I’m not nervous about the actual marriage. We’ve been together for more than 6 years, living together for 5, and have known each other for 9. He is my guy. I am 100% sure on that. But the idea of being the center of attention really makes me nervous. I’m scared I’m going to be judged (even though we are only having 40 people!) and that something is going to go wrong or look stupid. I just want to know I’m not alone. Does anyone else feel like this? What do you do to calm yourself down?
Post # 3
I am usually always nervous if I’m not at home or at work. It’s just how I am. I was a wreck the week before my wedding and even that morning. I felt like I was going to throw up. My husband and I did a first look and it helped tremendously. The walk down the aisle was still a little much for me but the second I got up there, next to my husband, I was in the moment and enjoyed every second of my wedding. I didn’t get nervous once at the reception. If you are a nervous person then there really isn’t much you can do to help it but breathe and try your best to relax. Good luck!
Post # 4
I was nervous about being the center of attention, but once I got up there, I was so excited to be with my then-FI that I didn’t really notice much else. It might help if you think that you are SHARING the attention with your SO instead of it being all eyes on you.
Post # 5
I’d be extremely nervous if FI and I weren’t having a DW.
Post # 6
My doctor is getting me xanax because I have the same nerves. I have extreme social anxiety, so the wedding is going to be insanely hard for me.
Post # 7
@RoseyBee: The 40 people at your wedding will be there to support you, not judge you! In preparing for my wedding it helped me to think about specific people attending that make me feel relaxed and happy. Rather than, “OMG NINETY PEOPLE STARRING AT ME!”
I was pretty nervous about the whole “center of attention” aspect but in reality, I didn’t end up feeling that way. I had read on A Practical Wedding about how it’s better to think about how you are the reason for the celebration, rather than the center of attention. That subtle difference was comforting. Of course our guests wanted to congratulate us, but it didn’t feel like we were putting on a show. We had plenty of quiet moments just the two of us, and times just to talk one on one with individual guests, just like any old gathering. I second the suggestion of doing a first look. It was special, but it also took the pressure off and made me feel like, “Oh yeah! I’m marrying HIM! Everything is going to be great!” We also took a cab by ourselves to the ceremony, which was very calming.
It’s important to remember that guests entertain themselves at weddings and socialize perfectly well on their own, so you don’t have to be “on” every second. Sure, I was nervous and shaky saying my vows, but I’m postive that no one judged me harshly for it – they were too busy wiping tears from their eyes. I’m sure things went wrong, but I never found out about anything and at this point, I don’t care about the details!
I’m sure you seen lots of wedding photos on here of other brides. Have you ever seen any that look stupid? I certainly haven’t! So quit that thought right now!
I was pretty skeptical, but I now believe that something special happens at one’s wedding, being surrounded by all those people that support you. Throughout the evening I felt waves of confidence and joy – totally unexpected, but so, so good. Try not to focus on the nerves (acknowledge nervousness, for sure. though because it’s totally natural!) and keep your thoughts positive. Your wedding is going to be wonderful.
Post # 8
@remijp: Omg, thank you! That actually made me feel A LOT better! 🙂
Post # 9
I’m nevervous too. I just look calm but when I remember all the details, I get nervous and overwhelmed. I’ve been having dreams about the wedding for months. Some not good. But I just always remember that in the end, I’m going to marry my best friend and that is all that matters!
Post # 10
@remijp: That is some of the best advice I’ve seen on this website. I’m in the same boat as OP, and just reading your response made me feel so much better. Thank you!
Post # 11
I wanted to add that we skipped a lot of traditional “events” just because the thought of doing them made us feel uncomfortable. No announcement/grand entrance before dinner, no garter weirdness, no bouquet toss, no “spotlight” dances. That really took the pressure off and I’m happy to say that MANY guests thanked us for not doing that awkward stuff. I did make a speech to thank our parents, but I practiced it for a while beforehand and it was easy to convince myself that I was just making a regular toast at dinner. So my message is: do only what you are comfortable with and your wedding will feel genuine and special.
Post # 12
@RoseyBee: I AM SO NERVOUS. hahaha. Seriously I have anxiety issues and I have a million fears and nerves for the big day. I wanted to elope, but got talked into a big wedding. I’m mostly looking forward to it at this point but there’s a lot to be sooo anxious about. Especially since our wedding is unusual and offbeat in many ways, so I feel like I have something to prove. (You can have a wonderful beautiful wedding without following tradition.) Also we’re paying for it all ourselves so I also feel like if if goes badly I’ve wasted a lot of money…