Post # 1
I realize shows like “Bridezillas” are not a good representation of the modern bride, but I have seen these attitudes on the boards and in real life and I don’t understand it. I know it’s “our day” but I can’t imagine being as demanding as some of the brides I’ve seen. The idea that everyone should put their lives on hold and just focus on my wedding is ridiculous to me. Examples, let’s see…
Like the idea that my bridal party exists to serve me. My bridesmaids are my sisters. My oldest sister had a baby born at 28 weeks who has been in the NICU for almost 2 months. My other sister (MOH) is attending a university a few hours away, and my youngest sister and bridesmaid just started her first year of high school. I understand that they have their own lives they need to think about. I am so grateful for every ounce of help they have given me. I just can’t imagine yelling at any of them for not doing something for me.
The idea that my vendors need to cater to my every whim. I forgot to call the bakery back and tell them for sure that I want to order the cake. I am so impressed and thankful that they called me back before they let someone else book on my day, but if they had it would have been my fault! The little saying, “Lack of planning on your part doesn’t constitute an emergency on my part.” yeah, that works the other way around too. I don’t expect anyone to cover for my mistakes or lack of planning.
The idea that our parents should pay for the whole thing. My fiance and I are making just as much money as my parents are, and my parents still have another child at home after I leave. Why should I be able to go blow my money while they live paycheck to paycheck? And yet, because they are good and loving parents, they insist on helping in every way they can. FI’s parents are better off financially and have basically furnished our entire apartment and paid for a lot of very nice aspects of the wedding we couldn’t have without them. I could cry, I am so thankful to both sets of parents for all the financial help they’ve given us. I can’t fathom demanding this of any of them.
*sigh* I feel like this post is coming out in an angry tone. I’m not angry, I’m just tired of seeing brides justify their bratty behavior with the fact that it’s “their day.”
Anyone else feel like this?
Post # 3
Yes! Thank you for this post. I feel as if the sense of entitlement now is greater for some reason. And it’s frustrating to see. I often find myself typing out an entire response to some of the posts here talking about many of the topics you mentioned above and deleting them b/c I don’t want to offend the entitled feeling bride.
Post # 4
I agree with you sister! I am trying to be so chill but when I do speak up for myself I am labeled bridezilla or demanding because of all the pyshco’s ahead of me! 🙂 I rarely ask anything of my bridal party but I have heard of a lot of friendships ending due to wedding dramz.
Post # 5
@swanks4tw: TOTALLY AGREE.
My Fiance and I planned our wedding for next year so that WE could save for OUR wedding and WE have been the ones handling things and not everyone else.
Post # 6
The “this is my day and I can do what I want” has led to lots of bad etiquette and decisions. Yeah its your day but could you be respectful and considerate at the same time?
Post # 7
Well to be honest I could easily see myself as being a Bridezilla candidate IF I didn’t have a wedding planner. It has nothing to do with feeling entitled and everything to do with my desire for perfection and need to control (things/details not people). EDIT: Bridezilla as in control freak, I’m not a mean person nor would I be a mean bride. 🙂
When it comes to weddings it is impossible to make any assumptions or classify any brides in a group together. Family dynamics, finances, personal and relationship issues make what seem to be the standard drama much more detailed requiring a closer look.
While I will agree that sometimes the complaints I see are somewhat “zilla” behaviour I can’t say that I am frustrated by it, especially as my situation while not drama free hasn’t been all that bad compared to others on the Bee.
Post # 9
I know! I couldn’t imagine being a mean bride. my planner said she wished all of her clients could be like me!
I had a similar experience: my husband accidentally cancelled the tuxedo order (it’s a long story, he thougt he was talking to a different store on the phone). anyway, when he called the tux shop a few days before the wedding to confirm an extra-large suit, they were like “whaaaaa?”. then they scrambled around to get our order back together the best they could — they had thrown out all of our notes and measurements! they even ended up upgrading our tuxes to a more expensive model because the ones we chose were no longer available. they did this for free!
anyway, the point is: it was our fault, but they were amazing. of course, if they had not come through for us like they did, then it would have been my husband – not the tux shop – who heard it from me!
Post # 10
I agree absolutely.
I was my best friend’s Maid/Matron of Honor and unfortunately she’s the type that’s “it’s my day and it’s my way”. and the even more unfortunate part is that her way also means “i want to please everyone” – so at the end, she couldn’t make any decision cuz everyone else wanted something and she would like this more or they would like this more…and I actually had to tell her that “yes it’s your day but if your way is not working and you can’t get everyone happy, you just have to make a decision” – yes, she’s an awkward “my way” girl. The more unfortunately thing is, cuz she was so strong about having it her way, her fiance couldn’t make any decision because it’s Her day and she wants other people to be happy…she ends up getting angry at him every other day and I was so worried that he would just walk out..it was frustrating and I’m glad it was over
Anyhow, but definitely I really dislike the bride-to-be’s that yell at their own frds and family…I was watching “Rich bride poor bride” and there was this girl that just made so frustrated even just watching her….she wanted to be THE princess and yelled at her own mother, went over budget by $10,000 and did not feel sorry that her fiance had to pay 75% of it..
Post # 11
@chx_101:went over budget by $10,000 and did not feel sorry that her fiance had to pay 75% of it.
Is it just me that finds it confusing when brides say their Fiance are paying for something without a thought? If you are married isnt it the same pool of money? In other words you are in essence paying for it too?
Post # 13
this part I don’t understand either when I read it.
This is a fantastic post.
Post # 14
Treejewel19 – that confuses me too!
Post # 16
some women do lose their damn minds and go off the deep end when they are getting married (bridezillas is a perfect example) what pisses me off is anytime a woman speaks her mind or stands ups for what she wants in her wedding people label her as a bridezilla. Its like a bride cant have her own opinion about her wedding