(Closed) Is anybody NOT completely open with FI? Bodily function wise?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Darling Husband and I try to keep some mystery between us.  I mean, an occasional burp or fart happens but that’s about it.  My sisters and their SOs thinks it’s so strange that I’ve never heard Darling Husband fart.  lol  *shrugs* 

Post # 33
Member
4024 posts
Honey bee

@lia22:  ++++1 We have code words for #2 from an inside joke a few years back, its “I’ve gotta go do something”. That’s how we know to not go into the bathroom. Lol, for him, everything else is fair game. For me, no toots or I get a “babe! come onnnnnn”. lol

Post # 34
Member
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

@SadMrsToBe:  I read the thread you are referring – I actually didn’t know what some of the words meant! To be honest, I was shocked that so many women are comfortable doing … things like that … in front of their lovers.

My Fiance is my best friend, life partner, and lover. With that, I like to leave a bit of mystery. Yes, they are human functions. Yes, they happen. Do they need to be announced to someone who finds me sexy and who I have an intense sexual relationship with? No, at least in my opinion.

I would never, ever do any of the things in that thread, lol. I don’t know any ladies personally who do either, so I don’t feel like I’m in the minority. I’m spending my life with my Fiance, but that doesn’t mean that certain things can’t remain private.

Post # 35
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@SadMrsToBe:  we fart and burp and all that jazz… we try to avoid peeing in front of each other, but sometimes a shower curtain is all that separates.  but no poops.  i’d would be totally comfortable doing it in front of Fiance, but he doesn’t need any memories in his head of me dropping a fresh one.  he’ll see it eventually i’m sure, but i don’t see any reason to accelerate that process.

Post # 36
Member
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I feel like ever since joining his family (as in living with them for a couple of years) my manners have completely disappeared. 

 

I was raised:

  • To never let anything out (fart, burp, etc)

  • Cover my mouth when yawning

  • Always apologize after sneezing/coughing (as in, “oh, excuse me”)

  • Never pick at shared plates at the dinner table (i.e. salads; get what’s in there and don’t “filter” through the food)

  • Never curse

  • Never laugh too loud/raise voice in general

  • Speak when spoken to.

 

These aren’t just the usual manners parents teach you when you’re growing up. No. I was 22 and my mother would give me a look if she  heard me accidentally fart on the way to the bathroom….and it was just me and her in the house. 

 

Forward to now, and FH and his family will fart at the dinner table if they feel like it,  yawn so loud it startles me, never have normal level voice conversations, etc etc….and i think it’s normal. Therefore, I’ve farted in front of FH (and FMIL) multiple times and am now making it a point to go back to my upbringing and be a bit “classier” if that makes sense.

 

My post is entirely too long.  Apologies. 

 

Post # 37
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee

Ew…as far as i’m concerned it’s the fastest way to ruin the romance – sharing all that stuff. I would never let my hubby catch me on the loo – even for a pee – i’d be mortified. He doesn’t even do a number 2 at home…he saves it for work!

I actually get pretty nervous when we are in a hotel or whatever and there’s no escape if I need to do it! I hate it!

My SIL couldn’t believe it and said it’s weird that we’ve never seen each other do all those things and that once we were married ‘all that would change’. Well, it’s been a year now and so far so good!! It’s nothing to do with being comfortable with one another: I don’t need to hear him fart and neither does he me! I’m grateful that he has manners and is gentleman enough not to do that in front of me.

Of course when I got really sick with a stomach bug over christmas he was wonderful and caring and looked after me. But the rest of the time: no thanks! Keep the mystery please!!!!!

Post # 38
Member
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@SadMrsToBe:  Nope – I’m the same way. 

I believe a little mystery is good in a relationship!

Post # 39
Member
8036 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@SadMrsToBe:  I don’t think it’s weird. I think it’s about having manners. Of course if you let the odd bodily function slip then that’s fine and you shouldn’t be too embarrassed, but to intentionally burp, fart, etc. just is rude IMO. We keep the bathroom door shut as well.

Post # 40
Member
10648 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

If the toilet is involved the door is closed.  If someone is showering though and they other person needs to go, well they need to go.  Otherwise we’re open.  If I hollar through the bathroom door for tea, Darling Husband knows to make it mint.

Post # 41
Member
5272 posts
Bee Keeper

I like to shut the door when going to the bathroom…there is no need to share those moments with anyone.

Post # 42
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Mimoza:  hahah WOW talk about two ends of the spectrum.  table belches and super obnoxious loudness were always frowned upon in my family.  profanity was a capitol offense, and the obligatory cough/sneeze “excuse me” was hardwired into me.

but my mother literally collapses into a fit of giggles when someone farts.  EVERY TIME. if it’s loud or if someone announces that they farted when it was silent i have actually seen her wet herself over this.  it’s pretty weird, but it helps smooth the tension bc she is otherwise pretty uptight about such things.

Post # 43
Member
1462 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@Gemstone:  +1 Hahaha. It’s all bound to come out eventually after years of marriage, right?

We’ve been together a little over a year and we have yet to fart or pee in front of each other.  He’s actually the one who’s more uncomfortable with being open about bodily functions.  I tell him that it’s ok to fart and he’s like noooo.  LOL.

Post # 44
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee

@Mrs.HMBucks:  my SO is the exact opposite! He has a fear of sitting down on a public toilet seat. I asked him what he thinks I do?!

Post # 45
Member
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@rawrrrrr: 

Haha that’s cute. At least she can laugh about something!!!

My parental grandmother (the strictest of all) would give me a death stare if I even tried to complain about gas/having to go to the bathroom. 

Post # 46
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I mean, I saw we’re comfortable pooping and farting in front of each other…but we don’t do it on PURPOSE, if only because those things SMELL and it’s just mean to make somebody smell that on purpose. But it happens and we don’t freak out or get embarrassed or try to hold it in (I make Darling Husband run immediately to the bathroom to get some spray if he farts because that shiz SMELLS). We live in a one bedroom apartment, if one of us is showering and the other has to poop, we’re not going to poop our pants waiting for the other to get out, it’s just a fact of life. I’m shocked when people say they have NEVER farted in front of their partner. I’m like just…how? I’ve farted at work and I’m only there like 40 hours a week, I’m home many more hours, lol. And burping…who the hell cares, my boss and I have burping contests LOL

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