Post # 212
@louisianablue: I think you also have to consider that some brides and grooms are at much different stages of their life.
It’s frustrating to me when the poster also says that they are just out of college, working at their first job and can’t imagine spending that much money. Of course if I got married at 24, I never would have had a wedding that cost over $35,000. I only made $30k! That amount would have been unimaginable to me. But my husband and I have been working for over ten years, have a great salary, substantial savings and no debt. We can afford to have a nicer wedding if we want to.
This is SO true. The amount of money spent on my way is SO SO SO far above what any of my friends spent on their wedding. Almost all of them got married right out of college, or even for some, while still in college. They were getting married at 22/23, etc. DH and I got married at 27 & 30, both of us having careers. It’s right there with ring size. Out of my friends, my ring is substantially larger – and is quite noticeable (even though it really not that big, and is right at “average”). But, it goes back to age and financial comfort….had we gotten married back when we were 22 (we’ve been together since high school, BTW) we would have definitely had to scrimp on the things. Everyone has been harping on us for YEARS about why were weren’t married yet. You know what? We had a rockin’ wedding in which we really (for the most part) go to have everything we wanted.
It’s definitely frustraiting to hear people say you should put that money elsewhere. We’ve been together over 12 years. We already own a great house. My DH has a job that keeps him travelling internationally most of the year, and affords me the ability to go to whereever he is, so we get to travel. Why shouldn’t we spend the money we want on our wedding?
To the person who said that no one remembers your wedding? I call BS. People are still talking about my wedding. And I certainly don’t mean that in a bragging way, but seriuosly, everyone is constantly reliving funny moments and just generally talking about what a great time they had, how awesome the food was, etc.
I’m supportive of everyone. Like I said in my last post, my brother’s upcoming 4k wedding is going to be just as much fun as my 40k wedding was. It fits THEM, their vision, and their budget. Even though they have been offered finacial help (as I was) THEY personally don’t see the point in spending that much money on a wedding. For me it was a fantastic time and I don’t regret it.
Post # 213
Isn’t it a rule not to attack any Bee’s wedding choices? That’s exactly what this post does. My wedding is going to total about $125K before honeymoon (another 10K), engagement ring (10K) and wedding rings (TBD). For one, things are expensive in my area. For two, it’s what my parents want to do and no they wouldn’t give me the money for anything else. And I want a nice day as do they. So don’t judge my wedding and I won’t judge yours.
Post # 214
I’m trying to stick under $5000 but I live in a pretty low cost area and I’m making a lot of things myself or having relatives do things for me.
Even though I can’t imagine spending as much money on a wedding as some people are able to, I think everyone has the right to spend what they want for their big day without being judged for how much or put down for how little they spent.
Post # 215
I was floored when I saw budget posts and saw the averages in that annual Modern Bride polll. At least I think it’s Modern Bride.
And then I planned my wedding in Southern California inviting 365 guest (we had about 265). My wedding was not fancy, platinum, whatever. We cut some corners and still spent over 30K. We could’ve saved probably about $5K on extras like less hours with the photographer, no photobooth, no mariachi, no party bus. But those extras meant something to us our, guests and wedding party. The mariachi was important culturally, the photos captured lots of what we didn’t see and we love them, the party bus was a nice convenience for the wedding party, and our guests had tons of fun in the photo booth.
I’ve always heard the the easiest way to cut the budget is by cutting the guest list. We did not want that — neither did our families — so we spent. I don’t regret it.
Post # 216
You’re confusing average and median. The average cost of wedding is pulled up by weddings that are on the high end. Or it might be pulled down by small backyard weddings.
Post # 217
Our wedding was $5500 (for 100 people). We had a budget of $5000, but my mother ended up going over a little (how, I don’t know; she loves decorating, which is where the extra 500 ended up lol). We live in Alabama, so things aren’t usually *as* expensive here. We had an entire meal, plus dessert, plus drinks, for ~1k…and we had enough leftovers afterward to eat on for a week (we didn’t though, of course lol).
I didn’t include the cost of the honeymoon in the total cost above, because my parents paid for the wedding, and DH and I are paying for our honeymoon (we’re going to St. Augustine for a week in June, because we didn’t want to go in December! Lol). I also didn’t include cost of the rings, which in total was about…$1300- for my ering, my band, and his band.
I didn’t know this thread had gotten heated-oops!
Post # 218
@shrubfish09: Just to the comment that nobody remembers the wedding (not talking about budget)…my husband and I definitely did. We went to a wedding where they served us trail mix, we had to pay for the alcohol and waited a long time to get sub par buffet food. There was a cheesy DJ. People showed up to the wedding in fishing gear.
It was very bad..and yes we still talk about it.
I know friends planning to spend 100K on their wedding, they earn half a million a year, and can definitely put away money and send their kids to college. At the end of the day what may floor you may be easy money to others. Why should you judge their budget if they are not judging yours?
Post # 219
I’m going to step in here and close this thread, it clearly violates our TOS:
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