(Closed) Is anyone else not really into the holidays?

posted 8 years ago in Holidays
Post # 3
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

I’m not much into spending time in large family groups.  I don’t mind if I spend time with one set of beings but when it gets much larger than that, I get uncomfortable and stressed out.  It’s just my character, I enjoy myself in small groups of 2-5 people.  Much larger, I get anxiety.

Post # 4
Member
4605 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m not much into the holidays, not because I don’t like being around my family, it’s just always awkward. Ever since my father passed away when I was 8 years old, our family has just sort of, fallen apart. My relationship with my dad’s brother and sister changed. My relationship with my cousins fell apart and they rarely speak to me now. We used to have holiday dinner with my dad’s side of the family and then with my mom’s, but now, my dad’s side of the family is suddenly too good for us. It’s been brought up that we aren’t technically even related anymore since my dad isn’t around.

The relationship with my mom’s side of the family has also been affected due to family disagreements amongst themselves. After my great grandmother died when I was 14, people stopped coming to our holiday functions, and eventually, we just stopped trying.

Now my holiday consists of spending time with my mom and stepdad, my brother, my grandparent’s and my step-brothers and their families. Now of course, I see my FI’s family at some point, but FI’s family schedule and mine usually clash, so we don’t get to spend much time with each other.

I wish things were like they used to be, but I’m comfortable with the way things are now. Most of my dad’s family treated me like the black sheep anyway, and very few people had anything to do with me even when my dad was still alive. And I can’t say that I really get along with one of my stepbrothers very well either. But, oh well.

The holidays bring up a lot of mixed emotions. I’m glad I get to spend time with my parents, but it also upsets me that my own family treats me and my family like outsiders.

Post # 6
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Not really into the holidays this year because my Darling Husband had and has some health problems and is not really working as much as he used to. I’m working really hard to make some extra income.  We are having a hard time financially so yeah I get depressed that I can afford to buy gifts and that we can’t afford to fly home this year. Darling Husband is trying to get me to not think about that part and try to think about all the other good stuff, like snow, music, being on our own for the holidays.

Post # 7
Member
4605 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Superstitions: My thoughts exactly. Just because someone passes doesn’t mean your relation dies with them. Your comment didn’t make me feel uncomfortable : ) I feel the same way you do about it.

I’ve always been really shy, and so my family has taken this to mean that I’m stuck up, which I’m not. I’m just not talkative. When I did try to talk to anyone, they would ignore me. So, I just kind of sat there, looking awkward and talking to my mom or stepdad. My cousin and little brother have always been the center of attention.

I don’t mind the black sheep status so much anymore. Nosy people stay out of my business, which I’m fine with.

Post # 8
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am kind of the same way. I really like spending time with my family and really like spending time with some of DH’s fam (some of them are crazy uptight.) However, I am not really into the holiday part of it. I mean, I like the idea of getting paid days off from work, but I really hate the obligation to buy everyone presents and spend so much money on things. I even feel guilty when people spend money on me because then I feel obligated to buy them something equally as nice or better. And Darling Husband has a huge fam with lots of siblings, nephews, step siblings, etc. That is going to cost me mucho dollars that I just don’t have right now. But if I don’t buy them anything, I’ll look like a jerk. I am all about the idea of making people gifts, but his family members are all older and a bit more well off. We are young and married and poor. I don’t want to make them all something and have it look pathetic next to what they buy us.

The financial side has really put a damper on the holidays for me for the past little while. Also, I used to love Christmas music, but hearing it playing in every freaking store the day after Halloween really burns me out. 

I’m kind of a scrooge I guess….

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