- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2009
I’m really curious, because I sometimes feel that I’m the only person who feels this way. Besides, I can’t really post this on Facebook, because I have a lot of family on there, and I know it would hurt feelings, and I would get a lot of awkward posts about it.
I’ll admit that I’m not much of a family person. I’m one of those people who rarely calls her family, not because I don’t love them, but because I really like my space. If I get a lot of calls or texts, I seriously feel smothered. I absolutely love having independence.
I haven’t been excited about the holidays for a long time. I haven’t voluntarily listened to Christmas music at all this year. The Christmas songs I like are ones that stations honestly don’t play. If it gives you an idea of what I’m talking about, my favorite Christmas song is “Riu Chiu” by The Monkees.
Next week, I’m going to be seeing some of my family for Thanksgiving, and I’m not that excited about it. I’m thinking about how awkward it’s going to be. I’m not looking forward to the traveling, and I feel like I’ll be sitting around not having anything to add to the conversation, or my husband and I will be spending the entire time taking care of our daughter. Now, I know my mother would be more than happy to have our daughter all to herself the entire time, but I feel like she’s forgotten how difficult it is to travel with a baby. My brother and SIL don’t have children yet, so again, they really have no idea what it’s like. Half of our to-do list for traveling are things that we need to bring for our daughter, even more than half probably. Our daughter is five months old, by the way. Plus, it’s a five hour trip, and that isn’t counting if we have to make stops.
I half-think it’s because last Thanksgiving and Christmas were very awkward for me. I really didn’t feel too welcome at my in-laws’ Thanksgiving event, and I’m hoping that what happened last Christmas doesn’t repeat itself this year. Basically, I passed out during the prayer, and I spent the entire first part of the day in a daze. I’m kind of afraid that it’s going to come up in conversation.
And this isn’t to bash anyone that loves the holidays, because I can get why people would love them. I personally love Christmas only because I both give and get presents. I’m really hoping we’re able to afford the gifts that we want to give this year. I really don’t want to settle for just anything. My love language is gift giving if that makes it any better.
I will say though that the best part of the holidays last year was Black Friday, though it was also very surreal, because I had just found out that morning that I was pregnant.