(Closed) is anyone else scared to have a baby because of post-preg body changes?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 62
Member
534 posts
Busy bee

Wow. It’s so rude and ridiculous to act like potentially not feeling attractive after having a child should be a mild concern. Some women are downright depressed because of what pregnancy can do to your body. Tell the depressed women they shouldn’t care about their shattered self esteem. 

The truth is you have no idea what shape your body will be in after you have a baby. Some women have horrible tears and other medical issues that cause lasting damage. It’s not like the only thing to worry about “is a few stretchmarks”. 

Go to this website and hear from women firsthand. There are lots of pictures and lots of stories.

http://theshapeofamother.com

 

Post # 63
Member
1776 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think a lot of people have these concerns.  Luckily, things nowadays are so high tech, if you are truly unhappy with your happy, there are changes you can make!  I mean yes, you should be healthy and work to get where you want, but say you have extra skin or whatever, you can get a tummy tuck! Not saying this is a be all end all, but at least there are extra things to help that wouldn’t have been available many years ago!

Post # 64
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@kmaemu:  I’m terrified of that and the entire pregnancy/giving birth thing too. I realize it’s rather selfish, but maybe kids just aren’t for me then. I would bet a lot of women worry about this though To some extent!

Post # 65
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I find it deeply disturbing how so many women are willing to shame other women as potentially unfit mothers when, through their concerns, these other women call our attention to the fact that pregnancy can change (and, yes, permanently damage) women’s bodies.

I feel like people who really respected the power of pregnancy would be the FIRST to admit that pregnancy is really hard on the body — and that pregnancy CAN lead to serious and sometimes irreversible injuries (like, say, uterine rupture or uterine prolapse; or, on the less severe side, permanent changes like incontinence, sciatica, joint pain, or embiggened feet, hips, and noses–cosmetic issues, you might say, but still significant changes that DO matter and should be acknowledged and recognized).

Most intelligent people, before making a big decision, consider the risks and consequences of said decision. Some here seem to imply that the mere act of pondering and weighing these possible risks disqualifies a woman from making a good mother. To them I say, ignorance and blind optimism are also truly unfortunate qualities in a mother — so good luck to your kids!

Post # 66
Member
5473 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

You have a lot of responses already, some helpful, some not.

 

 

 

I did a marathon the year before I got pregnant with DD.  Suffice it to say I was active, healthy, and very fit.

 

I gained 50lbs with the pregnancy.

 

I am over 7 months post partum and STILL have about 20lbs to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight.

 

I have extra weight, wider hips, stretch marks, and boobs that have been through breastfeeding and pumping.  I have under-eye circles from lack of sleep.  I have lost some muscle tone from not working out as hard as I used to.

 

It is hard to see a reflection in the mirror I barely recognize, but I can tell you that I have an incredible respect for my body that I didn’t have even after running 26.2 miles.  I created, grew, and birthed an entire human being.  I housed a miracle in this humble temple of a body.  That is pretty badass.

 

I have a lot of work to do, more than I thought I would.  I am in the process of weaning from pumping so if I cut calories and lose ounces, so be it.  I am healthy, but I sometimes have a hard time with my new shape.  My husband though, well he is definitely not upset about the changes- he loves, LOVES, the bigger boobs!

 

I will either lose the baby weight and get back to what I was before, or I won’t.  And honestly, I’m ok either way as long as I’m healthy and eat well and set a good example for my daughter.  Apprehension and fear are normal, it’s just what you DO with those emotions that matter 🙂

 

Post # 67
Member
7367 posts
Busy Beekeeper

View original reply
@calendula:  +1 anyone who wants to pretend like they are all mother earth like, and dont have some level of apprehension regarding this topic, I call bullshit.

Post # 68
Member
2836 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@kmaemu:  Maybe this will make some of you feel better?

I had my son five years ago.  I was about 115, 5’5″- slender but not too small.  I looked great in everything, could eat anything I wanted to and didn’t have to hit the gym (although I did have a pretty active job).

 

I gained 60(!!) pounds during my pregnancy- which is almost confusing because 1) I only made it to 33 weeks to the day before DS was born) and 2) I walked on the treadmill for a minimum of 20 minutes a day, in addition to other “normal” day to day activity.  I didn’t totally go nuts eating, either.  I also live near the Mall of America- and I’d go shopping for baby semi-often– and you get a lot of walking in when you’re there!

After my son was born, I briefly shrank down to maybe 135.  And now I waiver between 140-158. I don’t look huge, but I’m definitely not a size 0 anymore.  My hips permanently widened.  I didn’t get stretch marks on my tummy, but got a few small ones on my thighs.  

 

When I realized my son’s father and I weren’t going to stay together, I accepted the thought that no one was ever going to like find me attractive LOL

But I have a husband who loves me dearly and thinks I’m beautiful.  I can’t lie- I still occasioanlly struggle with the fact that I used to be so small and my body is SO different now. But very slowly, I’ve started to accept it.  

Some people bounce back to pre-pregnancy body, some never do.  If your husband loves you, he’s going to think you’re beautiful no matter- and if you want kids, it’s totally worth it, IMO.

Post # 69
Member
7643 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Having apprehension or fear of losing your once youthful body is normal, but not to the point where you fear if your husband will still love you afterwards. (and honestly, you’re both going to get old and lose that youthfulness at some point unless you have a bajillion surgeries to keep up with age)

Honestly, I am a bigger girl, and I worked my ass off (literally) for months trying to become healthy, and I was halfway to my goal weight when I ended up pregnant.

My belly is now way bigger than it was when I was heavy, my boobs are huge, and I have a lot of changes going on. However, it is for the good of my baby. It also doesn’t mean that I just become a big, fat slob after baby is born.

All these emotions you are feeling are going to come true if YOU let them. You body may never be the same, but it won’t be this horrific thing unless you don’t work at it. If all you do is sit around all day, eating and not watching what you put in your mouth or exercise, then yes, you will probably turn out the way you’re thinking.

Think healthy…not skinny. Set that good example for your child. In the meantime, work out, eat right, and continue to do so throughout pregnancy so you will be ready to tackle the weight and your body after.

Post # 70
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

View original reply
@Ballet513:  Hello, happy Monday =))

To answer your question; I am not sure why weight was never a discussion in your sister’s pregnancy. Obviously I wasn’t there, and I don’t know her history and profile. What I can tell you is my care is overseen by an M.D., FACOG who’s specialty is multipes. In fact, she delivered 25 sets in the last year. Her recommendation for me, was 25 lbs per baby. I’m also a nurse, and do not find 50 lbs for twins to be uncommon.

You may know, that twins are often deleivered before 37 weeks, and they are often small. Hence the importance of maintaining their weight in a healthy manner, under a qualified doctors advice. 

Keep in mind, no two women are the same, no two pregnancies, thus, prenatal care is often tailored to individuals, not the mass of women pregnant with twins. I will say that I certainly don’t find the idea of ganing 50 lbs to be easy, in fact, i think it would be quite hard, and it’s certainly not something I”m looking forward to, lol. I am sure that if I come up a bit short, it will be fine. I personally would feel anything less than 35 lbs wouldn’t be sufficient in my case…..while trying to remember I’m not the doctor. =) 

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/twin-pregnancy/PR00120/NSECTIONGROUP=2

Here’s a fun, but NOT as scientifically reliable link, lol…that includes celebrity quotes on weight gain during pregnancy, most of which are singles, most of which are 40+lbs.  These women’s bodies weren’t asthetically destroyed….phew! lol. Wait….I dont’ have a personal trainer, so I digress..I don’t buy into eating for two, or three, but I do think women should listen to their doctors and give themselves a break..

http://www.celebuzz.com/photos/pregnant-celebs-how-much-weight-did-they-gain/kate-hudson-and-chris-robinson/

Post # 71
Member
1113 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@kmaemu:  terrified! I always have had issues with my appearance and a not-so-healthy relationship with my body image, now im worried that I won’t feel like myself, or comfortable in my body if I have a baby… 

View original reply
@Chrissy26:  You look incredible, you give me hope that I can still look how I will be comfortable if I have a child! Congrats on your babies!

Post # 72
Member
3075 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

You’re not alone, I also worry but I worry if I’ll get post partum depression since I’ve struggled with both depression and weight issues.

Post # 73
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

View original reply
@mamadingdong:  Someone clearly left a monster size fresh turd in your breakfast this morning. I can’t think of any other reason why you’d write such a bitchy and uneducated post. Flagged.

 

Post # 74
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m worried, but I probably shouldn’t be. My sister could be a celebrity with her post partum (twice now) tiny figure. She’s just not an emotional eater like I am. I’ve always been overweight so looking avg takes a lot of work.

Post # 75
Member
4494 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I am scared about it. We aren’t TTC yet, but weight gain is an apprehension I have about pregnancy, though it isn’t strong enough to keep me from having a baby. I feel like its a common worry and I can’t imagine someone not caring about it at all (unless they just don’t take care of themselves in general so maybe it makes no difference to them…). I’ve heard that the fitter you are when you get pregnant, the easier it is to get back in shape so my goal is to be at my best when we start TTC.

Everyone is different though. My mother was 105 lbs when she got pregnant with me and the day after delivery she was 95 lbs! She gained the recommended amount and I was healthy and a normal weight, but it was like all fluid.

Post # 76
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i know athletic women look like they never had a baby.  a woman in my office is a marathon runner.  she has had 5 child, all 2 years apart and is still so thin.

2 other women i know are petite and could pass for teenage boys in their body style.  they were both only baby.  it took a few months but they were back to their old bodies in no time.

don’t worry. 

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