- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
I’m sorry to have to write all of this, but please don’t hate.
I’ve got to get this off my chest. It has been bugging me for a while, and lately this bugging has turned into something bigger, something much worse. Let’s call it, severe rash like irritation.
Like all the other women out there who would rather look at crafts than go through an epic fail to create them, I go on Pinterest. Often. Ok often isn’t the right word. I go on Pinterest like it’s going out of style. In addition to this, I am getting married in July! Woohoo! Yay for looking at wedding stuff on Pinterest! There is just one small itsey bitsey problem. This problem has infected the entire Wedding and Events category of my beloved site.
Yes, yes I know. You’re thinking what? Those weddings are beautiful; they’re totally in style, everyone’s doing them! This is my point exactly. Everyone on the freaking face of the earth who is getting married in 2012 or maybe 2013 is doing a vintage-chic wedding.
I must admit, at first I was all like oh wow how cute! Then I was like I wonder what people will think of me and then I was like ULTRA GAAAYYYYY.
Everywhere I look there is a pastel coloured banner, a ring bearer carrying a sign to notify guests that the bride is about to march down the aisle, even though I’m pretty sure they all knew it was coming, or those stupid pictures of just the bride and groom holding something. And I mean they’re holding something, like an apple (à la Twilight), in their open palms and they get a shot of that. Just the hands and the apple, nothing else. No faces no nothing. Hands and an apple. I’m sorry, but when your kids look at these photos one day they’re going to look back up at you with a look of pure confusion. And then you’re going to have to explain to them why you took this photo, and then in the process of explaining it’s going to dawn on you how moronic the photo was in the first place, and so begins the downward spiral of shame.
I’m sorry if I sound like love hating bitch machine, but this is just my opinion and I’m entitled to mine just as those weird vintage brides are entitled to theirs. Although, mark my words, vintage ladies, your wedding is not in the slightest bit a timeless wedding. You are using décor and color schemes and even dresses that are so 2012. People will look back, heck YOU will look back at your wedding and know exactly what time you held it in. People who don’t know you will see that you had each letter of the words LOVE framed above you at your ceremony. It’s a wedding, for crying out loud, love and the like just sort come with the package.
This brings me to my main point of why I can’t stand vintage-chic weddings. To go vintage chic is to go slightly against tradition and the norm because you want to be “unique”. So what do these people do, they do what everyone else is doing. You are not unique because you want quail eggs in glass containers speckled all around your reception. It’s a specific theme you’re trying to pull off and so are the millions of other brides getting hitched in 2012. So really, you’re breaking from tradition to do a different tradition that specifically tells you to go against tradition. I know, it’s confusing.
There, I’m done. I said what I felt and I feel good about my predictions. Vintage is the new poofy shoulder wedding gowns of the 80’s. Sorry to burst your bubble people, but it’s getting old fast.