(Closed) Is anyone else throwing a etiquette rule out the window?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4518 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t think what you’re doing goes against “the rules.” You’re actually applying a rule consistently — no kids 5 and under. What would be questionable is if you said, “No kids 5 and under, except for my favorite niece and nephew, and my best friend’s kid, but otherwise… no kids under 5!”  

Post # 4
Member
9118 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

My husband and I laughed when people told us we had to do things a particular way. Etiquette means nothing to us. When we proof’d our invitations, the assistant given to us changed some things around for “Etiquette”, and we asked for them to be changed back. We liked it that way for a reason.

Post # 5
Member
10589 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I used address labels, and didn’t have stamped envelopes or vouchers (I didn’t know they existed) for the international guessts.

Post # 6
Member
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’m ignoring the “rules” in so many ways.  Most of the people I know won’t care if I hand write their addresses or use a lable, or if I don’t have the proper number of envelopes and inserts inside of my invites.  If anyone is super offended by something so silly, then honestly they don’t need to come.  I don’t think they’re the kind of person I’m really going to miss.

Post # 8
Member
1696 posts
Bumble bee

Is anyone else throwing a etiquette rule out the window?

Oh, yes, trust me: many Bees are omitting good etiquette. Many of them, without even knowing what the actual etiquette is, and most of the remainder without considering what the consequences may be. And on the other hand, a great many of those who think they are throwing etiquette out the window are in fact just being a little unconventional and not offending against etiquette at all.

Take you, for example. Etiquette actually says, that a hostess is responsible for selecting her guest list and that she should select guests who will be compatible and enjoy each other’s company, subject only to the constraint that if married or engaged persons are invited (or those who “by habit and repute” must be assumed to be married or engaged) then she must invite both members of the couple. If you in your good judgement as hostess think that  younger children will be incompatible with your other guests and result in guests’ not enjoying each other’s company, then you and etiquette are not at odds.

Post # 9
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

@AB Bride:  Haha, I’m going to print addresses on my envelopes…my handwriting is horrendous and we can’t afford a calligrapher!

Post # 10
Member
3765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I used clear labels on my invites…

I know. I’m a terrible person and everyone hated me for it and went on and on about it at my wedding Saturday. -___-

Post # 11
Member
7437 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

We didn’t have invitations. We just sent out texts/emails with a link to our wedding website where they could RSVP. We had to move our wedding up to 2/23/13 at the end of March, so there wasn’t any time to send out actual invitations anyway.

Post # 12
Member
3230 posts
Sugar bee

We are following some rules and not following the others. Examples of not “rule following”:

-My father is not walking me down the aisle or giving me away.

-We are not having a “first look” or waiting until the wedding ceremony to see each other. We are getting all our pictures done before the ceremony so we can spend time with our families.

-I am not planning the vast majority of our wedding, my FI’s mother will be.

-I am not going to have a wedding party. Just me and my fiance.

-There will be no dancing at my wedding and no friends. Just family.

I love it when some Bees scream “ETIQUETTE!” at me when they aren’t even following all the rules.

Post # 13
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

its my party … and i do what i want to! 😛

 

Post # 14
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

I might put something really against the rules in my invitation, but I am not even going to post it here because of all the flack I will get–if you don’t know my family, you won’t understand why it’s necessary. (I will say that it has nothing to do with gifts/registries/cash, though!)

 

Post # 15
Member
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Hah yeah. I uninvited 75 people from our wedding. We went from a traditional wedding to a small wedding with 25 (including us and photographer) guests that are all immediate family. I also told three of my five bridesmaids to not come since the wedding was so far away and so small. I kept my two MOHs. We are throwing two smaller receptions at our parent’s houses afterwards (in different states) so those three “bridesmaids” can attend that. The other two bridesmaids (MOHs) wouldn’t be able to attend either of the two “receptions” so they will be at the actual wedding.  I just realized how confusing it all sounds.

Anyways, people were telling me on here to cancel my wedding date (lose thousands in deposits),  and plan a whole new wedding with only 25 ppl so nobody got offended. Well, the reason we had to downsize was because of the budget and family members that said they would help pay but then backed out. Yeah, let me just throw away all of my deposits. And for the bridesmaids, I no longer speak to one of them but I realized now we weren’t really friends anymore when I asked her to begin with. The other two are completely understanding of the situation.  

Post # 16
Member
10589 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

@prisigtr:  I don’t know why the address labels are even considered to be an etiquette ‘rule’.  That’s why I broke that one!  The post office has rules for addresses, I just went with that.

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