(Closed) Is anyone else's husband a Scrooge. :(

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My husband and his ex-wife never celebrated anything.  Birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc, nothing…  When he talked about it with me, it sounded like such a bleak existance where every day is just like the next and nothing is special or extra.  I’m not the most holiday-celebrating person myself, but it sounded really like a downer.  I think while he was totally used to that lifestyle, I do think that underneath he wanted that to change it up some.

When we met and started dating, we started celebrating holidays together because I like to, and I think he started to have some fun with it.  Carving pumpkins at Halloween, putting up a Christmas tree.  While he isn’t super into it, he does it because I like to.  And I think he ends up liking it as well.

I don’t go super crazy with a ton of things I want him to do for holidays – we both put up and decorated the tree, but I put out all my other decorations myself without him and did most of the wrapping of gifts and such,  At Halloween we carved pumpkins together, but we went out to dinner so we didn’t have to answer the door and hand out candy.  We go to visit his family at Thanksgiving and he likes that.

 

Post # 18
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Lol depends on the holiday…. I’m the Christmas Scrooge. Working retail destroyed me….all it is is people rushing around buying people they hardly know tacky gifts they can’t afford so the person can return them the next day. 

Darling Husband doesn’t care about valentines day at all. But he knows I’d end him if we didn’t do anything. So he has fun with it. Of course to him all he cares about is good food and getting drunk. A happy wife is just a bonus. Lol

Post # 19
Member
1639 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Lol, my husband is SUCH a scrooge. He says he isn’t but lord he is. I have to drag him out and force him into the Halloween Store for a costume. Whenever I ask him what he wants to be he’s like “Whatever you want, dear.” You don’t have ANY idea? FFS you used to be in theater and use your imagination! You read fantasy books and play games and you don’t have any idea what you think would be a cool costume? WHAAAAAAAAAAT? I get giddy and excited and, “Look at those decorations I love those!” and he’s all, *shrug* “Whatever you say, dear.” (Halloween is my favorite, so this is especially saddening to me).

Christmas: I had to drag him out and force him to help me pick out a tree. Again, “Whatever makes you happy, dear.” (Noticing a trend here? UGH!) He wouldn’t help me decorate it because his parents always had a huge tree (and in his defense, they have cathedral ceilings and they really do have like 20 foot trees at their house) and they forced him to spend all day decorating it as a kid and he hated it. He doesn’t like decorations because he doesn’t see the point of Christmas. If I ask, “How does the tree look?” he’s like, “As long as you like it.” Although, if you ask him, he’ll tell you he helped me decorate it (he hung up like 5 ornaments after I sat on the floor and pouted while putting the hooks through the ornaments to make them ready to hang).

He says he’s not a scrooge but he TOTALLY IS. It makes me so upset sometimes!! I want him to be excited with me! But he’s just indifferent. πŸ˜› 

ETA: This year was our first normal sized, real Christmas tree. Last year we had a table top one because we traveled to his parents for Christmas, and the year before that we celebrated apart with our respective families (his parents are on the west coast).

Post # 20
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Heatherliak:  My Fiance is like that sometimes about the holidays too and it drives me nuts. He sometimes doesn’t mind them and other times he complains. He doesn’t believe in buying flowers for Valentines, Anniversary, ect because he says they die anyways and that’s wasting money. He did get them twice for me and we’ve been together for almost 9 years. He can be sweet every once in a while, but he can also be a cold person as well.

He had a pretty rough childhood and I think that’s why he’s like that.  Our childhoods were totally opposite. His parents were together for a few years after he was born then they broke up. They never got married. My parents are still married. He was never really shown he was loved or that they really cared. His dad never said he loved him or hugged him. His mom would tell him I love you when they got off the phone when we started dating. I don’t know if she did before that and she never hugged him. My parents hugged me and told me they loved me every day. I sometimes feel really bad that his childhood was like that. He sometimes talks about it and gets upset.

Post # 21
Member
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My husband isn’t a scrooge, he’s just less into holiday spirit than I am. πŸ™‚

Post # 22
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Uggggh, yeeeeees. Prior to this year my husband actually seemed to like playing Santa at Christmas and surprising people with gifts, but this year we were still paying off our wedding and at first he said he didn’t want to do Christmas at all. I was bummed and so was my family, because we love getting together and exchanging gifts and all that. Once I finally persuaded him that it would be OK if we just set a much more limited budget than normal for giving our families gifts, he made a fuss over not wanting to get my family anything because they didn’t give me a shower gift or us a wedding gift. Um, that’s technically true, but my mom and dad helped contribute to the wedding costs so I consider that gift enough! I certainly didn’t expect anything above and beyond that. I really hope the Scroogey attitude does not persist in the years to come, because it sort of took the fun out of the holidays this year. 

Post # 23
Member
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Heatherliak:  I think Valentine’s Day is stupid, too. I also think xmas is entirely commercial. That doesn’t mean I’m a scrooge! I still do nice things for my husband but when I feel like it, not when Hallmark says I must. Maybe your husband is the same way? 

Post # 25
Member
2238 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Fiance doesn’t HATE holidays, he just doesn’t really care about them. His family really isn’t into giving gifts for ANY occasion (he didn’t get birthday presents after he turned like 11 or so) AND they’re Jewish to boot, so they don’t do the whole Christmas thing anyway. 

My family is the exact opposite. My mom still gets my sisters and me Valentine’s Day gifts, Easter baskets, etc. So it has definitely been an adjustment for both of us. He’s getting better at remembering birthdays, holidays, etc., but he still thinks I go overboard a lot. I have, on occasion, accused him of being a Scrooge.

I think that I’ve shown him that gift giving is important (and not for materialistic reasons) and he definitely shows more of an intrerest in celebrating the holidays overall than he did when we started dating. And, in the grand scheme of things, if this is one of our biggest mismatches, I think we’re pretty darn lucky.

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