Is anyone else’s wedding making them depressed?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3285 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Aw, I am sorry you’re feeling down about your wedding!  I am glad that you have stepped back and looked at everything, plus your journal will definitely help.  I know it’s hard to think about it, but just remember that it’s going to be a great day, but it’s just a day.  Don’t stress too much, everything will be beautiful =)

Post # 4
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I am not sure about others, but my wedding planning has definitely taken a negative toll on me.  Going into it, I had no idea that the wedding would cause so much trouble.  I totally understand how you feel.  I do at least 20 vendor comparisons for each category trying to find the best deal/quality/value!  It’s SO MUCH work and I feel like I am crazy but weddings are so expensive!

Other stuff that came up are family drama from both my side and my FI’s side.  I had melt down a few times already because of this wedding, but I am learning to cope with it better (though my stomach suffered due to stress and I was just in the hospital yesterday to make sure my stomach is ok lol)  If I had known if this were how the wedding planning would be, I’d have totally not be throwing a wedding and elope. I’d probably yearn for a wedding but with all this disaccord with family, lack of support, combined with the huge cost, it’s totally not worth it!!!

We are too much into the wedding so I am just trying to do the best I can for now.  I am forgoing a lot of the elements that I wanted because I don’t even want to deal with it anymore.  Sad, I know, but that’s what happened to me.  The difference that I see with your any my situation is that no one else is helping us with wedding planning, and I do most of the planning work compared to my Fiance.

GL and keep your chin up!  That’s what I am trying to do. 🙂

Post # 5
Member
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I am with you! Its taking a toll on me as well. I feel like I am not the same person. I feel sad and so stressed. I need a vacation and a break from planning for a week or two. I feel like i eat drink sleep wedding stuff.

Post # 6
Member
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Maybe a spa day will help 🙂

Post # 7
Member
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I get you.  We’re bleeding money, it causes drama, I personally think planning sorta sucks, a lot of my family can’t make it, etc.  I know the day itself will be great, but, honestly, I wish we had just eloped.

Post # 8
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I am feeling the same way about the wedding planning process–kind of glad to hear that I’m not the only one. (sorry that your depression just made me feel better) It’s to the point where I have to go a long time in between serious planning sessions because it always feels like we never have enough $$ to do what we want (we are paying for most of our wedding too) and there is always some sort of family drama sprinkled in. It feels like I’m running a marathon lately. *sigh*

I think I might steal your journal idea for lent–cheers to being back to our old selves!  🙂

Post # 9
Member
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

hi date twin! I totally understand how you’re feeling – I’m sure a lot of women do! I never knew wedding planning was going to be so stressful and dramatic. I loved my Future In-Laws before the wedding planning and now my Future Mother-In-Law is driving me a little crazy from time to time! I, too, worry about money and worry about a lot of other things! I feel like there is so much pressure to have a beatiful wedding and have it be perfect and it’s a lot to live up to! I think this is why the honeymoon was created…..so we can have a week of doing nothing and thinking of nothing and enjoying ourselves right after all of the stressful times!!! The wedding is 6 months away so hopefully the time will go quickly and i’m sure you will have a beautiful day and everything will turn out fine!

Post # 10
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

May I just add into the mix that although my Fiance is engaged in this whole wedding planning thing, he doesn’t appear to be nearly as dumpy as I am these days. Maybe I should take a page from him…

Post # 11
Member
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m so sorry you’re having a tough time…I think I understand how you’re feeling. I am a very laid back person as well, and never thought I’d go into a frenzy over napking colors, floral arrangements, and invitation fonts, but I am! My biggest thing has been the interpersonal drama that has been cropping up surrounding wedding decisions. My in laws and my parents have always been good friends, but they aren’t getting along…my parents are insisting on helping pay but guilt trip me about it all the time…my mother and I never got along before, but having to work together on the planning brings that out all the more….and the list goes on.

I think planning weddings is inevitably stressful and joyful at the same time. I guess we have to figure out how to focus on the joy and get through the stress in one piece! I think journaling like you suggested could really help – and leaning on your Fiance is obviously a big one, too. Once the day comes, letting go of the stress and soaking in every moment will make it all worth it (or so says my Matron of Honor, my primary counselor for all things wedding-stress!)

Good luck, hang in there, and definitely take advantage of the ‘bee…you’ve got lots of ladies here going through it too that you can vent to!

Post # 12
Member
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Giiiiiiiirl! I so, so feel you on this! I’m feeling completely overwhelmed and stressed out to the point where I can’t bear to pick up the phone to call vendors! it’s just too overwhelming. I can’t bear to do anything! And I know I need to get it together and just DO it so it’ll be done but sigh.

Post # 13
Member
984 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I know exactly what you mean. I have been having an incredibly hard time with depression and anxiety and the wedding. It has taken a toll on me. I just keep wondering if all the money, time, effort will be worth it. I have on more than one occasion asked Fiance if we could just elope because the marriage is so much more important to me than the wedding. Luckily, he knows that one day I would regret not having the wedding and he has been really supportive and helpful throughout this whole process. I am lucky that we have a lot of help but a lot of pressure and decisions still fall on me. My Fiance and I decided to take a weekly breakfast to create a project timeline and check list which will go out and discuss and figure out what is left to do each week. We’ve also decided to try to do something fun and non-wedding related once a week. I am really hoping that getting really organized and we take a little timeout once a week that it’ll help me to not feel so anxious and depressed.

Post # 15
Member
1455 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

My wedding was a big fun normal wedding and then Future Mother-In-Law decided to not give us the thousands she promised. I had to cancel the reception, plan a party for a few months later in NJ (I live in IN, where all FI’s family is) and I only have 14 guests coming from my side. (Over 100 invited). YES it makes me depressed! (You can read about it in more detail in my blog, link in my profile.)

I too am like, I just can’t wait to be MARRIED! I feel guilty wanting to  “get it over with” but it is a big drama-filled-stress-ball.

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