(Closed) Is anyone here happy with being plus sized?

posted 4 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 16
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee

This may not make you feel better but I am from the Caribbean. I am currently a size 6 but would LOVEEEE to be a size 12. In our culture, that is the size to envy…omg.

Post # 17
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

KC-2722:  Well that’s sort of why I was asking. Is it about motivation? I was just unclear on why the question was posed. I mean, I went from 180lbs to like 110 so I definitely understand the struggle and difficulty… But if I’d told myself I liked myself as I was, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have persisted actually so… I think I had a completely different experience than you! haha.

I just am looking for clarification of motive of the post. She may just be curious, even; I  honestly don’t know and can only assume… So I was just trying to find out for sure ^_^ 

Post # 19
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I echo the PP who pointed out that you can be uncomfortable/unhappy at any size.  I kind of laugh when I hear the stuff about “learning to love yourself”!  Sure, I want to be able to, but I have no genuine idea how that’s “learned”!

My story–I’ve always felt bigger than my friends and I really do have broader shoulders/hips/big breasts.  So I have sort of felt uncomfortable since puberty! –even at healthy weights and my skinniest times.

Now-I’m definitely plus-sized (1x US size for most things).  But weirdly enough, I’m actually more okay now with who I am and my body as it is!  I don’t judge myself or others like I used to for their weight (yes, even as a bigger girl, I’d still do that–judge others based on their size, small or large.  Pretty ridiculous).  I would actually like to lose some weight now because I went back to school besides working, and I’ve gained weight over the last year from that and not being as active/going to the gym as regularly. 

But despite wanting to lose those 15 lbs, I truly feel like as long as I’m enjoying life and my size/weight isn’t holding me back from enjoying things or keeping up with my friends/fiance, then I’m really pretty happy–not unhappy with my body and often not thinking about it.  Until I see unflattering pictures ๐Ÿ˜‰  and groan about losing my flat tummy or put on my jeans right after laundering and swear I’ll never eat again until they’re looser.

Anyway…So really, I am happy and my body is what I use to get through life.  So I need to take care of it, and I want to be happy with it.  But it’s just another aspect of myself that I know I’ll probably never be totally self-confident about.  And that’s okay.  That’s why gorgeous, healthy women get plastic surgery and lipo, too.  It’s rare for anyone to be totally happy and confident in their own skin until they’re happy and confident internally.  And I’m still working on that ๐Ÿ™‚

If your weight gain is something you can address, do it–you’ll feel better and happier!  If it’s something you’re thinking you need to “learn to love”, well, don’t hide it or hide behind the weight.  Shop for what looks good on you and try to ignore any tag sizes.  The proper fitting jeans and tops at a size or two larger than you want, will look way better and make you look and feel slimmer than the “right number” if it’s too tight and making you uncomfortable or showing off the extra weight instead of skimming it.

Random final thought–I was never a size 6.  Even when I had no extra weight…so I imagine for you, a 12 is plus sized and could be really uncomfortable.  Don’t let anyone tell you not to feel that way because some of us would like to be DOWN to a 12 again.  Your body is unique.  I bet you’re still just as beautiful and curvy, more than you might be feeling right at the moment.  But only you can figure out how to feel good about yourself. 

Post # 21
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I was thin most of my childhood but I hit puberty in middle school. I got boobs quickly and a butt too. My mom, being a petite Asian woman with hardly any assets, would tell me I was getting fat and hint at me about diets. I don’t think she meant anything by it but she was really insensitive. I remember going clothes shopping and her saying things to my sister along the lines of, “She can’t fit any of these nice clothes.” And she would dress me in really baggy clothing that made me look 10x bigger. I really began to believe I was fat and ugly and I got depressed and really started packing on pounds. By high school graduation I was 250.

I moved out of my mom’s house and started treating my depression at 18. I found old photos of me from middle school and realized I had a stunning body and hourglass shape. I didn’t even have to diet or exercise. Living stress free and having no mom constantly judging me was wonderful. I went from 250 to 180 in a year’s time. A size 18 to a size 14. I started loving myself and the pounds fell off. 

I’m 230 now and a size 18 again because I had a rough pregnancy but I’m eating right and exercising when I can. I know I can lose the weight. I know I can never be anything smaller than a 12/14 because of my genes and my bone structure and I’m ok with that. I’ve learned to love myself and found someone who loves me too.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by  joy1313.
  • This reply was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by  joy1313.
Post # 22
Member
401 posts
Helper bee

I’m in the same camp. Currently about 175 at 5’7 (size 12) and I honestly hate it. I gained all the weight these past few years of grad school. I look and feel my best around 140 lbs. I’m trying but it’s so hard. I swear it takes 2 months to lose 10 lbs and then I can gain it back in one weekend of binging! Hard to stay at it and on track. I used to be very confident when I met SO (at my ideal weight) and now I don’t feel confident at all. I’m self conscious when he sees my naked and don’t even feel good in half the clothes I wear. He assures me all the time he loves my body but I would definitely prefer to lose 30 lbs!  

Post # 23
Member
2120 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Body positivity helped me a lot. Read blogs and watch videos on YouTube. My worth is more than my weight. It took a loooooong time to get to this point, but it can be done!

Post # 24
Member
6887 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

 

sway0060:  I am plus size, do I like how much I weigh, oh hell no. But really what woman really does?  I have always been on the bigger side. To me it is not how you look it is how you feel about your self.  There are men and women of all walks of life of sizes and shapes who feel bad about themselves. Weather it be, what size they are to their hair, arms, legs, etc.

I love who I am bigger or smaller.  Am I trying to make myself healthier you bet. But in the end I have to be happy who I am and that is what I am

Post # 25
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I hate to comment because I am not plus sized but I am the same size as you.  I am a size 12, depending on the brand of clothes and especially dresses I can sometimes wear a 10.  I am 5’7″ and I weigh 185….my scale is broken and is ten pounds off so I like to see the 175 number show up when I step on lol.

I LOVE how I look!  I don’t like my stomach but that is from having 2 super huge babies and c-sections.  I would love to get that taken care of but I have no desire to lose weight.  I see the 185 number and think OMG that is too high but then I look at myself and think, hey I look pretty damn good!  Fiance loves my body, I constantly get glances and hit on so it must be ok with some people.  I’m sure some people think I am overweight and need to lose but I don’t care, I’m happy.  Fiance thinks I’m beautiful, my sons think I’m beautiful and my MOH’s son said I looked like Elsa when I was trying on wedding dresses so I think I’ve got something going on ๐Ÿ™‚

Sizes and scales are evil!  Only put on outfits that you feel great in and work whatever you have!  I know what you are saying though it did take me time and I do have days that I think I should diet but I love my life and the people in it love me so what more could I want?

Post # 26
Member
1419 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

sway0060:  I know how you feel. I was never skinny, I was always a bit on chubby side. I was size 12/13 and I actually felt wonderful. Sure, I could have go smaller but I never thought of myself in category “fat”. I could run and keep up, I could dress sexy and actually look sexy. I was full of confidence.

Then I gained a lot of weight out of nowhere. It seems like it happened literally over few months (in reality longer I just somehow missed the fact I am getting so big) and now I am size 18. I hate it. I am not going to lie I am ok with who I am. I am very proud of who I am on the inside but I hate my body from outside. I don’t feel confident, it prevents me from enjoying life. I am currently trying to go back to where I was (lost 20 pounds) but I still hate looking in the mirror.

It doesn’t matter when my Fiance says I am so sexy and look great, it doesn’t matter that my friends say I look great because in my eyes, I am a disaster. I am getting married next year around this time so I will do everything I can in my power to get back to size 12/13.

Post # 27
Member
3114 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

I am very happy being on the low end of plus sized, I used to be a size 22 and was able to get down to a 14 and I felt incredible and sexy. I’m now back up to around a 16 and Im not as comfortable with my body, so ultimately I’d like to get to a 10-12 which isn’t plus sized but would still place me in the overweight category. I dont see myself as a slim girl and I don’t aspire to be one, I prefer being a little bit thicker, but I do want to be healthy as well. 

Post # 28
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016

No, because every time I think I come even a little bit close in accepting my size 8-10 body, I read something similar to this that reminds me I’m on the brink of being plus-sized and, obviously, quite undesirable. 

Post # 29
Member
2348 posts
Buzzing bee

sway0060:  I think what you’re really asking has less to do with weight and more to do with comparing yourself to other people’s frame of personal happiness. Some women are perfectly happy to have a husband who travels 100 days a year. That would kill me. Some women are happy with 5 kids and some women are happy with zero kids.

I work from home part time by choice, for very little money, when I could realistically be making way more. I quit a high paying job to do it! Many women would not be happy with that and they would feel enormous pressure to earn as much as possible. I just don’t. Money and stuff just isn’t my thing and I feel like I have everything I could possibly want/need. It geniunely doesn’t bother me when our friends have more expensive lifestyles and I’m genuinely not jealous of them at all. 

I don’t think weight is so different. Some women are perfectly happy being heavier. They feel like they look great and they feel like they can be really active and like it doesn’t negatively affect their quality of life at all. That’s how I feel about having a low income. It geniunely doesn’t bother me.  However, I personally gained 20 pounds one year (I’m short, 5’2″)  and felt like total crap. I hated it. I felt slow, tired, and weaker. I couldn’t wear some of my favorite clothes. I felt like stretching was much harder because there was more to negotiate. I can imagine some people would feel like this about being on a tight budget. I don’t mind bargain shopping and not eating out and doing things myself but for others it would feel like a huge imposition. 

My advice is figure out what you need. If you want to lose weight because you feel like your current weight contributes to your unhappiness then go for it! Not everyone has to be content with the same things and everyone has certain areas they want to improve (whatever that means to them) on. 

Post # 30
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee

Not directed at anyone here, but I hate the assumption that plus size = fat and unhealthy.

I am plus size and love my body! I’m a size 16, a normal weight, and I am tall. I don’t have much body fat, I wear plus size because I’m just built bigger! I eat really healthy and exercise every day.

I’m glad there’s a positive plus size post on here, FINALLY! ๐Ÿ‘

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