(Closed) Is anyone here happy with being plus sized?

posted 4 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 91
Hostess
3890 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

MissKristi: It’s not letting me tag you, so I hope you see this. I’m with you there. I am a size 4, and about to head back to counselling for body image/eating issues. In my experience a lot of people look down on you when you struggle with this stuff and think you’re fishing for compliments 🙁 Like we’re not allowed to feel bad about ourselves or that we’re lying about it. I know friends mean well, but it sucks to feel like your struggles are invalid.

mrsfiddlesticks: 26 races in 3 years??? Clapping for you like crazy, that’s awesome!!! I just got into running 2-3 years ago and have only done 5 races; I can’t imagine doing that many, you are a rockstar!

Post # 92
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

mishinthecity:  Awe, thanks! My falling into running was a mistake actually. Long story short, but I set a goal to do 30 before I’m 30. I have just a smidge over a year to complete 4 more!

Post # 93
Member
480 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I used to be a size 16 and hated it. I was so self-conscious and always compared myself to others. My last straw was when I was standing in my closet and couldn’t fit into a pair of dress pants comfortably. Enough was enough for me. I started exercising daily and changed my diet. This is a lifestyle change and not a diet that I will stop. Yes, I treat myself every once in awhile, but it is about moderation and not deprivation. I was also on the edge of getting diabetes. I am so happy I changed when I did. I lost 50 pounds merely by doing at home workouts and eating Healthy. I’ve realized there are healthy alternatives to everything. I’ve gained 10 pounds back but it is all muscle. I am now lifting weights and training. I’ve never been happier than I am now. I have gained so much self-confidence and I have my Life back. I no longer struggle when I look in the mirror and I can walk around the block without losing my breath.  I am truly healthy and happy. If you are not happy with the way you look or feel, you are the only one who can change it. You have a choice every day. If you are happy the way you are then great! Either way, you have to do what you need for YOU and no one else. 

Post # 94
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2018

The short answer is “No.”  

When I met my fiance, I was a 12 (156 pounds) and incredibly self-conscious and hated the way I look.  I’m now a 16 (and 4′ 11″ with 206 pounds), so you can imagine that the extra weight I’m carrying is really hard on me and is not at all flattering.

What’s odd is that I think I’m less self-conscious?  I know he loves me, no matter what weight I’m at, he tells me I’m pretty when I’m in sweats, or just randomly when I have my hair down (which he likes).  I feel more secure in that relationship, but I’m still not happy with my weight.

I’m a bargain shopper, so I love Goodwill and they just don’t have the best selection in plus-size clothing, not to mention that if I go to a deparment store to get plus sized clothing, I pay more for it than regular size clothes.  At this point in my weight, while I do care about how I look, I think I’m more concerned with my health.  I’m constantly tired, I have no energy to do anything, walking up any kind of stairs is killer, and my back hurts a lot more than it used to! 

Despite the extra weight though, I do little things to keep me feeling good about myself.  I give myself a manicure about once a week, do face masks, and try to find clothes that flatter my body. I may be overweight, but my nails rock, my pores are clear, and I’m not accentuating my belly, lol. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by  yoyeen.
Post # 95
Member
901 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I went from being a size 8 (which I loved) to being back again a size 14. It really stinks. Not even so much how I look. I just FEEL so uncomfortable. I think that’s a big thing that body positivity misses. Like yes, my boyfriend still finds me attractive, men in general still find me attractive, I can buy clothes that can hide and flatter my figure, I am still worth it and beeautful, blah blah blah. It’s all true. But they don’t address how absolutely uncomfortable gaining weight can be. Just things like sitting or laying on your stomach or whatnot suddenly become really awkward and not nice.

Post # 96
Member
1338 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

KC-2722:  Wow, I have an identical story to yours.  Starting size 4, an injury, a ballooning up, a return to reasonable but still larger size/weight at an 8 and all the feelings that go with all of that, both in overall terms and in day to day terms.  Exact same deal here.  You explained how I feel & my own backstory to a T.

Post # 97
Member
1338 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

sway0060:  “let me also clarify I love being curvy even at size 6 I had hips, boobs, and a larger bum. I would never want to be ” skinny””

Well good on you with your great hips, boobs and bum.  I’m sure you don’t realize this but your words could sting a little.  Not all of us are lucky to have boobs & butts & curves at any size.  Some of us are *gasp* skinny, which I know you would never want to be.  I have no more curves as a size 12 than I do as a size 2.  In fact, I have less curve the fatter I am.  I have a very slim & slight frame and any shape I have goes out the window if I’m carrying extra weight.  When I carry extra weight it doesn’t look like a bigger & curvier “me”.  It looks like an impersonator of me swallowed me whole & I’m trapped inside a shapeless sack of shit.  I carry weight very poorly, worse than almost anyone I know actually.  So I don’t like being *skinny* either because I’m not blessed with the T & A to go with it.  

Anyhow I know you meant zero harm and I absolutely relate to you just never being happy heavier.  And I also relate to feeling like a whale at a size 12.  I’m really not trying to give you grief but perspective rather.  Your remarks on *skinny* that I think were meant to disarm could actually have the opposite effect.  Call me fat any day, but please don’t call me skinny.  Fat I can change, it’s my choice to be fat.  I can’t change skinny, can’t change my body type.  Just like an apple can’t change to a pear or a short person to a tall person.

 

Post # 98
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

totally feel you. Not the same circumstance, but I do have similar feelings. In a span of 5 years, I went from a size 2 to 8(translates to about 35-40 lbs difference). I have the same healthy eating habits, and work out/ weight train much more than I did back then (I’m probably actually healthier than I was back then). Nonetheless, I still miss and mourn my old self. I don’t think she’s ever coming back, so I do my best to just love and be happy with the “now” me, but it is not easy.You are not alone. Stay strong and beautiful. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by  Paguilar84.
Post # 99
Hostess
3890 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

lim3:  I feel the same way as you.  I carry weight terribly.  I’m fortunate to have boobs, but I have a flat butt no matter what size I am.  I also really hate the word “skinny”.  Some of my friends call me skinny as a compliment and I just do not like it.  Fit, healthy, thin even are better words; maybe that’s just me.  “Skinny” to me is someone saying “ew look at her, she is so skinny she should eat a hamburger” and making a lot of assumptions.    

Post # 100
Member
42 posts
Newbee

ahartig:  I can totally relate. I don’t even want to go dress shopping or even set a date because this is the biggest I have ever been and I am really unhappy.

Post # 101
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee

I’ve always been bigger boned and a size 8-10. The last year though I creeped up to a 12, and then even closer to a 14. It’s weird because most of the time I feel like I look ok but it really sucks not fitting into 75% of my clothes and just plain not feeling good in my own skin. Trying to make better food choices, but it’s hard bc I really never had to try in the past to stay at a certain size. 

I also don’t weigh myself often but it scares the shit out of me to see 186 right now, that’s SO close to 200!! I was usually 160 at 5’7 1/2″ which I was comfortable at 

Post # 102
Member
2449 posts
Buzzing bee

DaniAnnie:  gurl!!! Omg I literally was dreading dress shopping. I thought I was going to cry during the appt. That wasn’t the case at all and I love the dress I found, but I’m obviously still going to try to lose weight and make it look even better ;p

It really wasn’t nearly as bad as I had thought it was going to be. Just go in with an open mind and make sure they carry stuff in your size so that you can try things on in the different styles (most bridal shops with).

I feel so bad for my fi when we started dating I was, skinny in shape, and I liked to look good. Now I feel awful, and this is what he gets to marry?! I’ve gained a ton of weight and I have a job where I can literally wear pj’s (most people do), so I don’t dress up, I don’t do my makeup, I don’t have nicer clothes that fit, because I really don’t want to go shopping. I’m trying to lose weight for myself and for him. Lol fingers crossed it works!

Post # 103
Member
7070 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Gosh no, I’m super unhappy right now and the worst part is despite being unhappy with my weight I can’t get motivated to do anything about it. Life is busy and hectic and stressful, and instead of using exercise and healthy eating as an outlet it’s my crutch to not do anything about it. I totally know this.

I was mainly always a 4/6, and a pretty solid 6 through college. Right after I crept up to an 8 then it slowly went to a 10, then up to a 12. I started a workout group many years ago and I was down to a 10 (sometimes an 8) and while I wasn’t 100% happy I at least felt I’m on the right track. I’ve since gained it all back plus some – and between a 12/14. While that might not sound like a lot to some – I’m only 5’2″ and it has nowhere to go but out. I’m currently about 40 pounds above my ideal weight, and even that will still put me on the high end of what I used to be.

Post # 104
Member
2123 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I’m not plus sized, but I’m very unhappy. You can be unhappy at any size, it just depends on the person. I’m 5’8 and I was a size 6-8 (US 2-4) for years. I went up to a 8-10 (US 4-6) in my mid 20s, and then to a 10-12 (US 6-8) a couple of years ago and I’ve struggled since. I’m carrying a lot of body fat and clothes fit me terribly. People have really noticed, and some of the meaner comments are really causing me to lose the motivation to do something about it. I find that bizarre, because you’d usually assume that mean comments would force you to be more motivated. Nope. Body shaming just makes things so much worse.

Post # 105
Member
49 posts
Newbee

At 5’5″ and 180lbs, I am very overweight for my height.  I really wish I was back to being 140 lbs which is my happy weight. What’s weird is a few years ago I was able to go from 165lbs to 140lbs, but now I have ballooned up to 180lbs and it seems impossible to lose even 5 lbs. 

I am lucky that I do carry my weight nicely in that it is evenly distributed, but I am in no way happy with being plus-sized.  I find myself refusing to buy bigger-sized clothes because I am in denial that I am a size 12/14, but that results in me being unhappy and uncomfortable wearing my tight clothes.  I dislike being out of breath after doing easy hikes with my friends, or being nervous to do any sort of physical activities.  I think the heavier I am, the less motivated and harder it is for me to lose it. 

I am in a happy loving relationship with someone who loves me and accepts me for who I am, but I still can’t help but be disgusted with my body during sex or even changing in front of my bf.  I notice my weight is negatively affecting my relationship, in that I constantly crave and seek for reassurance since I have such low self-esteem. It’s a vicscious cycle and I wish I could end it.

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