(Closed) Is anyone here ok with private strippers?

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 16
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee

My man really isn’t into strip clubs etc. so if his friends organised this I would be so happy, as long as he actually has fun! That would honestly be my main concern, that he would feel uncomfortable, and I would want for him to have a great night. BUT I am only completely okay with this because I am with someone I trust completely. I would need to be told (in advance if he knew in advance, after is fine if it is a surprise). I would also need for him to be 100% happy for me to ask questions! I would not have any interest in grilling him but I am curious by nature and would have fun finding out what happened and hearing stories of his night/trip. As long as we are both open with each other and no boundaries are crossed, I am more than okay with this. 

Post # 17
Member
1758 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Don’t have a problem with strippers at all. Where I am from all bachelor parties do the private strippers, going to strip clubs for a bachelor isn’t really a thing here, we don’t have many strip clubs and the ones we do have are in the bad, bad part of town. 

I didn’t realise private strippers weren’t a thing everywhere else till this website 😂😂 here though they are booked through safe companies and are escorted by a chaperone. Not sure what it’s like elsewhere 🤷🏻‍♀️

Post # 18
Member
7806 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Lol no, I’m not on with my husband hiring sex workers to entertain him.

Post # 19
Member
1509 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

View original reply
futuremrs2020 :  I’m okay with private strippers in public settings.  For example it’s fairly common here in Aus (or at least in my work/social settings) for the guys to chip in for a couple of strippers or topless waitresses for a bucks party that is hosted at an airbnb/large property/large house,.  I’m okay with that.  Private strippers in an intimate setting (ie. under 10 guys) in a hotel room or similar is borderline for me.  I wouldn’t be 100% cool with it and would be horrified if it was DH’s idea, but if it was something someone else had planned I would ultimately trust him.  I would expect him to explicitly tell me the situation beforehand though, including a text on the night if he only found out on the night, if I found out afterwards I’d be pissed. 

Post # 20
Member
2753 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I’m not okay with strippers/strip clubs in a relationship in general. However, I also don’t judge and can understand relationships that are for it.

The important point being both people feel mutual about it therefore are respecting the boundaries set for their relationship. 

So basically you do you.

Post # 21
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

I don’t care ironically husband has no interest in strip clubs..

I don’t care about porn either and that he does enjoy. I really don’t understand why some women get mad about porn, I mean unless the guy is picking porn over her.

 

But side note 3k for a stripper???  

 

Post # 22
Member
345 posts
Helper bee

I have complete and absolute trust in my boyfriend, so this wouldn’t be a big deal to me. 

From the womens’ perspective I would hope that they would travel/work at least in pairs – not because of groups like my boyfriend and his buddies, but just for safety in general. 

Post # 23
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I 100% trust my husband’s fidelity & know he’d never engage or be part of any sex-worker activity. We don’t engage in sexual contact outside of our monogamous relationship. That includes use of porn. This strict monogamy works for us.

Post # 25
Member
10100 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Private strippers=hard “no” from me.

Dh doesn’t do strip clubs, he’s a big straight arrow.  He surely would not be impressed with private strippers.  His idea of a bachelor party was sushi with his adult kids.

Post # 25
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

It isn’t the norm where I’m from but don’t think I’d mind THAT MUCH lol! It would just depend…I certainly would want him to tell me though, and as a rare occurrence fair enough but certainly no touching etc! I’d be more annoyed that he/others paid 3k 

Post # 26
Member
330 posts
Helper bee

I am okay with strip clubs, but not with private strippers. I read an article once (link below) and what is described is a sex show. I am not okay with that. I understand this might not be the norm for private strippers, but it will always be in my mind. Lap dances are not my favorite idea, but I wouldn’t be super upset. I prefer a “appreciate from afar” approach. My SO has only been a few times to a strip club, so it is not a big worry in general. I might feel differently if he went on a regular / weekly basis. 

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/celebs/news/a2902/bachelor-party-stripper-confessions-0305/

(I tried to post this before, but I don’t think my comment went through. If it did, sorry for the double post.)

Post # 27
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee

It’s not only about jealousy and cheating. Personally, I would never be with man who thinks it’s okay to pay for sexual acts, because to do so means he’s okay with the idea that women can sometimes be commodities or sex objects rather than whole people. It’s just deeply incompatible with my values and world view. And even if you view sex as just a service – like massages or something – there is a huge amount of coercion of women and underage girls in the sex work industry (as an empirical fact, not a logical necessity – maybe things would be different with better laws and policies). I would lose all respect for someone who paid for sex acts (including stripping) whilst either not knowing or not caring if the women were coerced or trafficked, or even whether they were women and not underaged girls. 

Post # 28
Member
974 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
futuremrs2020 :  I’m not ok with public strippers so I definitely wouldn’t be down with private ones.  However,  it’s your relationship and your boundaries,  so if you’re ok with it then that’s all that matters   

Eta: not liking strippers has nothing to do with trust, for me.  I think paying people to take their clothes off for money is a little too close to prostitution in my mind and I wouldn’t want to be with a man who finds that entertaining.   Luckily, my husband feels the same way so it’s never been an issue for us.  I felt the need to throw this in because a lot of people say, I’m fine with strip clubs because I trust my so, implying that trust is the only reason someone must not be ok with strip clubs.  It just goes a lot deeper than that for me.  

Post # 29
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

How on earth are 3 x strippers $3000??? You sure they aren’t providing more than a strip?

Post # 30
Member
352 posts
Helper bee

I’m totally respectful of any woman (or man) who makes the choice to * freely* to work in any part of the adult entertainment industry.

However, I’m not OK with strip clubs within my own relationship (for either of us)… it’s completely alien to the dynamic of our relationship. I don’t see it as a matter of being cool/not cool; just a preference and what you feel is right for you as a couple!

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