(Closed) Is anyone here ok with private strippers?

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 47
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

This topic just came up yesterday, because in a few weeks FH will be attending a bachelor party, and that same evening I will be attending the corresponding bachelorette for the bride. It has been made clear that there will be private strippers at both events. Neither of us is a big fan of strippers, so I know FH won’t do anything inappropriate, but for some reason he was freaking out yesterday thinking I’m going to be grinding up on a male stripper or something. ??? Not sure where he conjured that up, because we have boundaries in our relationship, and those boundaries don’t change suddenly just because someone is half naked in front of us. 

The consensus between us is that it’s generally okay to attend parties for others where strippers will be present, but neither of us would be okay if we had strippers at our own events, because in that case you’re the center of attention and people like to peer pressure you into getting a lap dance or something, whereas when the event doesn’t revolve around you it’s easier to stay on the fringes and decline participating. And in general, both of us are expected to adhere to a “look but don’t touch” policy at events where there are strippers.

We chose to have a joint bachelor/bachelorette party partially for this exact reason — to avoid people trying to sneak strippers into the evening somehow. We’ll be doing a bar crawl and just focusing on having fun with our friends for an evening.

Post # 48
1898 posts
Buzzing bee

sorry but i have a hard time believing this girl was paid $5k and only danced around naked for a few hours. I would think the $5k girls are doing a LOT more than just dancing around. 

Post # 49
805 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I wouldn’t be cool with it but not because I’d be Jealous…To be honest, I’ve been put off by most men that I know who are into strip clubs and lap dances and what not.  Just not my cup of tea I guess! In your situation, where you clearly  ARE comfortable with it and you and your guy communicate openly and honestly about it….then I don’t see the big deal! Good on you two! 

Post # 51
7806 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
futuremrs2020 :  That’s good he didnt cross your lines. I know for my husband, his married brother/best man was the one pushing for the strippers – it seems like a lot of times the friends just want the excuse to party more than the groom lol. 

Post # 52
4870 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Where I come from private strippers are pretty common for Bach and bachelorette parties. A lot of these parties are hosted at someone’s house and involve a few topless waiters and a stripper. Strippers here are just strippers and they are hired more as a way to embarrass the bride or groom. They are called up front and get a lap dance with all the attendees watching. The stripper usually hangs around for another half an hour after that then moves on to their next party.

I honestly didn’t realise that a private stripper in the USA did extras. I’m OK with a private stripper at a bachelor party because it generally follows the format I mentioned above. TBH though $3000 for three strippers means that they must be doing more than just an innocent lap dance. I don’t know if I’d be OK with that and I’m pretty open minded by way of these things. Someone at that party is planning on receiving extras if they forked out that amount of cash. It just seems extra seedy to have three girls. I hope for everyone attending that its just the genuinely single guys that are the ones getting the extras 😕

Post # 53
1364 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

I trust my man, and don’t have any concerns with him and strippers. He can go to a show, he can get a private one (special circumstances of course), even get a lap dance and some tits in his face. Just nothing beyond a good show , which he knows and respects. I don’t think he’ll end up in any of those situations though because it doesn’t interest him or his friends.

Honestly, I’d probably end up jealous because he got to see a stripper show and I didn’t! Haha. I’d definitely sign up to see a Magic Mike show if he got to have a stripper experience before I did.

Post # 54
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

View original reply
futuremrs2020 :  I’d be fine …I haven’t read the other posts yet …will do now !

Post # 55
466 posts
Helper bee

I trust my SO but he’s not into that kind of thing either. If he was, I don’t think I would be okay with it; there’s something about watching other people strip and receiving sexual pleasure from it that feels like cheating to me. 

I’m funny that way. 

Post # 56
8674 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

Eh, I’m OK with it because my husband is like yours–he’d be the most uncomfortable person in the room!

That said I’d still be a little annoyed if I found out his friends had done that to him for his sake–why the hell would you hire 3 strippers for a man you know doesn’t like strip clubs?!  Rude.

Post # 57
2544 posts
Sugar bee

I’m ok with strip clubs but not with private strippers or lap dances. Sort of a look, but don’t touch policy.

From what i’ve heard from guys that frequent strippers the private dancers often try to sleep with the guys or perform other sex acts for money, and have sex with each other etc.. it’s not so much a dance as a sex show. And they’re definitely giving lapdances of course – especially to the guest of honour. it’s just a LOT more raunchy than a regular strip club. 


Post # 60
1099 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
futuremrs2020 :  Totally trust my husband, totally not okay with strippers. It’s not a jealousy issue – I just find the whole thing uneccessary and a bit creepy… 

To each their own.

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