Post # 1
How do you feel about it? I always though I’d love a mama’s boy but, omg, it can get so frustrating. In fact, his mom (and, well, his entire family) and I had a HUGE falling out a few months ago. We’re now just starting to talk to each other again. It was a full out screaming match. I’ve never felt my blood boil before that moment but now I can say that I have. What a terrible feeling! And the worst part about the fight we had was because I was yearning to have more alone time with him! Quick bkground info: Fiance was in a VERY serious truck accident last October which landed him in the hospital for 1 month and then rehabilitation for 5 months. He was in a hospital/rehab center in a city an hour away from where we (and his parents and both sisters) live so I ended up renting an apartment in that city so we could be together with our daughter. His sisters and mother both refused to pretty much ever leave his side (which meant they [his sisters] would pawn their children off on babysitters and stuff for a week or two at a time..not a good thing to do with young kids, i can vouch for that as I looked after our 18 month old alone the entire time he was in the hospital/rehab. Kids need their parents!) and I was getting so sick and frustrated over it. Especially since they all crossed the lines numerous times regarding FIs personal space and omg I could’ve annhilated them lol. ANYWAY! Ever since his injury, his family has been really overbearing. We now live on the other side of the city from them and don’t plan on being in this city (or province) forever, THANKFULLY! I’m not mad at them anymore. But remembering the shit they put me through makes me angry all over again lol.
Anyway! The point of this post was to see if anyone else is marrying a mamas boy?
Post # 3
ME! OMG! he’s soo much better than he used to be…but momma is still attatched at the umbilical cord!
Post # 4
As a matter of fact….she still wont speak to me because 1. we told her that she had to cut her guest list of 363 people and 2. because we are doing unity sand and not a candle…so she is all fired up!
Post # 5
I wouldn’t say my Fiance is a mama’s boy…but his mama can’t seem to let him go
Post # 6
I will just say that in some ways I consider myself lucky to live so far away from both of our families. Not that I don’t ever yearn to be near our parents, of course I do all the time, but I am aware of the advantages.
Post # 7
@jtsing:Yeah that’s part of the problem with my FIs mom too. She refuses to let him go and do his own thing. When we lived in different cities, she wasn’t too bad and didn’t meddle much. But it’s 10x worse now that he’s paralyzed!
Post # 8
Nope :). I dated one or two before, and it drove me NUTS!!!! But, to each her own >.<
Post # 10
I am not, but I have. And it was freakin annoying! Fiance isn’t close to his family at all which sometimes has its own problems… but really I so appreciate not having to deal with those family politics. And, he does like his mom and his mom is cool… kind of the best of both worlds there.
Post # 11
ME! My fiance is 27 and his checking account is still connected to his mother. He is the youngest of 4 boys and all of his older brother, all married, still having checking accounts linked to hers… WHAT?!
Post # 12
Nope. And I never would. In my opinion, it usually leads to a life of hell, esp. if you have kids. If you think you future inlaws meddle now, wait until it’s their GRANDCHILDREN. I have seen many, many couples have serious problems because the “boy” could not stand up to his mother.
However…in my opinion it is never..NEVER..ok to scream at someone’s mother. I don’t care how old you are, screaming is never appropriate. It’s hard to stand by someone who is at that level.
Post # 13
@menobride:Oh, we have a daughter already. And the meddling didnt get any worse when we had our her. It didnt get really bad until his accident. And, for the record, I’m usually a really quiet, soft spoken gal. The screaming match between us was unavoidable and trust me, if you knew the full circumstances, you probably would’ve been screaming too. 😛 It was all just ridiculous.
Post # 14
me me me! My Fiance is super close to his parents and it definitely has its up and its downs. He talks to his mom on the phone daily and says he won’t move out of MN until his parents are gone. I have to remind myself that it is great that he is so helpful to his parents since his dads other kids (his half siblings) are not when I am frusterated that he is over there mowing the lawn or putting up a shed. Meanwhile, my clothes are in piles on our bedroom floor because this spring he started to refinish my dresser and never even finished stripping the paint off. It seems like my mother also has this problem with my father, so maybe it just the curse of being with someone who is very family oriented?
Luckily, Mother-In-Law doesn’t butt into our relationship much (if at all). Father-In-Law started to get a little instant about some of the wedding plans when we first got engaged but Fiance quickly stepped in and told him that it is our wedding and we already have a solid idea of what we would like. My parents, or at least my mom, seems to be the one who crosses the line. She knows this a problem of hers, though, so she has told me to tell her “This is none of your business” when she is giving unsolicted advice. Doesn’t usually stop her, but then I dont feel so bad for ignoring her when I don’t agree with what she is saying 🙂
I’m sure after an accident like that, everyone was scared and it changed a lot of dynamics in everyone’s relationships. Maybe her meddling is just her way of trying to help?
Post # 15
Ugh, been there done that. NEVER AGAIN. Fortunately, we never married. You marry a mama’s boy, you sign up for a lifetime of frustration, anger and resentment.
Post # 16
You marry a mama’s boy, you sign up for a lifetime worth of frustration, anger and resentment.
Yep. And if you are under the impression that he will change once that ring gets on your finger, you are dead wrong.
I think you can be family oriented and NOT a mama’s boy.
The mom can try to be clingy all she wants, but the kicker is how the boy handles it.