Post # 1
I am having a small wedding (only 40 people max) with no bridal party. I’m not expecting or planning for a shower or bachelorette party. I don’t really have any close femaile friends, just my sisters. The only women at the wedding will be older females in our families and SO’s of the men attending. Because it is such a small affair, I’m not inviting anyone not family or the closest of friends, and hence not expecting a bridal shower as there simply won’t be enough women to fill a room. Part of me feels like I’m missing out a little bit and part of me is glad that it’s one less thing to plan or worry about.
What say you, Bee’s? Anyone else forfeiting a shower? Are you disappointed? Did anyone else do an alternative, like a small ladies tea or something to that effect?
Post # 2
I did not have a bridal party or a shower. I have been to sooooo many showers and been in soooooo many bridal parties…..ugh. I wanted my wedding to be as simple and stress-free as possible. I wanted my friends to attend a carefree guests and not have to host any events. My girlfriends did throw me a fantastic surprise bachelorette weekend at a downtown hotel, it was great! I do not feel like I missed out on having a shower; I hate going to them and I could not imagine bring the honoree!
Post # 3
I’m not doing either. I just don’t have a lot of girl friends, plus I don’t really like being the center of attention. A small shower I could have handled, but I wouldn’t have liked a traditional bachelorette at all. I would have wanted something much more low key.
Post # 4
I’m also having a small wedding ceremony (family only, 30 people max) and I’m not having a shower. FI and I have lived together for over three years and already have all the stuff we need. If guests want to bring a gift to the wedding, we’ll graciously accept it but we don’t have a registry or anything. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything, since our wedding is about us getting married, not hosting a bunch of events and getting gifts =)
My friends still want to throw a bachelorette party for me even though they aren’t invited to the ceremony. We’ll probably go out for dinner or something, then go to a hotel and sit around drinking wine and playing games. There’s been mention of a penis cake, but I’m not so sure I want that lol.
Post # 5
We had 42 guests (immediate family and close friends).
I didn’t have a traditional bachlorette party. I just hung out with friends – dinner and conversation. Was about four ladies. My best friend put this together.
My shower was held at a French restaurant and was a High Tea. I had 15 ladies at my shower – it was lovely and was just good food and conversation. My best friend and mother co-hosted this event. My MOH is my SIL and she’s only 18 so they were helping her out.
We didn’t really forgo anything just because the wedding was smaller. We had a semi-formal event (adult only affair – only children in the bridal party were invited) with all the bells and whistles of a larger wedding.
Post # 6
- Wedding: Royal Park Hotel
We had a small wedding like you’re having 45 guests. We did a ladies tea which turned out to be a full-on bridal shower. I was so against a shower because I didn’t want to deal with the stress or have others deal with the stress and I was embarassed to have my aunt send out invites to people who lived thousands of miles away for a bridal shower.
Well my aunt was kind of offended so I said “have at it” and I was shocked that everyone actually flew into town for it. We had 22 women and it was amazing. I am SO glad we did it. I really feel like I would have missed out on an amazing thing if I had passed on it like I wanted to originally.
Just food for thought.
Post # 7
danibelle: Ha! Honestly, the thought of me drinking out of a penis straw is so…. base. I wouldn’t find that “fun”, on the contrary, I’d be mortified. And I so feel you on unnecessary gifts. We are registering, but only because my sister reminded me that it was more out of courtesy for guests wanting to gift us something we would like, should they chose. We too live together and have all we need, so I honestly don’t know what we would even register for.
LibrarianBride: Correct me, but are you also from Boston? I think I remember that… Anywho, I feel the same way!
HappyTrails: I have fortunately been spared going to many of those. The ones I have been to I remember feeling bored to tears, oohing and aahing over trashy, cheap lingerie and feigning interest over pretty much everything bridal.
Post # 8
im not having one either. I moved to where i live now (2000miles away from where i was) 2 years ago and all my close friends still live where I used to and will not come until short before wedding so i dont see any point since here i have only friends that are more mutual and we small talk here and there.. Also i hate being in the center of attention and really am not up for embarrasing penis-theme and other weird stuff (i know here it gets wild)
Post # 9
We’re actually having a somewhat large wedding (120 guests) and I have a bridal party, but I’m not having a bridal shower. A majority of the guests (including my BMs) live pretty far away, so I didn’t want to ask people to travel multiple times to celebrate the same event. I also hate being the center of attention, and we don’t need all the presents that go along with a bridal shower. It just feels kind of self-centered to me.
I am, however, having a bachelorette party! I only have 4 BMs but I’m having my 8 closest friends at the bachelorette party. It’s a way to include everyone and I think they’re all more excited about it than I am haha.
Post # 10
coffeedrinker: I am from Boston!
Post # 11
coffeedrinker: I definitely am not having a shower, and the extent of my bachelorette party is that my bridesmaids and I are going to bring some fun cocktail fixings and some mud masks back to one of the girl’s hotel rooms and hang out and drink and exfoliate in our pajamas. I feel like the wedding is going to be a pretty damn fun party, so I don’t really feel the need for several parties leading up to it. Just quality time with people I love. : )
Post # 12
I’m not going to have either…I only have 2 girl friends who dont live here (they’ll be my BM at the wedding tho) and my man of honor. For a bridal shower, I personally dont enjoy being the center of attention, so I won’t be dissapointed. And for bachelorette, I don’t like overly tacky-sex-centric stuff anyway; that’s private.
My wedding will be small too; destination for 25 people.
Post # 13
I’m not having them.
Both of our families are in different states. I won’t ask them to travel twice. Shower wise, I feel showers are more about gifts and I don’t like the idea of gifts. We have lived together for years. We have nice things. We have money, so if we want something we will buy it. Party wise, I hate being the center of attention and bars are not my idea of fun.
Post # 14
I had a super low key bridal shower. I really didn’t want people to bring gifts so no one did and my small party chipped in to treat me to high tea. It was just my 3 bridesmaids, my mom, and my closest cousin. It was lovely!
Post # 15
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
coffeedrinker: I didn’t, but I ended up being pretty bummed about no bach party. I definiyely didn’t want to do anything crazy, but it would have been nice for someone to plan a little something. I ended up asking everyone to go get pedicures a couple weeks before the wedding.