(Closed) Is Anyone Not SURE They Want To Have Kids?

posted 12 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
1511 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden

When I was in my 20’s, I was 100% against having kids. I never thought I’d have any.

As I approached 30, I thought that maybe I’d like to have one.

I’m still feeling the same way 5 years later. The boy is undecided but I think that eventually, he’ll decide that having a kid will be great. But all of the stuff that’s been going on with kids in our country  lately (Phoebe Prince killing herself because of bullies, Constance McMillan being ostracized because she’s gay) makes me feel like maybe I don’t want to bring a kid into this world.

Post # 4
Member
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

i think about that all the time. if you would have asked me two years ago if i planned on having children, my answer was down right “no.” i think my mind has started to change, but it’s really not a priority. i’ll keep swallowing that birth control until my mind is totally made up.

Post # 5
Member
6980 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

me! I was always staunchly anti- kid. I told everyone that i would never have kids. Then I met Fiance and he really wanted kids and he seemed like he’d be such a good dad and suddenly I started thinking maybe having a life centered around family rather than one centered around work/husband only would be a good thing? Ironically I was so anti-kids the first year we were dating I kind of talked him out of them! Now I’m am thinking I maybe want them and he’s thinking he maybe doesn’t haha. I need to be careful about what arguments I win I guess!!

Post # 6
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2022

The jury is definitely out.  So much to think about.  But I commend all of you responsible women (and your SO’s) for thinking the decision through beforehand.  That is definitely the right approach, regardless of your final decision.  So many people have children without really examining their lives and their resources first.  That is a true injustice to the child before he/she is ever born. 

Post # 7
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2022

P.S. I definitely understand accidents happen and I’m not trying to be mean or offend anyone that reads this thread.  Just my personal opinion – please don’t misread.

Post # 8
Member
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2022

I am DEFINITELY not sure which tends to surprise everyone because I love decorating, scapbooking, baking and sending out cards for holidays live, I in a house with a picket fence,and I work in education. Sometimes I really wish I were excited about it, but I don’t believe not wanting children makes me any less of a person/woman (as several people I know have insinuated); I think it’s a matter of knowing yourself and finding peace with the contribution you want to make to the world no matter what it is.

Post # 9
Member
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We’re pretty sure we don’t want kids, but occasionally I’ll think maybe… but then I swing back to definitely not. I like other people’s kids, but I think we might be content with our cat and one day, a dog too. Preferably a golden from the rescue group. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am 100% positive that I will *never* have kids, and, fortunately, Fiance is on board with that.  I knew since I was 4 years old that I never wanted them, and I told Fiance on our second date that if he *had* to have kids that I wasn’t the one for him.  

And, contrary to popular belief, I had an awesome childhood and am very close to my family.

Post # 11
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’m completely unsure. I’m still in my mid-20s so I have time, and my husband and I agreed we’d wait to have kids until we’re older (like late 30s, early 40s). I love my lifestyle right now. Quiet weekend mornings. Travel whenever we need to. I go straight home after work and make a quick dinner for two. It’s pretty easy compared to the life of having kids. I’m not sure if I want to sacrifice that.

My husband is leaning toward kids, and each year, I lean a little more than way, too, but we’ll see! It’s that whole creating a life and bringing it into the world thing that gets me. We both did agree, however, that if one decides they want kids, and the other still does not, we’ll have to be okay with that. As in, life with each other without kids is better than life with kids and without each other.

Post # 12
Member
8941 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

My husband and I are not sure about kids at all.  I have a few cousins my age that already have them and friends that are talking about having them soon but I just don’t want any!

Post # 13
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

My Fiance and I have had this conversation a few times. I was never that girl who couldnt wait to get married and pop out babies. My sister is that mini van mom but I could never be. My Fiance was previously married and they had two children. Ages 6 and 9 now. She cheated and they divorced and him and I got together and I am their step mom 🙂 Its so weird to say the least. To be honest I love them dearly but this definitely made my decision not to have children stronger. He is fine with it. We have our mommy daddy days and then we have a week off to ourselves. Its like the best of both worlds and I will never have to go through child birth hahaha j/k but if I get that itch I can babysit my sisters..  Wink

Post # 14
Member
1261 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I always figured I want to have kids someday, but lately I’ve been thinking “if we couldn’t or didn’t have kids I’d be all right with it”. My thing is that I don’t feel the need to deliberately try, but if something unexpected happened I’d be okay with it.

Post # 15
Member
369 posts
Helper bee

I definitely don’t know if I want them or not!  It kind of irritates me when people in my life (parents, collegues, friends) are shocked when I mention it and start telling me all the reasons why I *have* to have kids.  I do NOT have to have kids!  If I have them, it will be because my Fiance and I decided that it was right for us.

Its a tough one though – there are so so so many reasons why I don’t want to have kids.  But there are a couple small reasons why I might want to have them, and I’m slightly scared that if I ignore them i’ll regret it at like 60!

Post # 16
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i definitely don’t know. if you asked me 4 years ago it would be a straight up “hells no”… but now i think, “ok maybe”..but not 100%..and i feel like its something you should know you want. Fiance wants them i think, but still sometimes says that we’ll never have kids… ugh who knows!!! Undecided

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