Post # 1

Member
68 posts
Worker bee
i wasn’t nervous til now less then two months til the wedding and people keep telling me and my fiance that after we get married ill become clingy and he will act trapped and its starting to make me really nervous. we have lived together for 2 years now and i don’t understand why anything would change. nervous please help!
Post # 3

Member
9074 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
Nothing changed for us. Think of marriage as dating, only it’s a bit harder to break up.
Post # 5

Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Nothing has changed and that’s the way I like it!
Post # 6

Member
4284 posts
Honey bee
@clockwerk: The only thing that has changed is now we are TTC. Marriage is what you make of it. If you don’t want it to change don’t let it.
Post # 7

Member
7446 posts
Busy Beekeeper
What is making you feel like you’ll become clingy?
Post # 8

Member
1611 posts
Bumble bee
@clockwerk: Not much has changed for us. We stay home a lot more currently to save money and fix up our house, but I think that is more a result of the fact that we just bought a house in the last year and not because we got married. I think it is what you make of it. Some people feels like it should change, so their actions show that.
Post # 9

Member
791 posts
Busy bee
The only thing that changed for us was my last name. We lived together for 2yrs before as well, and we already had shared finances. I agree with the other ladies, it’s what you make of it.
Post # 10

Member
3081 posts
Sugar bee
Minor things changed. Fights are a little different – because we’re clearly in it for the long haul and it’s more about figuring things out together versus just having a fight. But other than that, not much. We’re still away from each other quite a bit due to travel for work, and we’re both fine with that. Definitely no more clingy or trapped from either of us.
I agree that it is what you make of it. Don’t stress.
Post # 11

Member
7206 posts
Busy Beekeeper
I asked my FIc what would change and he said “well now we can be together forever!” But like a PP said I don’t expect much to change but it will be harder to break up!
Post # 12

Member
763 posts
Busy bee
Nothing really changed for us yet. I’ve never been “clingy” and he’s never felt “trapped” so we’re fairly independent and I don’t hold him back and he doesnt hold me back. the only things that are starting to change is that we are now trying to find our own identity as a family so to speak: what holidays we spend where, family vacations etc… and of course children will change things when that time comes, but thats what committing to marriage essentially is: agreeing to go through life making your own family unit and with that comes some roadblocks and bumps and all that rot. Will your relationship change? well sure but can you honestly say you are the same person and he is the same person from when you first met? I know I can’t. As people keep saying, its what you make it.
Post # 13

Member
1951 posts
Buzzing bee
@kate02121: That’s the only thing that’s changed for us. Disagreements are now about important issues, and we both work harder to resolve the problem because there is more at stake.
Also, I find that I think of my husband more (during the day) and there’s a deeper connection between us. Other than that, not much has changed.
Post # 14

Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
Not much has changed that I can tell. We were already living together and already had a baby a few months premarriage.
I was going to take his last name legally, but due to certain things beyond SS card and what-not that I had my name on prior to the marriage (one of them being a birth control prescription that is in effect until January of next year or until I max out my refills, whichever comes first), it was deemed more practical to leave it as is indefinitely. However, I’m free to use his last name socially (such as on Facebook, on the church attendance booklet or say, if my son and I join a playgroup at some point). The only other things that had changed was me being eligible to be put on Dh’s insurance (which we took care of earlier this month) and my name was added to a deposit box that he has.
Post # 15

Member
79 posts
Worker bee
@clockwerk: I haven’t been married yet….BUT I can tell you that I have a lot of close friends who have been! And from all of those couples, nothing changed!!!! Actually, I’ve heard the exact opposite of this post. A lot of people get married thinking it will change things, it never does, and then they are unhappy! So for you to be worried that things WILL change is just a testament as to how great you guys are for each other 😀
Post # 16

Member
3063 posts
Sugar bee
Not much has changed. There is a stronger sense of unity between us, which I didn’t really think was possible pre-wedding. I feel like I am more patient with him and with things in general now, which is surprising as well. But in general, it’s still mostly the same. 