(Closed) is anything going to change after the wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 17
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Damn, people are trying to scare you!! Nothing changed for us, except that I have his name now (which is awesome!) I wouldn’t worry too much. 🙂

Post # 18
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Nothing changed. Some people say fights changed because you know you are in for the long haul. But we knew that before the wedding too. So again, nothing changed!

 

I really think the only people that experience big change are the ones who have not lived together.

Post # 19
Member
1555 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wouldn’t put too much stock into what people are telling you. It seems like some people try to deter others from getting married, saying they’ll regret it, etc. It is what you make of it. For us, we already lived together, so my last name was the only real change. & being legally married on paper. Other than that, it is the same as a committed relationship, in my eyes.

Post # 20
Member
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I lived with my husband for a year before we were married. Not a whole lot changed. Like another poster mentioned, what we argue about is a bit different now.  We don’t argue any more or less than before. Neither of us became clingy and neither felt “trapped.”  

Post # 21
Member
415 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

That sounds like the type of thing single male friends say when they’re sad to lose another single guy friend.  Or tyring to explain to themselves why they haven’t been able to find someone.  I feel two things are different for me: 1) a greater sense of unity/shared future, and 2) the relief of not planning a wedding anymore (loved it, but definitely put stress on our relationship).  Married people might turn away from their friends a little to focus on children/houses, etc., but the people in the marriage aren’t sad about that.

Post # 22
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

How would getting married suddenly make you more clingy and him feel trapped?  I’m thinking that the people who are telling you this have a really cinical view on marriage, which is too bad.  Don’t worry about it! Marriage is absolutely wonderful and a great adventure!

Post # 23
Member
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

We have lived together for maybe 5 years. I honestly doubt things will change. Sure, you will continue to grow as people (and a couple) but I cant imagine tons of of new negative things will pop up unless you arent ready for the marriage.

Post # 24
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Whoever is saying things like that to you is foolish. I did not live with my husband before marriage and I guarantee you he does not feel trapped and I am definitely not clingy. If anything, I’m less clingy than before we got married. Not the best example, but I’ll go for it anyway. Before we got married we used to text a lot throughout the day. Not from either one of us being clingy per se (that’s why it isn’t the best example), but because we felt like we wanted that connection and we were both a little more hungry for certain attention we weren’t getting by not living together, etc. Now, knowing I’m coming home to him every day, we usually don’t text all that much during the day when we’re both at work. Sometimes I’ll have something important happen to me and I’ll wait till I come home to discuss it with him in person. These are small ways that we have sort of redefined the boundaries in our relationship since getting married. The opposite of clingy or him feeling trapped. 

Post # 25
Member
4354 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Nothing changed for us except that I’m pregnant, so I guess a lot has changed but all for the better!

I think @RoyalLime:  said it best, marriage is what you make of it. Darling Husband and I lived together for 2 years before getting married and everything has been the same for us. I found that moving in together was a bigger adjustment because you need to learn how to live with someone who has different habits than you do but you’ve both already figured that part out!

Post # 26
Member
2081 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@clockwerk:  Don’t listen to other people’s expectations of your own feelings. Worrying about this is like paying debt on something that is not owed. For the most part, your status changes to “married” and it signifies a firm commitment. It’s harder to undo than a break-up but I think these things are known before going into it. After you’re married you may change your name, ss card, license, and other legal documents, as well.

Post # 28
Member
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

No nothing changed. Which is a good thing.

Post # 29
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Things are the same for us as well! There is a definitely feeling of “permanence” that is new… but that’s about it. 

The topic ‘is anything going to change after the wedding?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors