(Closed) MOH Dilemma…Trying to not let one best friend feel left out…Help!

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think it’s fair to call someone your best friend while also indicating you aren’t close.  So, if it were me, I wouldn’t even be considering this girl, because I only wanted people I was close to me to be standing up with me.

I would also caution against asking someone else to be a second Maid/Matron of Honor almost six months after the fact, particularly if the first Maid/Matron of Honor hasn’t done anything wrong.  She’s going to feel slighted, and the other girl might feel like an after-thought. 

Post # 3
Member
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Honestly, they’re just titles.  Anyone who would be offended by being a “bridesmaid” vs. “maid of honour” needs to get a grip.

Post # 4
Member
7973 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

are you only having those 3 in the bridal party?  do they even need titles?

Post # 5
Member
619 posts
Busy bee

Oh man. I actually have a really similar situation with bridesmaids, and what I decided to do is just not have a maid of honor. I just have 4 bridesmaids. And oddly enough am about to add a bridesman 😂. But no maid/matron of honor works for me. 

I know that doesn’t help your situation, as you’ve already asked the one. I kind of think it’s your wedding and you can do what you want. If you are best friends with these people they should understand. So you can ask your other bff to be a maid of honor and you can be straight up “I really don’t want you to feel like an afterthought. I wanted you to be a maid of honor but wasn’t sure if I could do that/leave people out, and then I thought screw it! I love you will you be my maid of honor??” Anyone can understand that awkward situations sometimes make people tread really lightly…and maybe not say/ask what they should in a timely manner.

 

Also, I’m so sorry to hear about friend number 3 but so glad she is better! I feel like her illness has nothing to do with your wedding and people would not make that connection. If they did, that would be so petty. 

Post # 6
Member
8454 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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ladysizly :  I would just leave it the way it is. It’s expected that there will be a Maid/Matron of Honor, and the non-MOH BMs should be ok with that. You’re saying “I love all of you so much but I have to choose one so I choose this one.” But when you have 3 people and give TWO of them the “of honor” title and not the other, that’s different. That’s saying “I love these 2 so much that I couldn’t possibly pick between them, and this 3rd person is ok too.” Why do you feel you need to make the second one a co-MOH?

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