(Closed) Is being a new mom really that bad?

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 17
Member
4505 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m 6 weeks pp and am happy to report that it really hasn’t been that bad! In fact, compared to going to work every day, my life is much more pleasant and less stressful now. Of course there are trade-offs: I can’t just go out and do whatever I want whenever I want, but I HAVE managed to maintain a somewhat normal existence. 

I have left the house every single day. I have showered, put on normal clothes, and made myself presentable almost every day (those first few days back home I was going topless and wearing maternity sweats…but that phase doesn’t last long). We have been able to cook dinner like we usually do–we did not freeze meals beforehand. We have entertained houseguests, we have traveled out of state twice (once to attend a wedding), and we have gone to friends’ homes for meals. 

As for what we can’t do, going to restaurants with the baby is hard, so we just don’t try it. I also don’t have as much time to do errands and hang out on my own as I used to. My husband and I try to give each other about 1.5-2 hours free each evening to go do what we need to do. I usually use this time to go for a long walk/run, which means if I want to get my nails done or go shopping, I can, but I sacrifice my walk. 

Anyway, this is all a very long way of saying that life definitely goes on post-baby–there’s hope!  I don’t think we have a particularly easy baby, either–she’s normal. She sleeps and eats a lot, and she has her crying periods every day. So don’t worry–you’ll shower! You’ll have time to tend to yourself. 

Post # 19
Member
6887 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

It depends on the child, I know with my son I would time it so we could go out and do a few things in between his feedings.  He was a premie, so spent time in the NCIU and they had him on a feeding schedule which we tried to keep once got home.  I would usually shower when either he was sleeping and I had the baby monitor with me or when my Darling Husband got home.

 

I think it is worse now that he is a toddler, he has to have supervision all the time, toddlers are quick and can and will get into trouble if you don’t watch them closely.  My Darling Husband was out of town over the weekend and pretty much only time showered was after he went to bed. 

Post # 20
Member
2085 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I don’t have kids, but I have friends with kids and siblings etc.  I’ve been over and hung out with them with new borns in the house and they have time to do their hair and shower and everything.  I’ve asked them about how hard or easy it is adjusting…

They’ve generally said it’s been quite smooth.  Luckily most have had babies that sleep most of the night if not the entire night… They bring the monitor with them when they shower, shower quick while baby sleeps. 

New borns sleep for long stretches… they don’t need to be held constantly.  My nephew when he was first born would sleep an hour or 2, wake up and eat, then fall right back to sleep.

But like I said I haven’t been there yet, and not every baby is mellow obviously.  Just from the many new moms I’m friends with, I’ve yet to hear one of them say they don’t have time for showers, make up, nails etc.  

Post # 21
Member
10363 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’d be pretty psyched to wear my yoga pants and comfy clothes every day, haha. I think if you have an involved and supportive husband, a daily shower should not be a problem. It only takes me like 10 minutes to shower. I only paint my townails once every month or so….definitely don’t think that’ll be a priority. Makeup also only takes 5 minutes, and my hair air dries curly with a little product, so that won’t be a huge change, either.

Any way you slice it, it’s a TEMPORARY phase, and nesting at home isn’t the worst thing in the world 🙂

Post # 22
Member
1760 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Honestly I think it all depends on the baby, support at home, and family/friends that could help. My first few weeks were easy. Baby slept a lot so shower, shave, hair, make food & eat, do chores… Easy. Week 5-now i’ve been tending to a needy baby on very little sleep. Yes I shower every day (but it might be 9pm), yes I manage to go out every day, chores & eating are my “me time” now. So it all depends. 

Post # 23
Member
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well I have a 8 week old and I’ve showered almost every day! Sometimes I do it at night while hubby takes care of her, but a lot of times I just put her in her rock n play in the bathroom and she loves the sound of the shower so she lays there happily while I shower.

the first month we didnt go out much because I didn’t want her around big crowds, but I’d run to the store or Target and my husband would stay home with her so I could get out. 

as of last week I’ve gotten her out of the house every day. We’ve met people for lunch, had lunch just the 2 of us, went to  babies R Us, the park. 

Im sure its harder if your baby is born in the winter. I’m glad it’s summer so it’s nice out and not cold/flu season so we can get out and about. 

 

Post # 24
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think a big part of it is women having children young, way before they’re ready (even if they think they are) and then the experience is too overwhelming, both emotionally and financially.

My friends who’ve had kids older haven’t complained nearly as much as those who had them younger.

Post # 26
Member
4581 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It’s that bad, but only for the first month or so, then it gets easier.

It’s a huge adjustment learning to operate on someone else’s schedule instead of your own, but you get used to it. I had a lot of help in the beginning, but now it’s just me and Dear Daughter (12 weeks old) all day every day and we do just fine. I sometimes don’t get to have breakfast until after noon, but I shower every day, while she’s napping. You figure out what works eventually.

Post # 27
Member
2123 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

@ladychatterley:  I haven’t heard anyone talk about these things, but maybe I’m still naiive (1 year away from ttc).

Eww, I’m not giving up showers for my baby though! My plan would be when hubby gets home from work to soothe the baby (and if it’s screaming he can just hold the writhing little one!) so I can have a bath/shower etc, and we’ll be living in the same city as the In-Laws so I can just bring the baby over sometimes and leave the baby with them for a bit while I shower there (my In-Laws LOVE taking care of the grandkids they already have).

 

Post # 28
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

It depends on the baby, and your situation. With my first son I was on my own and it was exhausting! and so hard.

This time I’m hoping it’s easier, since I’m not a single mom this time.

Post # 29
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Each situation is different. After my first was born, I was wired. Newborns sleep a lot but I was too strung up to sleep. I was afraid of SIDS and had to peep on her occasionally to make sure she was still breathing. Being a mother to a second child is more relaxing. You don’t care about a lot of things.

 

There are mothers who bounce back into their regular old way of living and have baby fit into their lifestyle and there are mothers who adjust their lifestyles to suit the baby.

 

There are babies who sleep a lot and easy to care for while there are some who may have tummy problems, cry A LOT and may need extra attention!

 

If it’s one thing I’ve learnt is that you shouldn’t take other persons experience and expect the same for you. I was scared of going into natural labor due to all of the Birth Day shows I’ve seen but I did it naturally in less than an hour for both kids (2 and 3 years old). I was expecting hours of labor.

 

I adjusted my lifestyle to suit my kids. Sleeping in is no longer a thing for me and I feel guilty taking long showers knowing that my bambinos are not supervised.

 

I’d feel bad to put down a baby who is probably bawling horribly due to colic or something just to wash my hair… easier said than done to put down baby and wash hair.  

 

Post # 30
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

No no it’s not bad at all 🙂 I shower everyday. Newborns sleep like 18 hours a day. There is enoug time to shower. I have an easy baby though who naps in his crib so I was able to do my thing while the slept. 

Post # 31
Member
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1993

I have a 3 week old. It is not easy (And no, I’m not a young mum; I’m 30). I EBF and my baby doesn’t like to nap in the day. She has pretty bad colic at the moment, so if she isn’t feeding, she tends to be screaming her head off. As I’m the only one who can feed her (I can’t get anything if I pump), she won’t settle with Darling Husband. As such, my world revolves around her. Not a complaint, just the reality.

Showers are possible. Sweat pants are a lifesaver. Makeup? What’s the point? Being a new mom isn’t bad at all (I wouldn’t change it for the world), but be prepared for everything to change.

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