- Mrs. DG
- 9 years ago
- Wedding: July 2009
Before I get to recapping the DG wedding, I wanted to start with some thoughts on the marriage.
I’ve heard many people say that being married is not too much different than being engaged, especially for couples that have been living together. I saw Mrs. Glitter recently discuss the issue in one of her blog posts.
I have to say, that for me, I was totally blindsided by how completely different it feels to be married as compared to being engaged. I was especially shocked because we’ve been living together for our entire engagement, so in all practical senses nothing is really changing.
But for some weird reason, I feel like things are *completely* different and I’m absolutely loving it!
During our honeymoon I tried to reflect on what makes being married so different for me/spouse. Most people say that it is really hard to explain, but it “is just different”, so here I am attempting to put it into words.
First, I feel an overwhelming sense of security. I think part of this feeling stems from the fact that I had a somewhat variable upbringing. My parents are still together and love us kids the best they can, but consistency in that love is not what I would consider their strong suit. Leaving them half-way down the aisle to walk the rest of the way myself was the most electrifying and amazing feeling! I felt freer yet more supported than I ever had before. Weird, huh? The love that I have with Mr. DG feels constant, and now permanent. And I have to say that it’s the BEST feeling in the world.
Secondly, we expressed our love in front of a whole bunch of people. I am not a mushy person. I wouldn’t tell Mr. DG that I loved him for the first 9 months of our relationship. I believed that the “L” word (love) was only reserved for good gear. At our wedding, I let all my large self-protective walls tumble down. I got misty eyed. He got misty eyed. We kissed. In front of people. A Lot! We laid ourself bare in front of all of our friends and family. Letting our feelings show in that way was extremely liberating. Having people understand and support that feeling gives us more freedom of expression and allows the emotions to be more present in our daily lives together. It has made a huge difference!
Thirdly, I have a new family and they are fabulous! See number 1 above to get a glimmer of my upbringing. His family epitomizes the opposite of that. They are consistent and supportive and amazing. Just knowing that such strong support is there for us makes me feel completely different.
We are having so much fun and feel a humming, electrical sense of joy since we were married and it is a beautiful thing!
So how has being married been different for you? Have you not felt much of a change? Please share your thoughts, because it has been really been difficult to figure out how to express the experience! I wonder if the drastic change for me has a lot to do with my previous history with my family, although Mr. DG has said that he’s felt a pretty big shift too.