(Closed) Is “Black Tie Preferred” obnoxious/rude?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
722 posts
Busy bee

If you want black tie, just say black tie. If you want guests to have an option, I would say black tie optional. I agree that black tie preferred sounds a little off.

Post # 5
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

If you list anything about black tie, it implies you want them to buy a tux. You could just say “formal attire” or “semi-formal” which to me, both indicate dress pants, a dres shirt, and a tie for men and a cocktail dress for women. Also if your invitations look fancy, that’ll imply it’s a nicer wedding too

Post # 6
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Maybe instead of “black tie” you could say “formal attire encouraged”?

Post # 8
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Well..I guess that “black tie” is really the only way to get across the fact that you want them to wear tuxes….but, a lot of people don’t HAVE tuxes, and you said you don’t want people to go out and rent them soo…maybe you’re just going to have to bite the bullet on this one? You can’t control what everybody wears, try as you might (and wish as you might!).

Post # 9
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t think you can specify “suit attire” necessarily. There is black tie and there is nothing.

Seriously guys do not wear their coats, even with a tux they’ll be taking them off. They’re really quite hot.

It’s not unusual for groomsmen+dads to be in tuxes and bridesmaids and older women to wear long gowns and the wedding still be “formal attire”

I don’t think black tie optional is going to make everyone think “hmm, i COULD wear a tux, but now i’m going to wear a suit and tie”

Honestly most of the older men will wear suit jackets. It’s the ones who are in their 20’s who won’t.

Post # 11
Hostess
4665 posts
Honey bee

I would go with “black-tie optional”. It still let’s guests know that the wedding will be formal, but if they don’t own or don’t want to rent a tux they do not neccessairly have to. But still need to dress up at the same time w/ suit and etc.

Post # 12
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’d go with “black tie optional.”

Post # 13
Member
722 posts
Busy bee

hilsy85- It will mostly depend on what is traditional in your area,  but I think you will only have a problem with the younger guys. Perhaps you fiance and the groomsmen could spread your preferences by word of mouth to their friends.

Post # 14
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

I think “black tie optional” is good.  For the people who don’t own tuxes, they’ll know that it’s formal enough to warrant a full suit, not just the pants, shirt, and tie.  Even if you didn’t put anything, I think most guys would show up in a full suit.  That’s pretty standard wedding attire for men.  Do you want women to wear long or short dresses?  If an invite says black tie, I’m going for a long dress.  If it doesn’t, then I’m going with a nice cocktail dress.

Post # 16
Member
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Black tie optional, to me, is the wording that people are used to seeing. I think it gets across the message you are going for.

The topic ‘Is “Black Tie Preferred” obnoxious/rude?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors