(Closed) Is chivalry dying/dead…& do you classify your SO as a gentleman? Poll

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Is chivalry dying? Is your SO a gentleman?
    Girl, chivalry is on it's last leg! : (37 votes)
    7 %
    It's not as common, but I still see it from time to time : (164 votes)
    29 %
    I see it often : (37 votes)
    7 %
    My SO is definitely a gentleman : (195 votes)
    35 %
    My SO has his moments : (113 votes)
    20 %
    My SO doesn't classify as a gentleman : (14 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4606 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I voted that I see it sometimes and my FH is a gentlemen. I think that chivalry is a little more common in the south because most southern men were brought up to open doors for any lady and to treat their SO’s like queens. Of course, not everyone is like that here, but FH always opens doors for me or any other lady. He pulls my chair out for me when we go out to eat and lots of other little things that I consider to be gentlemenly. 

    I do agree though that it is on the decline.

    Post # 4
    Member
    7220 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    He opens doors, tucks my skirt into the car before closing the door, buys me flowers, stands up for me, respects me, never makes me drive (because I hate it), brings me coffee while I get dressed, gives me his coat when it’s cold, stands on the street side when we walk down the sidewalk….. Yeah. My man’s a total gentleman.

    Post # 5
    Member
    6359 posts
    Bee Keeper

    He is a true gentleman, and a feminist.

    I wouldn’t really call it “chivalry.” I’d say he has excellent manners and knows how to treat a lady (hint: with respect!)… but he doesn’t act like I’m incapable in any way.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4035 posts
    Honey bee

    @Galang_Gyal:  My Fiance respects, cares and sticks up for me. He does sweet things and buys occasional gifts, and I do the same for him. It is mutual respect and love.

    He doesn’t open doors for me or pull out the chair, but I really don’t want him to. I am perfectly capable of doing it myself and while it would be a nice gesture, I would probably get annoyed if he always insisted. That would make me feel helpless.

    I believe in equal footing in a relationship and that no one person goes beyond reasonable efforts to “please” their partner. I am not against chivalry, but I don’t think it’s fair to expect that men display these “chivalrous actions” or to look down on guys who don’t do it.

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    4495 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    My Fiance grew up in an idyllic, quaint conservative little town in Iowa. He is a gentleman through and through. I grew up in a more urban, liberal environment in the Baltimore/DC area and I definitely see extreme differences in FI’s attitude as opposed to those of the people that I grew up around. I don’t think this is always the case, but I do think that there are definite regional differences that affect and influence someone’s manners. I went to college in Texas and there was definitely an obvious difference in hospitality, chivalry, manners, etc.

    Post # 8
    Member
    955 posts
    Busy bee

    I agree with PP about being in the south and still seeing it.  Of the men I’ve dated I would say that Fiance is the most gentlemanly.  My long time ex was quite the opposite and when I started to date people afterward I found it really awkward when they tried to pay for dinner. I must say, I prefer a gentleman.  I love the Fiance opens doors for me, offers to carry my bags, etc. 

    This made me think of an article I read recently.  They believe there’s a link between chivalry and sexism.  I woudln’t say I agree, but it is an interesting topic.

     

    http://www.prevention.com/health/emotional-health/both-women-and-men-display-attitudes-benevolent-sexism

    Post # 9
    Member
    1077 posts
    Bumble bee

    My SO has had strangers stop him on the street to compliment him on how chivalrous he is to me! For us it’s a give and take though, if I get to the door first I open it for him and vice versa. 

    ETA: We both hail from the Pacific Northwest so I don’t think it’s a South thing, just a way that some people are raised. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    4606 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @Galang_Gyal:  The only issue I do have with it here is that some men seem to think that chivalry is important because women are delicate and incapable. I know some women around here don’t like it for that reason. Sure, I open my door myself sometimes but FH also knows that I can take care of myself, he just does it because it’s a courteous gesture and he wants to. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    309 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @MexiPino:  My Fiance is exactly the same way, except that I hate coffee so he brings me tea. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 14
    Member
    6743 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Chivalry is dead in NY.  But not where I moved in SC!  And my Fiance is quite the Southern Gentleman – he opens doors for me, including my car door, holds out my seat for me, holds my bags for me (even when we’re at the mall shopping!), gives me his sweater when I’m cold, he always thinks of me first, etc.. I love it!  I love it not because I can’t do all these things myself but because it’s nice that he wants to do them all for me.  Sometimes I’ll open the door for him though ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 15
    Member
    1106 posts
    Bumble bee

    It seems that for the majority of men, it WAS dying but it is now starting to come back.  SO however was in a youth organiation that promoted chivalry and had great mentors growing up so he knows how to be the perfect gentleman! He was also a Boy Scout.  ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 16
    Member
    1671 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    My man is the perfect gentleman. He opens doors, buys me flowers for no reason, holds my purse. If I’m cold he will give me his jacket. He always gives me the last bite of food. He always asks me what I want to do, where I want to go. He always makes sure I’m awake and brings me coffee or breakfast. When I’m sick he makes me comfortable and takes care of me. 

    I’m his princess. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

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