(Closed) Is December too late to send out thank you notes?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
5152 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

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Kld37:  To be honest, I think you should get them out sooner. Set aside 2-3 hours on a Sunday to get them all done and make your husband help you. You could use the time you took to post this to write some. I understand you are busy with school and work, but I find it hard to believe that you have absolutely no time to do notes until December (what about Thanksgiving break, etc?). 

I had mine out within two weeks of returning from our honeymoon. I know that’s a bit ridiculous but I sat down one day and just banged them all out. 

Post # 17
Member
3238 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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Kld37:  Three months is not ideal, it’s way late. Ideal is before you use a gift or cash a check, or ASAP there after. I am a full time student (16 hours) and work full time (40 hours a week) and I would stay up late, wake up early or write thank yous on my lunch break before I let three plus months go by. Everyone is busy, you had time to get married, possibly go on a honeymoon, and post on weddingbee. Make time to thank your guests for taking time out of their busy schedules and the money out of their budgets for you. 

Post # 18
Member
4239 posts
Honey bee

That’s way too long. Just do them

I took 21 credits my last semester of university, and had a part time job, plus some volunteer work. I know how it is to overload in courses and have other responsibilities but guess what? Everyone else is busy too. Surely you can find 30 minutes/night to do some. Plus, why isn’t your husband helping you?

Post # 19
Member
4499 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Just get them over with. People may start bugging you (“Did you receive that pewter squirrel sculpture I sent you?!?”); you don’t want to have to deal with that. 

I get that you’re busy, but as others are saying, EVERYone is busy. Just do them (and yeah,your husband should be writing at least half of them!), and you won’t have it hanging over your head. Believe me, after the semester ends you’re just going to want to relax, not write cards, so…there really never is a perfect time. 

Post # 21
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I agree with three months being the max. If you are overwhelmed write out a few each day. Even two day is 14 a week. Hold them all to mail at once though. In my family, god forbid Aunt Theresa get hers two weeks before Aunt Sue!

Post # 22
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Get on those, girl! I know you’ve already heard this from a lot of Bees, but yes, that is way too long to wait. We’re all busy – I’m a business owner and it can be incredibly difficult to find the time and motivation to write them. However, I’ve been sending thank you notes within a few days of receiving each gift and it has definitely been noticed and appreciated.

As a side rant, I can’t believe a one year grace period was ever considered acceptable. Maybe back in the days when the mail took weeks/months to make it anywhere?!

Post # 23
Member
601 posts
Busy bee

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Kld37:  I went on my honeymoon, worked full time, and went to school full time and still got mine out within 8 weeks. take 20 minutes every night to do as many as you can until they are done. Everyone is busy, that’s life but they fit a whole day into their schedule for your wedding you can fit 5 minutes into yours for their thank you card. 

Post # 24
Member
47440 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Lesson to brides- to- be: write your thank-you notes as the gifts arrive before the wedding. Mentally, it’s so much easier to look at 1-2 notes per day for that day’s gifts, than to look at the sum total of gifts after the wedding.

Post # 25
Member
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I have never received a thank you note for anything so I don’t think 3months is that bad Compared to nothing at all. 

Post # 26
Member
47440 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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bubbycakes:  As many of our mothers used to say “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”

Post # 27
Member
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

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julies1949:  I’m not saying it’s the right thing to do but often on here we see threads with ladies commenting that it’s now too late or they are scared of being judged and then just don’t bother sending them at all if they end up behind. I just think that I would rather receive one 3 months on and think that the person at least tried compared to now days where I rarely receive a thanks for anything and I can’t even receive my rsvps back for my wedding when I have already addressed and stamped them for the guests. People just don’t seem to be very good at common courtesy these days unfortunately. 

Post # 28
Member
437 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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Kld37:  send them whenever you can! Some wedding etiquette honestly is crazy! You got married in September, December is absolutely fine! At least yoy are sending them! 🙂 x

Post # 29
Member
3238 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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catgirl:  How is thanking someone in a timely fashion for spending time, money, vacation days and a gift on coming to YOUR wedding crazy? Some brides really are so selfish. 

Post # 30
Member
437 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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carolinabelle:  not being selfish at all! I just meant give her a break! She is still sending them out! We had to wait for our photos back to make ours and we put loads of time and energy in to making them and sending them out to guests and they were out within 6 weeks so i don’t think that makes me selfish! We were super grateful for all the people who came and took the time and effort to and were generous with their time and gifts!<br />All i meant is the strict rules that some people seem to impose! “invites have to be out within 2 months etc etc” who makes up these rules?! in the UK it really isnt like that!

I get etiquette but i normally receive thankyou cards from weddings i have been to within 3 months or more and would never think badly of a friend or thought that had poor etiquette if it was longer!

 

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