(Closed) IS DH too particular about food or am I just taking it personally?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Well, when you treat someone like a princess, they’re going to act that way…

Not trying to be mean, but why are you letting him basically treat you like a cook at a restaurant?  If he doesn’t like what you cook, he should have to cook it himself…

Post # 4
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Leemarie:  I think the term princess is too nice, to be honest.  I would continue cooking for 3, and days he doesn’t like it, I would let him take care of himself and would save that extra portion for my lunch the next day. I think you catering to his whims probably encourages his behavior.

i would not have offered to get my husband a burger or taco after offering him two different meals at home. I also wouldn’t have stopped making the chicken just because he mentioned he doesn’t like it.

Post # 5
3553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Honestly, if he doesn’t want to eat my cooking he can fend for himself. I would be super insulted if Fiance asked for take out after I made dinner, and especially after I made him a different dinner (not something I’m likely to do in the first place). One of the ways I show Fiance that I love him is by making him delicious food. He knows this and would never insult me like that.

Post # 6
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

No he is being an asshole. Tell him to man up and eat his god damn food without the childlike behavior.

Sorry I have no patience for that kind of behavior and would altogether just stop cooking dinner if he took that attitude with me. I definitely wouldn’t offer to pick him up any fast food or takeout either..especially if I had just went through all the trouble earlier to make that delicious sounding meal. It sounds like you try hard to make a good dinner with his preferences in mind and yet he still thinks he’s entitled to better. Good grief. Undecided

Post # 7
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Leemarie:  He’s being a Total princess!

I’d be pissed. My Darling Husband never has or gets to have an opinion on the food I cook other than “Thanks honey. That was delicious!”

My advice is to cook what you want. Stop catering to him. He’ll either learn to appreciate it or he’ll start cooking his own meals.

Post # 8
11167 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@Leemarie:  To me it sounds like your Darling Husband is a texture eater and not just picky. As a fellow texture eater I can say with most assurance that we don’t behave like a princess on purpose but the act of eating something with a displeasing texture is nearly impossible without gagging.

I too am unable to eat thick chicken breasts (only thin ones, no bones and cannot have an ounce of fat ANYWHERE), I can only eat very lean beef without bone (if it has fat my Darling Husband has to cut it off), Fish/Ground Beef and most turkey is out of the question, I am strange about tomato texture, I won’t touch pudding/flan/jello or anything that moves on its own, pastas can sometimes become too soft and my mind takes hold and although I love avocado there are times when it can be a bit squishy. That is just the beginning of a very long list of things.

Texture issues are mental and not something that is done on purpose. If this in fact his issue I would chat with him about how he is feeling when it comes to food and find out his “triggers” so to speak and if possible avoid them. Pain in the ass I know.

Post # 10
9198 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I can’t cook at all, so take this with a grain of salt… but what the hell, you aren’t his personal chef!  My fiance is an awesome cook and cooks for us all the time.  I’m not a picky eater so I almost always like it, but if I didn’t, I’d definitely be fending for my own in the kitchen that night.  

I think you should treat him how experts recommend you treat children who are picky eaters – cook one meal that’s reasonably healthy and tasty, and if they don’t like it, tough.  That’s the only option.  (Unless HE wants to go to the taco place, or cook for himself instead.)

Post # 11
2674 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church

@Leemarie: Both Darling Husband and I eat the way your hubby does (and differently from each other). It can be a little irritating if you’re not used to it, but you shouldn’t take it personally.

I do NOT agree with the people above that he’s being a princess and acting like a child. But I do agree that if it’s really difficult at times you should let him fend for himself for dinner. He’s an adult and he knows what he does and does not like. Make an agreement that he has to at least taste things and if he doesn’t like them then he doesn’t like them and you both move on.

The takeout thing in this case was probably just because you mentioned the taco place so he thought that was an acceptable option. Since he had agreed to the meal you did make though, I do think that maybe you shouldn’t have picked up anything for him when you were out.

Edit: I agree with the PP who mentioned that he’s most likely a texture eater. I know for a fact that this is how Darling Husband is for most of his ‘pickiness’ and I’m that way for many things too. Although I do find that taste and texture combined make the difference for me.

Post # 12
544 posts
Busy bee

Why is God’s name are you letting him behave that way? My mom pretty much always told us growing up “You don’t like what I’m cooking? Go hungry. I’m not a restaurant.” and that included my dad as well. You’re treating him like a 5-year old, IMO. Quit encouraging this behavior.

Post # 13
76 posts
Worker bee

I’m going to use the same threory than my parents used with my sisters and I. If someone doesn’t like something, don’t cook it or offer an alternative. But this I like it today and not tommorow nonsense will not fly.

Post # 14
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Leemarie:  If he’s that particular, he can make dinner.  He reminds me of a child, and you the parent, who acquiesces to his every demand. 

Post # 15
7 posts

Someone’s being a bitch here, but it certainly isn’t you my dear. If he’s going to act like a child, then treat him like one – next time he pulls his ‘I only like thin-cut chicken’ shenanigans, you tell him “This is what I’m making for dinner, nothing else. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to eat.” – and follow through. No special extra-dinner, no running through the drive-through/take-out (even if it is on your way).

He’s a grown man, he can figure it out for himself; or if he’s going to be that particular, he can start making dinner instead of you!

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