Post # 1
I’m torn between to stop putting so much effort into dinner, to stop caring if it’s good enough, or finding a solution I haven’t thought of of yet…
So Darling Husband is what I would call a picky eater. For instance, he will eat tomatoe on a caprese salad, but hates them if he can detect them in other dishes, except sauce. Hates avocado, loves guacamole. He tells me he dislikes chicken, but he likes the roasted chickens from the market, prefers chicken enchildas, and has told me before that shake n bake chicken is ok with him too.
Last night took the cheese though. I try to be frugal and use what I have to make well rounded dinners. Not always amazing, but still homemade for our daughter and him. SO…it was going to be shake n bake chicken, freshly mashed potatoes, and steamed broccoli. That’s ok isn’t it?? WELL. he walks in as I’m shaking my shake n bake chicken, analyzes the thickness of the chicken breasts and says “umm no, those are thick breasts, I only like chicken if it’s super thin”. So I wash off my chicken, put it back in a freezer bag for later use, and throw my shake n bake away since it can’t be re used. I then ask him if he would prefer “this”- a bag of Bertolli shrimp/penne. Again not fantastic but there are worst things to grub on, right? And he says ok, he’ll have that. So now, I’m preparing DD’s chicken and mashed potatoes, and heating the bertolli for him, serve him the pasta, and he just pushes it around on his plate. I tel him I’m running to the market, does he want me to grab a burger for him on my way home. He says “what market you going to?” I tell him “the one by the taco place” and he says “oh! I’ll have that mmm”. As in TAKE OUT. Like, put your order in, wait 15 min untill they call you-no drive thru.
Is he being a princess? Or am I just being a bitch about it.
Post # 3
Well, when you treat someone like a princess, they’re going to act that way…
Not trying to be mean, but why are you letting him basically treat you like a cook at a restaurant? If he doesn’t like what you cook, he should have to cook it himself…
Post # 4
@Leemarie: I think the term princess is too nice, to be honest. I would continue cooking for 3, and days he doesn’t like it, I would let him take care of himself and would save that extra portion for my lunch the next day. I think you catering to his whims probably encourages his behavior.
i would not have offered to get my husband a burger or taco after offering him two different meals at home. I also wouldn’t have stopped making the chicken just because he mentioned he doesn’t like it.
Post # 5
Honestly, if he doesn’t want to eat my cooking he can fend for himself. I would be super insulted if Fiance asked for take out after I made dinner, and especially after I made him a different dinner (not something I’m likely to do in the first place). One of the ways I show Fiance that I love him is by making him delicious food. He knows this and would never insult me like that.
Post # 6
No he is being an asshole. Tell him to man up and eat his god damn food without the childlike behavior.
Sorry I have no patience for that kind of behavior and would altogether just stop cooking dinner if he took that attitude with me. I definitely wouldn’t offer to pick him up any fast food or takeout either..especially if I had just went through all the trouble earlier to make that delicious sounding meal. It sounds like you try hard to make a good dinner with his preferences in mind and yet he still thinks he’s entitled to better. Good grief.
Post # 7
@Leemarie: He’s being a Total princess!
I’d be pissed. My Darling Husband never has or gets to have an opinion on the food I cook other than “Thanks honey. That was delicious!”
My advice is to cook what you want. Stop catering to him. He’ll either learn to appreciate it or he’ll start cooking his own meals.
Post # 8
@Leemarie: To me it sounds like your Darling Husband is a texture eater and not just picky. As a fellow texture eater I can say with most assurance that we don’t behave like a princess on purpose but the act of eating something with a displeasing texture is nearly impossible without gagging.
I too am unable to eat thick chicken breasts (only thin ones, no bones and cannot have an ounce of fat ANYWHERE), I can only eat very lean beef without bone (if it has fat my Darling Husband has to cut it off), Fish/Ground Beef and most turkey is out of the question, I am strange about tomato texture, I won’t touch pudding/flan/jello or anything that moves on its own, pastas can sometimes become too soft and my mind takes hold and although I love avocado there are times when it can be a bit squishy. That is just the beginning of a very long list of things.
Texture issues are mental and not something that is done on purpose. If this in fact his issue I would chat with him about how he is feeling when it comes to food and find out his “triggers” so to speak and if possible avoid them. Pain in the ass I know.
Post # 9
@peachacid: I guess I just want to and feel like it’s my job. Also it’s rewarding to me when he loves and raves about something I’ve cooked. But it’s like taking shots in the dark! I can make something I’m sure he’ll love and he may reject it and opt for cereal-it’s that type of night that my feelings get little hurt.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I can’t cook at all, so take this with a grain of salt… but what the hell, you aren’t his personal chef! My fiance is an awesome cook and cooks for us all the time. I’m not a picky eater so I almost always like it, but if I didn’t, I’d definitely be fending for my own in the kitchen that night.
I think you should treat him how experts recommend you treat children who are picky eaters – cook one meal that’s reasonably healthy and tasty, and if they don’t like it, tough. That’s the only option. (Unless HE wants to go to the taco place, or cook for himself instead.)
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church
@Leemarie: Both Darling Husband and I eat the way your hubby does (and differently from each other). It can be a little irritating if you’re not used to it, but you shouldn’t take it personally.
I do NOT agree with the people above that he’s being a princess and acting like a child. But I do agree that if it’s really difficult at times you should let him fend for himself for dinner. He’s an adult and he knows what he does and does not like. Make an agreement that he has to at least taste things and if he doesn’t like them then he doesn’t like them and you both move on.
The takeout thing in this case was probably just because you mentioned the taco place so he thought that was an acceptable option. Since he had agreed to the meal you did make though, I do think that maybe you shouldn’t have picked up anything for him when you were out.
Edit: I agree with the PP who mentioned that he’s most likely a texture eater. I know for a fact that this is how Darling Husband is for most of his ‘pickiness’ and I’m that way for many things too. Although I do find that taste and texture combined make the difference for me.
Post # 12
Why is God’s name are you letting him behave that way? My mom pretty much always told us growing up “You don’t like what I’m cooking? Go hungry. I’m not a restaurant.” and that included my dad as well. You’re treating him like a 5-year old, IMO. Quit encouraging this behavior.
Post # 13
I’m going to use the same threory than my parents used with my sisters and I. If someone doesn’t like something, don’t cook it or offer an alternative. But this I like it today and not tommorow nonsense will not fly.
Post # 14
@Leemarie: If he’s that particular, he can make dinner. He reminds me of a child, and you the parent, who acquiesces to his every demand.
Post # 15
Someone’s being a bitch here, but it certainly isn’t you my dear. If he’s going to act like a child, then treat him like one – next time he pulls his ‘I only like thin-cut chicken’ shenanigans, you tell him “This is what I’m making for dinner, nothing else. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to eat.” – and follow through. No special extra-dinner, no running through the drive-through/take-out (even if it is on your way).
He’s a grown man, he can figure it out for himself; or if he’s going to be that particular, he can start making dinner instead of you!
Post # 16
Thanks for your replies ladies. Another reason it bothers me is that I try my best to shop the sales, plan dinners ahead of time to save money. I frequent the 99 cent store to make sure I get what I can from there before I go to the grocery store. When he is super picky I end up throwing out food which makes me feel like my efforts are all in vain!
I’ve considered waiting until he get’s home to ask him what he feels like having, but by that time I would have already had to cook dinner for my daughter. Plus if he were to say enchiladas or chicken alfredo I would be a bit irritated to start that so late in the evening.