(Closed) Is fidelity dead??

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would try and think about why it bothers you so much?  I know someone who talks about infidelity like it is murder, and it’s because her husband is not faithful to her.  She denies it, but it is common knowledge.  Does it make you worry about your own relationship?  I don’t really care what other people do, as it doesn’t affect me.  

I would not broach the subject with him.


Post # 4
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@thumpurr:  I’d be upset and frustrated too. But perhaps it’s just a rumor.  Maybe if you do have a conversation you can admit that there is a rumor going around about the two of them and you thought he should have a heads-up to clear the air. Because if it’s false, that’s a terrible rumor to spread about someone who is married and the other who is taking care of his sick girlfriend. 

But I guess his initial reaction will confirm the truth.

Post # 5
8453 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

 I don’t really care what other people do, as it doesn’t affect me.

Post # 6
5221 posts
Bee Keeper

@thumpurr:  I feel just as strongly about infidelity as the next person, but come on– obviously the work rumor mill isn’t the most reliable place and just because people are AWOL together doesn’t make them out to be having an affair. I would cut him ( and her) some serious slack. Maybe they are just friends, maybe the don’t even really know each other! Who knows, and if/when you participate in the gossip, ultimately it reflects much more poorly on  you than it does on them :/


Post # 8
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Stuff like that bothers me too, but that isn’t because I’m insecure in my own relationship. I just have empathy for someone who is battling cancer and the love of her life is possibly running around banging some chick while she’s trying to survive. Poor thing! I hope it’s a rumor.

Post # 9
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@thumpurr:  I agree with you. This definatley wouldnt sit well with me. Although their actions and what they do in their own time is inevitably none of your business, i think that rumours dont start from no where and their actions have to be doing something to start those rumours. I dont think you should broach the subject with him, as realy it is none of your business, and it could all well be harmless. Really i have no adivce aside from the situation would irritate me too haha

Post # 10
6359 posts
Bee Keeper

Fidelity isn’t dead, and I wouldn’t be friends with a cheater.

If they’re my friend it’s my business. I would tell them why I can’t continue to be friends with them.

Post # 11
1077 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club

I’d let them know about the rummors going around.

Post # 13
12248 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@thumpurr:  When they told my Dad my Mom was terminal (with cancer), the FIRST thing he did was have an affair (or affairs).

We know this because my Mom didn’t die.

Apparently it’s a pretty common (if horrifying) reaction. I can’t speak for the new bride, though!

Post # 14
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I would feel pretty exasperated too, if it was confirmed they were doing something. But in this case I think you need something a bit more substantial to establish they are actually cheating. I would be inclined to just hope they’re not doing anything and try to ignore the rumours. 


Sometimes I wonder whether I would tell the victim anonymously (if I had proof he/she was being cheated). It just seems so unfair that they are totally in the dark while a bunch of randoms know about it. I would hope someone would tell me if I were being cheated…but I get that not everyone would. 

Post # 15
7992 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

How do you know the rumours are true? Don’t sink to the level of these gossips. Unless you are told about this affair from their own mouths, or you see them in a compromising position, you don’t know this is true.

Even if it is true, I’m not so sure it is any of your business unless these people are close personal friends.

Also, fidelity is not dead.

Post # 16
923 posts
Busy bee

first of all these are just rumors, and you don’t know if they it is true or not. If it is true just stop being friends with him if it bothers you, and then let it go. 

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