Post # 1
I’m usually a stickler for etiquette, so just asking this question is making my skin crawl…
Fiance and are on a super tight budget and, after looking at finances, realized we won’t have enough money for the wedding. The problem is that we never had any ‘extras’ and we literally cannot cut anything else (i.e. FI’s sister is already DIYing our flowers, I got a bridesmaid dress in place of an actual wedding gown, we don’t even have a photographer, etc.) We’re not having a rehearsal dinner now because we can’t afford it. (My mom gave us $500 for the rehearsal dinner, but we need that money to help cover areas). I was stressing about what to do and Fiance suggested waiting to buy bridal party gifts until a few days after the wedding. Originally, I told him no, but I think it may make sense…
First of all, since we’re not having a rehearsal/rehearsal dinner there woul would be no place to bring the gifts to. And if I gave out gifts while we are getting ready the day of the wedding, they would just have to transport them around all day, especially since the bridal party is carpooling.
So, would it be in bad taste to visit the bridal party individually and bring the gifts a few days after the wedding with a nice thank you card? If you didn’t have a rehearsal dinner, when did you distribute gifts?
Post # 3
My first question is, what is the difference between buying them first or a few days after the wedding?
Post # 4
@futuremrsndl: Anyway you could charge the wedding party gifts and repay yourselves with gift money?
Post # 5
Same question as the first poster. What is going to be the difference between just a few days? Is it because you will be buying them with gift money?
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Since money is going to be tight right around the wedding, what about having the bridal party over for dinner or something a few weeks afterwards? I think it’s fine to give gifts a little bit later- one less thing for the bridal party to deal with.
Neither a Rehearsal Dinner or the gifts have to be over the top- you could have people over for pizza, if that worked in your budget.
Post # 7
I believe my sister gave bridal party gifts after the event, and it was fine. Less for the bridal party to haul home (she had a destination wedding).
We’re not doing a rehearsal dinner either, and I don’t feel like I’m depriving anyone.
Post # 8
I don’t think its a big deal. I’ve received a bridal party gift at a different time in each wedding. Rehearsal dinner, wedding day, brunch the following day, a week later. I never minded it was just nice to be acknowledged.
Post # 9
I don’t see the big deal. I’ve been in a wedding where she gave gifts after she came home from her honeyoon, and the gifts were souvenir-esque.
Post # 10
I didn’t even realise that the bridal party got gifts until I came here – I don’t think it’s really a thing in Australia. So, yeah, if I were in your bridal party and you gave me a gift a few days or weeks after the wedding, I’d just be thrilled to be getting something 🙂
Post # 11
I don’t think any but potentially other Bee stalking BMs would even realize they were supposed to get anything more than a heart felt thank you for being in the bridal party so I don’t think its an issue. I hope your bridal party are people close to you who would understand that money is tight.
Post # 12
@futuremrsndl: How can it possibly be bad taste to give gifts individually and personally? Of course that is fine. We don’t do rehearsal dinners here in Australia, so I gave gifts before the wedding, like you are planning to. That’s also what’s happened when I’ve been a Bridesmaid or Best Man.
Post # 13
I think it is fine to give them gifts after the wedding.You could always give them something inexpensive and homemade too.
Post # 14
- Wedding: October 2013 - The Down Town Club, Philadelphia
I think it’s fine to give them gifts afterward. I would write them heartfelt cards and give them out the morning of the wedding though. It’s nice to be acknowledged on the day as well.