Post # 1
My Future Mother-In-Law, bless her heart, keeps mentioning how we shouldn’t do to much to the house when we first move in. I know she means well, but I’ve must have heard this a million times already and it’s erking the crap out of me!!! Just because she’s not into home improvements doesn’t mean she should impose others to not do it. As if it’s not normal or something! She keeps mentioning that it takes time to know what you really want and we might want something different in a year. But all we want to do is paint, fix some window panes, take out the crappy, peeling wallpaper and add wall trims!
I thought that was normal stuff?! I feel like I’m going crazy here because she’s acting like it’s all weird.
By The Way, she’s really into gardening and as soon as she moved into her new home, she cut down a few trees, moved plants around, cut down some more trees, dug stuff up, etc, etc, etc! Gahhhhhh, I don’t understand why she doesn’t understand that it’s not like she didn’t do anything when she just moved in. It’s basically the same thing! Isn’t it?
Is gardening more accepted than simple home improvements? Am I just not getting something here? I’m going a little nuts here!
Post # 3
After writing this, I just couldn’t stand it and wrote my Fi and email (he’s at work). I asked for his help in getting his mother to understand that what gardening is to her is home improvement to some other people.
I also told him how it was getting to me and that I don’t appreciate feeling like I’m crazy for wanting to do basic painting. I explained my frustration. Now I feel soooooooooo much better!
Post # 4
I know how you must be feeling,and the excitement of moving in to a new home and wanting to fix it up to your taste right away,but it really is important to live in a place for awhile before making any major changes. For some people, painting is a first step. I understand wanting to make it your own,with your own taste and style,but I also think what you may initially want may change. Depending on how the property is situated on the lot and how much light you get in various rooms throughout the day,will help you determine what colors will work best. Sometimes paint colors become dreary and depressing (like greys and beiges) and will have different base colors that can take then from Wow! to dull. Many beige colors have pink undertones, and some greys become way too dark in a room with few windows.
She’s probably trying to save you from having to re do things over the next few months. I’ve been in my current home for 12 years,and up til 2 years ago,I repainted my dining room every year! I just couldn’t get it right,and every time I walked through it I couldn’t believe my ‘eye’ was so off. The same for my foyer. I’m usually pretty decisive when it comes to color,but those 2 areas drove me crazy.
My daughter moved in to her new house a few weeks ago and wants to jump in and paint too. The house was freshly painted a soft creamy neutral,but all she sees is ‘white walls’….until I pointed out the contrast between the walls and white woodwork. lol She has a neutral pallet to start with and we told her to make changes slowly as they live there and follow the light patterns in her rooms. So far,she’s listening,but who knows for how long?
Landscaping is important to a property,but I think as long as things are neatly trimmed,you can tackle that later on. Maybe she’s suggesting it because of the season right now and trying to give you the gardening bug she has. I’d smile and listen to her,but it IS your house where YOU will live…not her. Unless she’s paying for what you want to do,she can really only offer her suggestions. I’d thank her and move on if it were me.
You’ll figure it out! Don’t let her drive you crazy. 🙂
Post # 5
I thank her and try to ignore it but she’s been repeating herself a lot and we haven’t even been talking about our renovations. It’s getting hard to ignore – she just keeps repeating herself (and she’s not old so it’s not early onset Alzheimers)
As for the walls, we’re only painting what we’re absolutely sure about. As in the trims, and doors. The house was built in the in ’76 and the previously owners kept some parts of it as is. The inside trims and doors are all left unpainted and we definitely want to paint them white. The outside trims are a bright blue color(!) and I literally dream about painting them white!
As for figuring out the wall color of each room, we’re planning on putting up a large color swatch in each room for a week to see how it looks like under different lighting/times of the day. But one of our first indoor projects would be to paint our bedroom and walk-in closet since it’ll make things easier before getting all our stuff in there. The walk-in closet has halfway peeling striped blue wallpaper and the room is a dark orange – we want something neutral and light (like beige) I’ll add a highlight wall later on, but we definitely need to paint before we get everything in there.
I appreciate the advice, and really we are new to this, but being new owners doesn’t necessarily mean that we don’t have a clue about what we want and haven’t done our share of research. Even if we’ll change our minds in a month I think repainting is fun! But really, we’re more the type to stick to one thing and leave it as is. If anything, we over analyze things because we don’t like to redo things at all.
His Mom has also been hinting at wallpaper instead of paint … I just wish she realized that everyone has a preference and liking something different from her doesn’t mean it’s wrong or bad =/
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant
I say change what you want! When we moved in to this house, we itched to make changes too. We painted the kitchen about the boldest color of orange possible–probably something that your Future Mother-In-Law wouldn’t approve of, but we still love it two years later. If you know your tastes, I say go for it. If you change your mind later, who cares? That’s part of homeownership and it can be fun sometimes, stressful other times, but you’ll learn it all yourself!
I think the email you sent to your fi should help a bit if he brings it up with his mom, but don’t expect her to get on board completely. Just make your decisions confidently and then go ON AND ON in front of her about how much you LOVE the new color/windows/trim, etc, lol! Good luck!
Post # 7
I get it! I painted my living room many years ago a beautiful brownish red. I thought my family would die when they saw it. All our furniture is light colored with creams and beiges,and it looked beautiful against the walls. We left it that color for many years and I loved it.
I did our guest room with chocolate brown walls and white trim. Again,pretty dark and bold for a smallish room,but it looked great and it stayed like that for a number of years until I decided to lighten up in there.
Our kitchen walls are now a deep color by Benjamin Moore called Alexandria Beige…but it looks wonderful with the lighter cabinets and floor.
See a pattern? I’ve never followed the norm or ‘rules’ when it comes to painting,because I’ve never been afraid to make a mistake. Paint is cheap and gives instant gratification to me,and I’ve never minded doing it. New wall color gives me the bigggest boost and makes me excited to redecorate and recycle what may have been relegated to the basement when I got bored with it.
I was on a wallpaper kick about 15 years ago too,but not now. All of our wallpaper put up by me,is now gone. Too limiting for me,but it is good for hiding less than perfect walls.
Have fun with your new house!