(Closed) Is grooms family obligated to pay?

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 3
5229 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Ha, no. Some people are still able to afford this, but couples these days should be prepared to pay for everything themselves and financial support is at the will and offer of others. it should never be assumed or demanded. The only thing I think it’s fair for most people to expect–and even still, every bouple should be prepared to have this hope not met–is the rehearsal dinner, and then the formality, style, cost, venue, etc. is really totally up to the hosts, not the couple.

Post # 4
869 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Pretty much, if you cannot afford it, you can’t have it. You can’t pay for something that you just don’t have the money for. :/ Going into debt for a wedding is stupid. So they will have to do without the stuff, if no one can/aren’t willing to pay.

Post # 5
30 posts
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t think anyone should be obligated pay for the bride and groom’s wedding. As two consenting adults they should take responsibility in my opinion. Even in the ‘traditional’ sense, no one should ever be made to feel stressed out or go into debt to provide for someone else’s wedding.. That makes me sad they are pressuring his parents when they can’t afford it! 

Post # 6
356 posts
Helper bee

If your Future Brother-In-Law wants to marry this girl, and he wants to have alcohol, etc. at his wedding, seems to me that he’s got some money to start saving. If you’re old enough to decide to get married, you’re old enough to pay for whatever kind of wedding you’d like.

Post # 8
1281 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

who ever is getting married is who pays for the wedding. simple as that!! Now should the couple recieve gifts of cash and wish to put that towards the wedding then by all means.

Post # 9
466 posts
Helper bee

My parents are helping to pay for mine but it is by no means an expectation or mandatory that they do

Post # 10
2187 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

No obligation at all!

Post # 11
30393 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

There is no obligation for the parents on either side to pay for the wedding. That is a remnant from the days when the bride went from her parents home to her husband’s home, not having worked outside the home herself.

Post # 12
7039 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Nobody is obligated to pay for anything at a wedding. If they want the bar, and others can’t/won’t pay, they need to cover it themselves.

Post # 13
3162 posts
Sugar bee

My parents are insisting on paying for parts of the wedding because they are able to offer some assistance. I never asked for it or would have every thought to. On the other hand, my FI’s family has not offered anything (and I am not expecting them to). They actually asked us for a loan recently (now that is a whole different story…..)!

Post # 14
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Nope, no one is obligated to pay. If they offer, sure, take them up on it. But they don’t have to do anything. 

Do without the things you can’t afford. 

Post # 15
2721 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

They’re not obligated to pay for anything.  These days, if the families are able to help out with wedding costs, that’s great.  Otherwise, the couple just has the wedding they can afford themselves.  

Post # 16
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

This makes me cringe. Today, no family is obligated to pay anything for a wedding. Sure, if they can afford to contribute, that is the reasonable thing to do, but it never should be expected. I feel so much for your Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law. What a terrible situation to be in. However, their financial security is so important. They should not sacrifice and put themself in a dangerous situation just because of your FBIL’s greedy fiance. They need to either find a way to sacrifice and pay for these things themselves, or rethink their wedding.

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