(Closed) Is having 2 receptions rude?

posted 8 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Is having 2 receptions rude?
    Yes it is rude to have a reception forllowing a wedding that only some individuals can attend : (11 votes)
    55 %
    No, it is ok since they are still invited to a reception : (9 votes)
    45 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    189 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I think this is completely appropriate. It is extremely nice of you to tell everyone that anyone can come the wedding (would your ceremony venue be big enough for that??)  I have heard of this quite frequently actually– the family only reception. 🙂 If you want to have a second reception after the wedding for your friends say a month later, I think this a completely alright. Just be sure to put it on the invites very clearly that the ceremony is for everyone though the reception is for family only! That way your guests know what to expect.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    2829 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I’d say it’s fine.

    Personally I don’t think anyone would really be offended if you were careful in the way that you explained your restraints. As long as the ceremony is open to anyone who wants to come & the invitations are kept separate I don’t think there would be an issue.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    561 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would suggest you keep it clean. What I’m suggesting is this: Have the family ceremony and reception. Plain and simple. Video the wedding and play it at your really BIG reception later. Don’t try to have an “open” wedding and a “closed” reception.

    Or..here’s a little offbeat idea: Skype your nuptials – that way all your BIG reception friends can see the wedding “live” if they want to, and then no feelings will be hurt. When I read a couple did that for relatives who lived across oceans, I thought it was pretty clever! Just some food for thought.

    Otherwise, the idea of two receptions is not tacky at all.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3162 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    My friend did this. It pissed a lot of people off and ruined at least one friendship. Just letting you know that while in theory everyone “should understand” – they don’t.

    Post # 7
    Member
    189 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    @lisalew5472: My fiance and I are planning on doing something very similar to what you are suggesting about keeping it simple with a small ceremony and reception (out of state) with our families and maybe having a party when we get back with our friends that we could not invite… our wedding will also be broadcast over the internet (something the venue does since it’s kind of a destination wedding venue)… Would you suggest sending out separate invitations or something for this broadcast and reception for the people who aren’t actually invited to the wedding? How would you go about this since it’s not actually a wedding that people can go to?  Do you have any suggestions on how to word this to people who aren’t being invited to the wedding?? Our thought was to have a get together after the wedding and try to de-emphasize the wedding thing as much as possible as well as not saying anything about a registry so people don’t feel obligated to bring gifts… but how to actually let people know about this… I am at a loss with.. what would be right etiquette wise??

     

     MrsWall2B: I’m afraid that what Kittyachi says may be true though given your situation (and mine as well) I really don’t know any way around it without spending an arm and a leg to try and make EVERYONE happy… I hear so many times that you can’t make everyone happy so you’d might as well go with what you want in planning your wedding– that’s what I hear anyway..

    Post # 8
    Member
    134 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @lisalew5472: I agree with lisalew5472. definitly keep it 100% seperate.

    Post # 10
    Member
    561 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @lulu mae: You are on the right track. Here’s how I see it: Family wedding and reception at the Destination Wedding – done. 

    Then, have a separate invitation for reception #2  – more casual and fun than the first affair “we tied the knot, now let’s party” – not really, but I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.

    There may be some hurt feelings, as Kittyachi mentioned, regardless of how you try to do it. But your heart is in the right place, by trying to include as many people as you can reasonably afford. After all, we can’t be all things to all people. Do the best you can.

    PS: After thinking, maybe it’s wise to “skip the Skype” and the video. My thought at first was that your in-town friends might want to see the wedding. However, if in turn they are not being invited to the in-town reception…UGH…major ooops. Destination Weddings can be expensive, and I’m sure most people understand that. But…if you’re worried about hurt feelings, maybe downplaying the ceremony at home is best.

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    3316 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    You really can’t do this unless you have only those people at the small reception invited to your ceremony.  You could then do a larger reception a month or so later.  However, you cannot invite people to the ceremony and not to the reception immediately following it.

    Post # 13
    Member
    9029 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    i agree that not everyone will understand.. especially those not invited to the first reception, and honestly most ppl expect a reception on the same day and would feel weird if they came to the wedding and then were asked to come to a reception on another day at another location

    Post # 14
    Member
    440 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Personally if I were a guest and I didn’t get invited to everything it would be very insulting. I made the effort, traveled, bought gifts, etc and then you only invited me to the second reception…it would not be cool. Especiallly if there is a 2.5 hour wait time between the wedding and the second reception. And if I were only invited to your 1st reception I would be pissed because you would be leaving to go party with your band family instead of your real family. Not cool.

     

    I would look for a bigger venue if possible or start thinking destination wedding.

    Post # 15
    Member
    183 posts
    Blushing bee

    i’m in the same situation. family between my fiance and i are about 150 people. he has a huge family. and he also has a ton of friends, so we’re looking at about 200 people and that’s with no kids. i think that it’s best to do what works for you and your fiance and for your budget. everyone is different and has a different wedding. i don’t think it’s rude, i think it’s what works best for you. on the other hand, if i were a friend of yours, i would also love to have the opportunity to meet and spend time with your family and i’m sure your family would love to have that time to meet and spend time with your friends as well. hope that helps!

    Post # 16
    Member
    2249 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    my cousin is doing big ceremony- followed by cake and punch and bouquet toss etc. for everyone followed by “smaller ” dinner reception. Is there any way you could do it all in one day?

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