Post # 1
I’m trying to find 10 good reasons to have a reception and 10 good reasons not to have a reception (elope or small intimate gathering after ceremony). My fiance would like one (“You’re only getting married once”), but he hasn’t done much research and planning as I’ve done looking at prices and seeing what people do at receptions. I think they are very beautiful andI’m impressed with the creativity of some receptions that I’ve seen in real life, on blogs, magazines, and on TV. But the more I’ve learned about receptions and costs the more I don’t want one, but I want my fiance to be happy but not at the expense of becoming broke or using the money for something useful in the future. My family is cool and wouldn’t care if we didn’t have one. His family is wonderful too, but I don’t know how they will feel if we told them we aren’t having a reception. I don’t like the idea of swarming through a crowd, standing in the line for most of the night and spending 2-5 minutes only with each guest. A reception would be the biggest chunk out of our budget and biggest amount of stress. We are paying for most of the wedding ourselves. The amount of gifts wouldn’t justify the expenses we would take for a wedding reception. Plus I don’t care about presents, my fiance is all I need to start off with our married life. I rather spend our money and focus the wedding budget on us rather than guests. I rather pay more money to look stunning for my fiance on our wedding day, great photos (and save more money since I wouldn’t need to pay for so many hours of coverage if we had a reception), and a better honeymoon. I don’t want to pay for all these invites and postage, wedding party, linens for the tables, reception centerpieces, favors, venue fee, dj/band, cake, and food etc because to me it all focuses on spending money on other people rather than you and your future spouse. If I had more money to spend I wouldn’t have posted this but the reality is that I don’t have a lot of money to spend on a wedding, neither does my family…I work hard for my money and can’t easily part so much of it for something that would last a few hours. I just want to be married to him in the place where we always wanted to get married at and be on our way to our honeymoon. If any Bees have good ideas as to why we should do a reception I would appreciate it. Thanks.
Post # 3
We are getting married in the bahamas with only 8 people & having a reception when we get back.
Honestly if I had to do it all over again I would have done a cake & punch reception when we got back or a heavy apps mid day reception with no sitting. Dealing with vendors & my venue has been the hardest thing ever! The sneaky fees & not telling us stuff before putting down deposits.
Post # 4
After we bought our house, I changed my mind about having a big wedding/reception. It just kind of put things into perspective. If he wants one, maybe you can sit down and add up how much everything will cost, kind of show him how much it really is. Until I found weddingbee I don’t think I really understood just how much it could cost.
Reasons why I don’t want a big wedding and reception? The number one reason is I think it’s a waste of money. Number two? It seems like way more work & stress than it’s worth…for me at least. I’d rather put money towards buying things for the house or saving for our future family.
I think I’ll end up having a very low-budget backyard wedding followed by a big house party. Something simple and fun, just meant to celebrate us. I feel like a lot of pressure has been put on couples to have these big weddings and kind of put on a show – entertain their guest.
Post # 5
@mizachan: "We are paying for most of the wedding ourselves. The amount of gifts wouldn’t justify the expenses we would take for a wedding reception."
Don’t go into it thinking this way. The purpose of a reception is not to receive gifts but to celebrate with friends and family. Gifts are a nice bonus but should not be expected.
We were on a tight budget too but we knew for sure that we wanted to have a party with everyone we love. We had to make a lot of sacrifices to make that happen but I am so glad we did. I can’t even describe to you what it felt like to be surrounded by all our friends and family in celebration of our union.
We did our reception at a restaurant…buffet, limited bar, and no frills. We didn’t spring for fancy linens or amazing centerpieces. No fancy favors or videographers.
You don’t have to spend a fortune to have a great reception.
But you also don’t have to have a reception if you don’t want one.
All I can tell you is that it can be done on a budget. And that it was the most fun and the best feeling I’ve ever had in my life.
Post # 6
@lilybee: A backyard wedding & big house party sounds AWESOME.
Post # 7
I agree, if I had a big backyard I would definitely do it!