IS HE A SOCIOPATH?

posted 3 years ago in No Kids
Post # 16
Member
6171 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

Who cares what diagnosis he has (if any), it sounds like this person is toxic and the relationship is unhealthy. You’ll be better off without him. If you’re in doubt about that, therapy (for yourself) is definitely your best bet.

Post # 17
Member
3309 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

No need to diagnose him, there is a reason you should leave him. This is an abusive relationship. 

Post # 18
Member
1593 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

dawn92 :  Red flags all over the damn place here.

Number one: Both divorces were in no way his fault because he was innocent and women be bitches. Wrong. I’m sure that sometimes divorce is completely one person’s fault (abuse, adultery etc) but a lot of the time it’s just two people who shouldn’t be married. I’m divorced and I would never completely blame my ex for our marriage not working out. 

Number two: “it’s your fault I cheated”. If he cheated because there were issues in your relationship, that’s one thing, but you did not insert his penis into another woman’s vagina. It is not your fault.

Number three: Isolating you from friends and family out of false concern for you and your relationship. My abusive ex did the same thing. He phrased it as “your friends don’t really care about you and your parents don’t understand you”. The end result was that I had nobody to turn to except our mutual friends, all of whom thought the sun shone out of his butt.

Number four: Gaslighting. If you are having issues with his behaviour, YOU must be crazy/a psychopath/insecure because he is fine. This calls into question your own instincts about how you should be treated.

Number five: Financial abuse. Controlling your access to the house, car and/or money. 

I don’t know if he’s a sociopath but I can see abuse a mile off. Please contact any supportive family and friends you have and think about a safe exit plan. There are help lines and counsellors you can contact and you can even ask for police protection if you need to retrieve property from your house. Don’t be concerned about what people will think of you – I put off leaving for a year because I was concerned about what my family would say, turned out they were just relieved I got out. 

Post # 19
Member
829 posts
Busy bee

He is abusive.  Please plan an escape.  I hope he is not tracking you internet activity.  Be careful. Some tracking programs are hard to detect.

Post # 20
Member
4826 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Go to a lawyer asap and don’t move out of the house. You are common law and are entitled to part of the house and money. Definitively reactivate your social networks and get back in touch with family and friends because you’ll need their support while you go through the break up. Good luck.

Post # 21
Member
457 posts
Helper bee

Is that the same guy who didn’t tell you that he’s fathered TWO kids and not one until after you were married?  The one who keeps cheating on you with multiple women and sexting with others?  The one who keeps a pack of ED meds in his car?  The one who tells you that you’re disgusting and that he wants nothing to do with you?

Dude, why are you here & not busy packing your bags?

Post # 22
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee

Why are you stil with this guy?  He is abusing you.  Just the 2 divorces should be enough for you to run for the hills. You deserve better!  Cheating is unforgivable in my book

Post # 23
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 1995

He sounds like a Narcissist and they are usuall self absorbed people who use others to feed their connstant need for adoration and attention. You can not have a healthy relationship with such a person. He will destroy you. 

 

GET OUT!

Post # 24
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I have read both your posts, and it doesn’t matter what he is besides ABUSIVE. Why are you with him and trying to figure out why he is treating you like this? It doesn’t matter why, what matters is he is cheating on you repeatedly, lied about his kids, has gotten you isolated from everyone, and is extremely controlling. Leave him! He’s doing you a favor by not wanting to be with you anymore! Tell your friends and family what happened, they will understand, and start getting to know yourself again and find out why your self esteem was so low that you stuck with him.

Post # 25
Member
1128 posts
Bumble bee

dawn92 :  Please protect yourself physically as you plan to leave.

 

With people like that, I fear that they will resort to physical control once they feel that they are losing control over your emotions.

Post # 26
Member
2758 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

dawn92 :  ‘Sociopath’ is not a term that is given as a diagnosis any more, but it sounds like your SO has narcassistic or antisocial personality disorder, and is also an abusive piece of shit.

But either way, it doesn’t matter what his potential diagnosis would or would not be. At all. His behaviour is disgusting and damaging to you. You need to leave. Sending hugs bee, please find the courage to know you deserve better and keep us updated xx

Post # 27
Member
366 posts
Helper bee

“He was a cool guy with no fault. He was married before, divorced twice….” 

With no fault? He’d already been divorced twice… Also, he doesn’t sound very Christian. 

Post # 28
Member
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Vineyard Lake

Run far & fast!!

Post # 29
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

dawn92 :  Not sure what you mean by constantly referring to it as a marriage but then saying you’re not legally married – use this to your advantage. GTFO now – he is super abusive and controlling. How old are you? 

Post # 30
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Just read your previous post. LEAVE HIM! Seriously, has he brainwashed you so much that you don’t see the horrible situation you’re in? And it’s great that you’re not “legally” married – makes it that much easier to up and leave his ass. 

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