- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
Hi everyone! I’m new to this forum and really glad to have found you! I feel like I’m not alone at all, after having spend the last few months wondering whether my SO was into marrying me.
The problem is that everybody around us is asking us about our wedding, and thinking we are just about doing so. Even HIS mum, when I was making my birthday wish, said “To getting married this year!”.
All this has made my mind fly… Being the ULTRA-romantic girl I am…
I feel like I need to vent out, so sorry for this super long post…
My SO is one my brother-in-law’s best friends. I was his friend’s wife little sister, so he didn’t make a move until he was 100% sure that he wanted to date me. We’ve been dating for over 2 years now.
Due to his job, he doesn’t work in our hometown, and I’m still finishing my degree at Uni. Anyways, we see each other every week (he either comes here or I travel to his place). The last two summers, I “moved” with him for a few months. We both get on well living together, our relationship is even better than when we are apart.
Last summer (2012) we started talking about living together starting this summer (2013). However, when I returned home, I told my mum and my sister about this and they both told me that we should get married before living together. At first, I was very angry at both of them because they weren’t sharing my happiness, but then, I realised that they were true, and that we would have no reason to buy the milk if he had it for free. So I already let him know that I don’t want to live with him until we are married.
The “Marriage” Talk was like this: (if it can be considered that)
– He told me that, because he has a crazy schedule, he wants to live with me a year before marrying me, so I can truly understand what it is to be living with a pilot.
– I told him that if we lived together, he would have no rush to marry me.
– He told me that he is going to marry me. (And made a sweet clarification “If you want.”)
– Me (inside): time to search for dresseeeeeeesss!!
But, after that, he has not mentioned anything else. From time to time, he repeats that on February, he wants me to go and live with him. And when I tell him that I think we should wait, he just replies that he thought I was willing to live with him (which I am, but I don’t want to ruin everything), but doesn’t let me know whether he is considering anything or just waiting for me to change my mind.
What gets on my nerves is the fact that he seems to be considering a future with me, because we have discussed the “BIG” issues:
– We have talked about where we would like to live. AND we have gone online house-hunting for hours, talking about spaces, bedrooms and prices.
– We have talked about where our income will come from. (He doesn’t want me to work)
– We have talked about when and where we would like to get married and where we would go on our honeymoon.
– He knows I love kids, and it comes natural to both of us to refer to “our kids”. And he usually jokes about the funny things he is going to do behind my back with them.
– We have discussed how we want to educate our children. (He believes I’m going to be the SCARY parent while he will be the nice one…)
– He is seriously SAVING and INVESTING, even when he has a good salary. Whenever I joke saying that he wants to be the richest man in the cemetery, he answers that he only wants to give me the best and he wants us to have everything we want. When I met him, all he was interested about was saving to buy a Porsche. But he told me a year ago that he no longers wants a Porsche, because it was a car “to flirt” and he doesn’t need to do that anymore.
I really think he considers me the woman of his dreams, and the mother of his kids, but… why is he not dropping the question, or at least talking about marriage yet? My two bets are:
1) That he is waiting for me to finish my degree.
2) That he is waiting for his brother to get married, so we don’t “shade” his wedding.
And the worst:
3) That he REALLY don’t want to be with me…
Sorry for this super long post, I told you I needed to vent out, I really really needed it. All I see around us is couples getting engaged after only a couple of months dating (even his own brother)…
Am I MAD?????? This is literally killing me…