- 4 years ago
- Wedding: January 2015
I call troll
I call troll
….guys, don’t feed the trolls!
Yup, this is a troll.
If this isn’t a troll, it’s the most pathetic thing I’ve ever read.
zebra10: are you kidding me? “He’d cherish me if he wasn’t feeling pressured about marriage” No he wouldnt, marriage conversations dont pull someone away and make them cheat. If he wanted to eventually get married then it would bring you closer. He doesn’t and that’s why it’s pulling you apart. Either way he would and should cherish you regardless. You keep making excuses for him. You “think” it was just the one girl and that it didn’t get physically. You don’t know for sure and that one girl is more then enough. You don’t think that you can ever trust him again. It’s because you cant. He did this to his ex, he’s done it once that you know of, and isn’t apologizing for doing something wrong. You are a place holder, nothing more, he shows you that every time he breaks up with you. He clearly has all the power in this “relationship” and he knows it. Don’t talk to him again and walk away.
If he hasn’t cheated already, he sounds like he will. Sneaking out to a bar to meet a girl at midnight? Going drinking at her apartment?
No, no, no.
My Fiance told me he loved me and thought I was the one before we even started dating, three and a half years ago. No man his age needs 14 months to decide whether he loves someone he’s supposedly exclusive with.
Ladies, wow. all the red flags I saw, all the doubts and anxieties I’ve felt in my head and heart for the last 2 years… I feel like my SO tried to make me feel like there’s something wrong with me (calling me things like “paranoid” or “neurotic”), when in reality every single one of you is validating my gut feelings. Earlier today when we got off the phone, I felt hopeful, since he answered the phone immediately and talked to me for an hour and said he missed me, didn’t want to close the door on us, etc. that’s way more emotion and verbalization than I ever got from him during any conflict… Most of which were spent with him staring at the wall and literally refusing to speak to me for DAYS. It was never hours, but rather days.
but now I’m wondering, could he ever be a good man anyhow? I have a close guy friend from back home, but my SO knew all about him- he has the passcode to my phone, if the friend called I’d always take his calls in front of my SO because no secrets, etc. I think occasionally my guy friend can sound flirty in his texts but guess what, once again I freely gave my SO the passcode to my phone and never deleted any of those texts. It’s all about honesty vs secrecy. If my SO had told me about this female friend at any point, invited me to meet her, etc – and not changed her to his best friend’s name in his phone- then totally different story. But imagine how I started feeling, always anxious or on “alert” because it’s not like he tells me anything
ugh, and then my SO would blame me for not trusting him when he said he’d marry me “someday” (again, refused to discuss even so much as whether we could reasonably get engaged within the next few years, stating over & over that “when I’m ready I’ll ask the question, and if that’s not good enough for you then do what you have to do.”) well how easy was it for me to trust him when immediately after the very first time he said “I love you and will marry you someday,” I gave him a long hug then headed out with my best girlfriend (he knew I’d had plans w her all week), while he tried to sneak out w another girl behind my back? Then when he arrived home that night way later than me, all dressed up and smelling like cologne, I said “oh you went out? With Bill?” (His best friend) and he just responded “no. Alone.” Not like, “tried to hang out with some coworker(s) but they couldn’t meet,” or anything remotely resembling truth
What makes him abnotmal? The little lies, the flirting? Or is it more the way he freaks and any time I want to talk about future, ends up breaking up w me and/or completely ignoring me as though I’m physically not even there for days at a time… Then eventually start talking to me again with no “debriefing”? Or is it more the failure to tell me anything about himself, his values, or his (foreign) family after 2 years… Then yelling that I’m an “ignorant American” once I finally ask if there’s a reason he doesn’t want me to meet his mom?
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