(Closed) Is he even thinking about it?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

I’m gonna be honest here and I hope that I am not being a hope crusher.  And don’t let me be because this is how it was for me and how my Fiance acts.

But before he proposed, he was BRUTAL at giving hints.  I mean brutal.  Like telling me he was shopping for something special that I couldn’t go with him for, leaving “I love you baby, big surprises coming up next week” FB posts on my wall (Yup… he did that!) to kissing me and saying stuff like.. “pretty soon this will be forever”  and that kind of jazz.

Up until then we did talk about marriage, but it was more just conversational like “I want to marry you and have your babies one day” kinda of talk.

But… him talking to his Mum sounds really promising!

Post # 4
Member
22 posts
Newbee

@Anxiouspeanut: the fact that he told you he even said anything to his mom about wanting to marry you is definitely a good sign! From personal experience, when my SO first started thinking seriously about an engagement, he mentioned that he chatted with his dad about us getting married. That’s all he said. Within months we were ring shopping! Now the ring’s been ordered and im just waiting for the proposal.

i think men definitely want to play it off so it can be a surprise, but sometimes they can’t help but bring it up, like it seems he did! Good luck 🙂

Post # 5
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m in the phase of “We’re not talking about it so it can be a surprise” too, and it’s tough! Sometimes I feel the same way. I have been keeping up with your situation, and it does sound to me that it will be soon, but it’s impossible to know how soon.

We just have to learn to relax and let them do their own thing…even though sometimes it’s like, “HULLO? Can I haz engagement nowz?”

I think the fact that you both haven’t been talking about it so it can be a surprise is progress! It’s just unspoken progress, which is why you’re frustrated. Keep your head up! It will happen soon, we just gotta be patient!

Post # 6
Member
450 posts
Helper bee

@Anxiouspeanut: You described exactly what I’ve been thinking all day.  I’ve come to the point where I believe that engagement is the furthest thing from his mind–simply because I know him SO well that when I look at him I just don’t “feel” that he’s even thinking about it.  I know for a fact that he would be dropping major hints if he was planning something soon–but no, not a single thing.

These days we talk about everything EXCEPT our future.  Oddly enough, there are those rare occasions when I stop thinking about us & caring so much about engagements that he hints to me that something will happen soon.  But then he goes right back to his cave, quiet on the topic. 

 I swear I don’t understand men.  They drop hints, then retreat.  It’s a ridiculous cycle.  So I really feel you on the frustrations. 

I think it’s really good that you’re not saying anything, so keep it up.  I’ve also not said anything since we last spoke of it, over a month ago.  But I have my internal timeline–which I’m sure he is well aware of.  So for now I’m giving him his space to choose whatever he wants.  But that can only go on for so long. 

Do you have a timeline established for yourself?

Post # 10
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Anxiouspeanut: We’ll get through this together, I promise! We’re both supposed to be getting engaged in the summer! It should go by fast. 🙂

Post # 12
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee

right there with you! i love to talk about it because i know it’s on his mind, so since i’m trying to be quiet it is SO HARD to always feel like he’s not even got it on his mind, that it must be ages and ages away, etc. I sure hope your man brings it up again soon (or rather, he could just propose soon)!

Post # 16
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

@Anxiouspeanut:

I hope it happens on a gorgeous summer day when your sipping a margarita with your loved one in the sun 🙂

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