Is he into me or just friendly

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 2
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

The first thing I see from your post is that you are mature and insightful. You may not FEEL mature due to what you call a lack of experience, but trust me, you have your priorities straight. Keep being smart, hesitant, and polite. 

My first piece of advice would be to not get your hopes too high or expect too much from him, but BE EAGER. Talk to him genuinely. Be genuine, and be yourself! He sought you out and struck a conversation, and that’s always, ALWAYS the first step, whether you are married for eighty years or never see each other again. Conversation is key and communication is crucial!

The best foot forward is always just treating him like a decent human being. Don’t talk about how you have had sex with four other men and you want to see how he compares (which is something my friend asked me if she should talk about with someone she is interested in and I was so shocked that she was serious that I kinda just blinked at her). Don’t make fun of him in any way, even if it is teasing. You will have plenty of time to tease each other later.

Right now, it is all about finding common interests and embracing those interests. Do you both like hiking? Talk about that mountain you climbed last year. Do you both like babies? Talk about your sister having twins last month. And in return, he will talk about how his own sister had a son a year ago, and you’ll talk about how annoying older sisters are. It’s conversations like these that stimulate bonding.

Your treating this man like a decent human being, being yourself, and succeeding at your job are the most mature aspects of this post. Keep doing well at your job, first and foremost, and in downtime, just strike up conversation.

I can’t tell you if he is looking at you as a romantic partner. But if you are interested, seek him out like he sought you out, be nice, and be yourself. 🙂 

Post # 3
320 posts
Helper bee

The comment above is 100% gold. 

But I want to add – don’t jump into anything. Dating coworker, especially in a tiny setting like that, can get complicated real fast and can be real messy. 

Post # 6
494 posts
Helper bee

Because this is a co-worker you want to be very sure the feeling is mutual before you make any sort of bold moves that you can’t take back. 

My M.O in situations like this was to add the person on facebook. If they accept, you will be able to take a quick scroll through their profile (not a full blown going back years creep) to see if they are in a relationship. 

After becoming Fb friends with a guy I was interested in I would usually send them a private message with a joke about something we had talked about earlier, or thank you for helping me with someone. Just a breezy, no pressure opener that doesn’t even require a response. If they gave me a one word answer (or no answer) it was pretty indicative that there was no mutual interest. If they wrote me back and asked me about my day or started initiating friendly chats online it wouldn’t take long for it to turn flirty. 

Once it’s pretty obvious that he is into you too you can make your move

Post # 8
734 posts
Busy bee

I agree with the advice to just keep being friendly and open and warm. Be receptive and chatty when he does seek you out. The fact that he sought you out to come and talk to you speaks of interest to me, but it is not enough yet to come to any conclusions.

Just keep being yourself and be friendly, and believe me, if he is interested, it will make itself known in time.

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