Post # 1
I started this job in early march and for a little while myself and this coworker didnt say too much to each other besides good morning. I thought he was cute from the beginning and I wouldnt say that I have a crush on him but would be interested in getting to know him better.
Anyway, after a couple weeks we started to talk a little bit more, found out we have some common interests and would talk about those occasionally. (Oh! I think it is important to note that we both work at a very small charter school that is one on one teaching, so often times we as staff members dont have a ton of downtime to just talk and are often with a student.) Well a week or so ago he did something that I found to be interesting. I sit with a student during her lunch time and the student general will play games on the computer or watch videos and not pay much attention. My coworker came into the small seperated room that we were in and sat down in a chair to talk to me. He asked how the day was going and then we just talked about a few different topics for a while untill another teacher came into the room to take over with the student I had been sitting with. By that time, it was time for him (my coworker) to go teach another student and I was on my break. This action was something that made me think maybe hes a little interested in getting to know me better? However, I’m not sure because this could also have just been a friendly jester.
I’m fairly young (22) and dont have much experince with relationships or flirting or anything like that as for a long time my primary focus was school and being sure my future would be a good one.
So my question is what do you think about that interaction and what that might say about him?
Also just in general, what are some signs you look out for to tell if someone is interested in you? I’m terrible at even catching if someone is flirting with me and its usually a friend that has to tell me. So any advice would be useful.
Post # 2
The first thing I see from your post is that you are mature and insightful. You may not FEEL mature due to what you call a lack of experience, but trust me, you have your priorities straight. Keep being smart, hesitant, and polite.
My first piece of advice would be to not get your hopes too high or expect too much from him, but BE EAGER. Talk to him genuinely. Be genuine, and be yourself! He sought you out and struck a conversation, and that’s always, ALWAYS the first step, whether you are married for eighty years or never see each other again. Conversation is key and communication is crucial!
The best foot forward is always just treating him like a decent human being. Don’t talk about how you have had sex with four other men and you want to see how he compares (which is something my friend asked me if she should talk about with someone she is interested in and I was so shocked that she was serious that I kinda just blinked at her). Don’t make fun of him in any way, even if it is teasing. You will have plenty of time to tease each other later.
Right now, it is all about finding common interests and embracing those interests. Do you both like hiking? Talk about that mountain you climbed last year. Do you both like babies? Talk about your sister having twins last month. And in return, he will talk about how his own sister had a son a year ago, and you’ll talk about how annoying older sisters are. It’s conversations like these that stimulate bonding.
Your treating this man like a decent human being, being yourself, and succeeding at your job are the most mature aspects of this post. Keep doing well at your job, first and foremost, and in downtime, just strike up conversation.
I can’t tell you if he is looking at you as a romantic partner. But if you are interested, seek him out like he sought you out, be nice, and be yourself. 🙂
Post # 3
The comment above is 100% gold.
But I want to add – don’t jump into anything. Dating coworker, especially in a tiny setting like that, can get complicated real fast and can be real messy.
Post # 4
hbraerae : Thank you so much for your advice! I will try to have more conversations with him. And I completely understand, I normally wouldnt consider getting involved with a coworker, but I will switching to a new school to teach next school year. So I figure we will only be coworkers till the end of May!
Post # 5
megm1099 : This is very insightful, thank you so much for your advice. I will try to talk with him a bit more but not press anything and see if things go anywhere even if its just being friends.
Post # 6
Because this is a co-worker you want to be very sure the feeling is mutual before you make any sort of bold moves that you can’t take back.
My M.O in situations like this was to add the person on facebook. If they accept, you will be able to take a quick scroll through their profile (not a full blown going back years creep) to see if they are in a relationship.
After becoming Fb friends with a guy I was interested in I would usually send them a private message with a joke about something we had talked about earlier, or thank you for helping me with someone. Just a breezy, no pressure opener that doesn’t even require a response. If they gave me a one word answer (or no answer) it was pretty indicative that there was no mutual interest. If they wrote me back and asked me about my day or started initiating friendly chats online it wouldn’t take long for it to turn flirty.
Once it’s pretty obvious that he is into you too you can make your move
Post # 7
mohbestie : I completely agree. I didnt have any plans on making any kinds of bold moves while we are coworkers. Kind of keeping an eye out, watching his behavior and things of that nature. I do like your facebook idea so I’ll have to do that!
Post # 8
I agree with the advice to just keep being friendly and open and warm. Be receptive and chatty when he does seek you out. The fact that he sought you out to come and talk to you speaks of interest to me, but it is not enough yet to come to any conclusions.
Just keep being yourself and be friendly, and believe me, if he is interested, it will make itself known in time.