(Closed) Is he living in a fantasy world?…

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@annasaf83:  I know how you feel!  I wanted the small intimate wedding and my SO wants the bigger weding!  I’d really talk to him about the moving thing though and make sure that both of you are on the same page 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think men are the worst day dreamers with weddings! They don’t see the practical or financial side of things, they want to be the man on the day and usually this means not really caring about family and friends.

I wouldn’t think anything of this at the moment, when you get to the point of discussing venues, I would set out a list of where you both want and then compromise.

It doesnt matter where you get married, but yeah, the people who can attend make the wedding, and my folks and friends being there is important to me. I think he is just going off on a fantasy wedding tangent, lol!

Post # 5
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee

If you’re getting the feeling you’re on different pages you need to tell him. It will become very important very fast.

As to his travel/distance fantasies – you really really really need to nail this one down. I am very migrant. My whole family is. I have relatives all over the country, in England and in Japan. If I found out my job could take me to Germany tomorrow I’d be packing our bags immediately. It’s just who I am. It doesn’t mean my head is in the clouds. It just means I have a desire to see the world and I’ve made it happen for myself (I’ve moved from the midwest to the west and then to the east coast all within 3 years). You should really find out from your guy if this is something he really wants or if it’s just a dream. You should find out if he understands your desire to stay as close to home as possible and that it’s practically a non-negotiable for you. Are you really sure he wouldn’t move away from his mother if given the opportunity? My guy only has one brother. His parents are in Arizona, his brother in PA and we’re in MD. Not everyone considers relatives a reason to not move.

Sorry if that was long. I’m just curious about your situation and wanted to give you our situation as an example. Honestly, I would go crazy if I was geographically tied down for the rest of my life. Just seemed like something that could be important to investigate. 🙂

 

Post # 7
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee

@annasaf83: That makes sense. I just wasn’t sure if you’re coming from a “it’s crazy to just pick up and go” perspective or a “we literally can’t move” perspective. Sounds like you’re the latter. 🙂

I understand it’s incredibly important to you that you stay close to home, and it sounds like it might be for him as well, but does it seem like he feels it’s as important as you do? Or is it more of a wishful thinking comment in passing. Like, I always say I’m going to sell the house, quit my job, move to Nicaragua and live off the income we saved. But I don’t really mean it. I’m usually very sarcastic about it. Does it sound like he thinks moving away is a real option for you guys? Have you asked?

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