(Closed) Is he ready to stand by my side?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yikes this is so tough. I’m so sorry. I know that it’s said that when you marry someone, you marry their family too, but that can be alleviated when the someone you marry sticks up for you and treats you as the priority. Sounds like that’s not the case here…what is it that makes him side with his mom? As for whether or not he’s ready, I don’t at all know the answer to that.

I’m not in your position, but my mom is an absolute horror and I know I make my Fiance a priority and ensure that I always have an “us” mentality…he is my number one and my family now and we stand together (against my mom if need be). It helps a lot, but there could be a reason that your Fiance is not willing to do the same? 

Hugs…I wish I could be helpful. 

Post # 4
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think that you will get through this. Wedding planning can be hell. But just think, after that one day, the wedding stress will all be over.. and you will be moving on to newlywed status and you wont be thinking about the dreaded Mother-In-Law having too much say, because then the boy will be yours! HA (I think you end up winning here).

Hang in there!!!

Post # 6
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

To echo what Kate02121 said, he needs to stand by you and support you, starting now and of course continuing on into your marriage.

I feel its kind of unfair for your Future Mother-In-Law to invite “extra” guests and whatever other ways she has plans on doing your day how she would like.

Also, this isn’t your battle to fight, its his mom, so I think he needs to take the lead on this and resolve the issue.

You need to talk to him and let him know how much it really is bothering you, hopefully, he steps up and takes care of this for you.

Best of luck with everything, i hope it works out.

Post # 7
1725 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Could you possibly e-mail her or talk to her and sweetly say something like “I know how much you would love these people to celebrate with us, but with the budget my parents and we have, there just isn’t enough to include everyone we would like. Our budget is going to allow for x number of guests…would you help me make a list of x number of people from your side?”

Post # 8
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

If she’s not helping financially with the wedding she shouldn’t be inviting people you don’t know. You need to tell him how much short you are and tell him to handle it with her. If she’s insisting she needs to contribute. As far as if your ready or not, after the wedding I would think the relationship you have with her would go back to the way it was. I would however start talking to your Fi about how much say she’ll have in your children’s lives. This was my problem.

Post # 9
1240 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I had this issue. Kind of. Fiance is really soft. Doesn’t like to upset people. His dad doesn’t care about the wedding. He actually made a real crappy comment about paying for stuff. We haven’t asked for a penny.

But this past weekend. It became an issue (between Fiance, his dad, and I) that I wanted a hotel room, I actually already have it. But I told Fiance that WE are becoming a team. I don’t need him against me. If he has a question about something, he needs to ask me, instead of backing me into a corner and having his family gang up on me.

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