I honestly don’t understand why so many of the repliers on this thread are so strongly against your fiance. Just because he has less to bring to the table, does not mean he’s destined to ruin your financial situation for life. Here’s my story:
I have never had anything handed to me for free. I was the first in my family to earn a 4-year degree, I paid for it almost entirely myself, and I’m now paying off student loans. Throughout college, I had no life, devoted myself to studies, graduated with honors, got a presigious internship, and am now a full time IT analyst at a company’s global headquarters. In my 20’s I’m already making a comparable salary to both my parents combined. I worked very very hard to get where I’m at and be financially secure in my future, and I’m not about to throw that away.
My fiance grew up in a metal shack in Mexico, his father was rarley home, and his mother worked odd jobs to pay for the children’s school supplies. He came to the US ten years ago and has lived pretty much on the bottom of the social totem pole ever since; working in factories and restaurants, no health insurance, sharing a house with 6 other men to get by… and he considers that better than the life he came from in Mexico. For him, a college education is not even something he dares to aspire to, so he contents himself with his hourly wages. What really amazes me is that he never complains about it.
Everyone imagines their life will someday be a little better than it is now. The American Dream is conceived early and never dies in our hearts. The challenge I face is redefining my Dream. It once was a good-looker for a husband, a house in the suburbs, two brand new cars in the driveway, overseas vacations every summer, and all the other material things by which we define the Good Life. Now my Dream is to sleep easy each night knowing that no matter what lies ahead, I will not be alone because I have found someone who cherishes and values me more than anything else in his life, and whose sincerity I will not doubt when he says “till death do us part.”
I’m paying for the vast majority of our wedding too. And my student loans. And the down payment on our house (when the time comes). And our retirement. And roughly 75% of everything that we will ever have to pay for as a couple in the years to come. Becoming a stay-at-home mother will never be an option for me, regardless of whether I want to. It took me a long time and a lot of self reflection to be able to say I’m okay with all that. It also took me a long time to be able to say “our” wedding, “our” house, and “our” retirement, even though I’ll be the one paying for most of it.
Besides, I’m a slight control freak, so it makes me rather happy that I’ll be in control of the finances and big decisions in our household.
Hopefully that helps your soul searching. Think long and hard about what is most important to you in life, and where you can find it. Remember that everyone gets cold feet. And whatever you decide to do, just dive in and don’t look back. You shouldn’t be engaged unless you’re confident that you want to marry that man.