(Closed) Is he trying to break my heart?!!!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Congrats on 8 years- that’s a long time, and means you’ve both done something right! Wishing you lots and lots more happy years to come. 

My FI’s grandparents have been together for 50+ years and were broke when they got married at city hall, in the only decent dress that she owned. She always talks about how special that was to her when with what little money he had, he splurged and bought her a tiny saphire ring. I think it’s incredibly romantic and their love truly passed the test of all the hardship they have endured over the years. I think we all need to remember that the material things that we can afford today, we don’t really need, even though our society always tried to convince us otherwise.

I would listen to your husband- sounds like he is thinking about your guys’ financial future more than you are. Taking out a loan comes with serious risks (like ruining your credit!) and responsibilities. I understand the part about wanting to celebrate your relationship and your marriage with your loved ones, and why is that a problem? He’s just suggesting to keep it simple. You will be a beautiful bride without spending a fortune. Sure it would be nice to have an Armani suit and a gorgeous princess dress, and yes, it’s incredibly tempting to have these nice things, but if you don’t, you haven’t lost anything. You are not 3 anymore, look deeper and let go of materialistic attachments. You will feel better when you’ll realize they mean nothing. You having each other means everything!

 

Post # 49
Member
7286 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

This excessive and material behaivor will most likely carry into your marriage. Take it as a red flag! I’m not sure you can make him “get it” .

Perhaps take a financial course together like- Financial Peace University with Dave Ramsey or something as an ice breaker to how to discuss these types of matters and what you agree and disagree on.

Post # 51
Member
7286 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

View original reply
@StarIzInkd: Aww your rightly so to feel depressed, frustrated, angry, sad, resentuful and pretty much everything threre is to feel. Its a serious matter. A financial planner would be great, but be prepared to have you wedding dreams change in accordance to what you can truly afford!

Keep us updated and don’t be shy to start a new thread of vent you feelings. We don’t want you to feel alone!

The topic ‘Is he trying to break my heart?!!!’ is closed to new replies.

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