Post # 47
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
Congrats on 8 years- that’s a long time, and means you’ve both done something right! Wishing you lots and lots more happy years to come.
My FI’s grandparents have been together for 50+ years and were broke when they got married at city hall, in the only decent dress that she owned. She always talks about how special that was to her when with what little money he had, he splurged and bought her a tiny saphire ring. I think it’s incredibly romantic and their love truly passed the test of all the hardship they have endured over the years. I think we all need to remember that the material things that we can afford today, we don’t really need, even though our society always tried to convince us otherwise.
I would listen to your husband- sounds like he is thinking about your guys’ financial future more than you are. Taking out a loan comes with serious risks (like ruining your credit!) and responsibilities. I understand the part about wanting to celebrate your relationship and your marriage with your loved ones, and why is that a problem? He’s just suggesting to keep it simple. You will be a beautiful bride without spending a fortune. Sure it would be nice to have an Armani suit and a gorgeous princess dress, and yes, it’s incredibly tempting to have these nice things, but if you don’t, you haven’t lost anything. You are not 3 anymore, look deeper and let go of materialistic attachments. You will feel better when you’ll realize they mean nothing. You having each other means everything!
Post # 48
Member
449 posts
Helper bee
I get that but HE doesn’t. He’s looking at places that are $150/pp and going o about how you can’t NOT have this thing and you cna’t NOT have that thing. He confuses me with bringing up maybe not having a wedding but then continuing on to tlak about all these expensive things HE wants. He actually turned me into this person..I never cared about materialistic things or designer names or anything.. he got me into caring. And I’m the only one who is putting funds away. He keeps splurging on things like going out to eat n all. I’m so frustrated 🙁
Post # 49
Member
7286 posts
Busy Beekeeper
This excessive and material behaivor will most likely carry into your marriage. Take it as a red flag! I’m not sure you can make him “get it” .
Perhaps take a financial course together like- Financial Peace University with Dave Ramsey or something as an ice breaker to how to discuss these types of matters and what you agree and disagree on.
Post # 50
Member
449 posts
Helper bee
@Eva Peron: I was thinking we both need to sit with a Financial Planner/Advisor at our banks and talk to them about what we have,w hat we want, what we need. See what they say. I WAS all disillusional… now it’s him lo. He had a MOMENt of Reality and that was it. lol. I’m depressed.. probably shouldn’t even discuss it now :/
Post # 51
Member
7286 posts
Busy Beekeeper
@StarIzInkd: Aww your rightly so to feel depressed, frustrated, angry, sad, resentuful and pretty much everything threre is to feel. Its a serious matter. A financial planner would be great, but be prepared to have you wedding dreams change in accordance to what you can truly afford!
Keep us updated and don’t be shy to start a new thread of vent you feelings. We don’t want you to feel alone!